---- Dae ----
Daedalus Kane readjusted his headphones in a desperate bid to block out the blonde Esper's increasingly loud argument with one of the training center's guides. He found little solace in the screen filled with one-sided messages between him and his long time friend Simon.
The two of them had been best friends as long as Dae could remember. They shared interest in robotics and coding. Back in elementary school the gap between the normal students and the Espers wasn't as prominent. Dae would wave goodbye to Simon, who was staying after school for the robotics club, and head to Esper training. The two would reconnect after their respective after school activities, both eager to share their creations. Neither cared that one was created with a plug and play board and the other was welded and soldered with psychic powers.
Children have an infinite capacity for strangeness. Eventually adults will teach them jealousy which turns to fear before finally becoming prejudice. Those teachings began to take root the second to last year before secondary education. While Dae's classmates began studying for SATs, Dae, along with the other three Espers and one guide at the school, was given half days.
A small van with the letters EGC (Esper Guide Center) emblazoned across its side idled outside the school at lunch time. The other students would wave goodbyes to their 'lucky' classmates while spitting bitterness in hushed tones.
Dae couldn't blame them. From their perspective it was a dream. Superhero classes and a guaranteed career if you tested high enough. They would never know the fear of losing your livelihood because a power you never asked for wasn't enough. Wouldn't understand how the Espers longed to trade their back-breaking training sessions for studying with friends. Wouldn't consider what happened to the Espers too low class to be hired for their ability. How do you work your mandated years with no abilities? What do you do when those years are up and you've no secondary education?
All those questions turned to tension. And tension turned to corruption. The Esper across from Dae in the waiting room was cracking under the pressure. Still, he couldn't force guiding out of the poor training center staffer, he should know that. Blondie would have taken the same classes as Dae. Filled in the same bubble for the fill-in-the-blank sentence.
"Guiding must be _____"
There was only one right answer.
Consciously given.
Outside of their ability to cleanse the corruption that accrued in Esper's power vessels, guides were regular people. Fragile and vulnerable to their psychically powered counterparts. Forcing guiding was as reckless as forcing a surgeon to press a scalpel against your skin.
The tension building between blondie and the guide was making Dae worry he might start seeing red: the guide's or blondie's? Dae didn't know. He was hoping for the latter. Something about blondie's entitled attitude rubbed Dae the wrong way. Made him acutely aware of the tantalizing moldability of the phone resting in his hand. Would there be enough metal to staple his mouth shut?
As the shouting reached a fever pitch Dae slid his headphones off and began to stand. But as his eyes found the couple he was stopped in his tracks. The guide, a boy who couldn't have been much older than Dae and the other Esper, cupped blondie's face gently and kissed him deeply.
A wave of guiding energy curled out from the pair. Something like cleansing incense smoke filled the room. It gently enveloped Dae, knocking him back into his seat. The dull thud drew the guide's attention. Dae's face flushed deep pink as striking red eyes pinned him in place. They were foreign and familiar at the same time. The guide's expression was one of passive curiosity.
Blondie dropped his head to rest in the nape of the guide's neck the moment the guide disconnected the kiss.
"See? That's all I needed. Why do you have to make everything so difficult?"
If the guide's eyes hadn't immobilized Dae he might have tackled blondie. A beast began to stir in Dae's chest. He held it tight as it raged against the entitled prick mistreating this gorgeous guide. The guide's response was much more mature.
"It's fine, Cas, I understand," The guide's voice was as soothing as his wavelength: warm and gentle
"When's she getting here?" Blondie said.
The guide's cockatrice-like eyes turned away from Dae and towards the other Esper, Cas. Cas tilted his head to the side to peer up at the guide. He tried his best to quell the beast raging at the indignity of Cas being in the guide's arms instead of himself. Dae turned his focus to his phone and slipped his headphones back on.
He opened a social media app in an attempt to distract himself from the prettiest man in the world and the blonde leech attached to him. It did little.
A video of his school's only guide/homegrown microcelebrity auto-played. Madeline "Mac" Carpenter sat at a vanity, curling her hair and speaking to the camera animatedly.
"Someone on my last video asked me what guiding classes look like leading up to the classification test! As I'm sure many of you know, I can't quite go into the details due to content guidelines.Also it's just kinda…weird(?) to talk about with non-guides."
Dae was more than aware of how the general public, or at least his classmates, viewed guiding. Tell a teenager that sex could be involved and they lose all sense of reason. One of Dae's last conversations with Simon had been on that very topic.
A classmate of theirs asked Dae if he'd ever slept with Mac. Simon and Dae shared a look and both turned to said classmate with twin expressions of disgust.
"They don't let minors guide each other," Dae said dismissively, eager to move on from this line of conversation.
Unfortunately his comment sparked Simon's interest, "You didn't tell me you were getting it on with MILFs! Respect dude!"
Dae turned his disgust to his friend and shook his head, "Gross. We do no-contact guiding with blood transfusions."
"You're getting poked every day?" Simon shivered.
Dae wordlessly pulled up his sleeves, showing off one lone bruise, "Nah, it's more like once a month. They don't let us go all out until the classification test."
Simon, curiosity now sated, resumed his tirade against his homework load. Unfortunately, their horny loser classmate hadn't moved on.
"But you could get with her, right? Like after you're an adult?"
"Guiding isn't sex. I don't want to fuck her. And you're an idiot." Dae rolled his eyes and turned his focus back to his math homework. A hand rested on his shoulder and he startled, ready to start swinging if that loser kept pushing it.
When he wheeled around he was shocked to see Mac, not his annoying classmate, standing over him.
"You wound me Daedalus," Her tone was teasing and cheerful. Her light curls bounced as she giggled at Dae's expression.
"I- I mean-" Dae stuttered awkwardly for a moment before remembering himself, "I don't have to justify not wanting to sleep with you."
"Don't knock it till you try it!" Dae scowled at Mac as she dissolved into a fit of laughter. When she finally composed herself she spoke again, "It's time to go, bus's here."
Simon's expression had been off that day. Dae hadn't recognized it at the time, too busy smacking Mac away as she repeatedly tried to hold his hand. Memories of ice in his veins frosted his vision and shielded him from his new reality. One where his closest friend left him on read because of a perceived relationship with a girl Dae considered little more than a coworker.
While there was no official guiding between trainees, it was far from unheard of. Take these two for example. Cas and the angel rubbing soothing circles on his back as he mumbled like a toddler about nerves and blame.
"She says she's here. Can you get her and lead her back here?"
Dae could hear Cas over Mac's babbling in his headphones. He glanced up again and saw the guide smiling. It was a professional, tired smile. One that reminded Dae of his mother. Late nights where she came home in her guide uniform and told him she was too tired to make dinner. Grabbing meds for her and praying to all the Esper's that came before Dae to give her a good night's rest.
"Course," The guide patted Cas on the back before turning towards the door, and towards Dae.
Dae's head snapped down to focus on his dark phone screen. He tried his best to fold in on himself and become invisible. The guide stopped right in front of him. Dae hesitantly lifted his head to meet blazing crimson eyes.
"Sorry about him, he's just nervous."
Dae wanted to respond. To open his mouth and tell the guide that Cas's shitty behavior wasn't the guide's fault. Maybe even thank him. But before Dae could unhinge his tense jaw, the guide was leaving. As the guide passed by, Dae's eyes were drawn to his prominent collarbone upon which rested an ID tag. Dae would have preferred a name but the guide's tag was twisted around. Only showing a barcode and a three digit identifier.
609
When 609 returned he was accompanied by a shockingly familiar face. Mac mirrored Dae's shock when she rounded the corner. An older woman, presumably Mac's mother, based on their matching thin features and light cottonlace skin, followed behind. Mac's glossy pink lips parted in surprise but before she could speak her mother cut in.
"Deadalus Kane! You're the inventor Mac's always telling me about!"
"It's Dae-" Dae frowned and turned his attention to Mac, "What are you telling people about me?"
Mac smiled. Relief flooded her features. Sure she and Dae got along, but they were nowhere near close enough to warrant this kind of excitement.
"That you're madly in love with me!"
Beside Mac, 609's mouth fell open and he brought up a hand adorned with numerous rings and black nail polish to cover it. Dae's eyes went wide and his head started shaking before he could speak. Mac was already cackling at Dae's abject horror and her mother was scowling.
"I'm gay!" Dae awkwardly spit out.
Luckily his declaration was buried by Mac's mother who all but shouted, "You're engaged, Madaline! Don't lead this poor boy on!"
"Huh?" Dae stared between Mac and her mother. Mac's amusement died and she straightened up.
"I guess it never came up." Mac smiled at Dae apologetically. 609 looked away as if examining the floral wallpaper in the waiting room, "And don't worry mother, I'm just teasing Dae."
"Well, then forgive me for being worried about your image!" Mac's mother bit out the words as sarcastically as possible. An uncomfortable silence filled the room. After a beat Mac crossed the room to join Cas. Mac's mother and 609 trailed behind. Mac's mother materialized a bag covered in powder pink hearts. Cas took it from her with a strained smile.
"Thank you Layla."
Mac's mother, Layla, smiled and waved Cas away, "Don't thank me! Thank your fiance!" Before Mac was forced to endorse the gift that was clearly all her mother's idea, Layla turned to Dae, "I would have brought a gift for you if I had known you'd be here."
Dae's eyebrows shot up and he pointed to himself in confusion, half hoping she'd meant to address 609. The guide who actually managed Cas' corruption. She laughed and shook her head as if she and Dae were sharing a joke.
"Who else would I be talking about?"
All eyes save Layla's went to 609 who was standing in the background with his hands tucked behind his back. Layla followed Dae's gaze to the guide. She rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue disapprovingly.
"Mac, you'll be the only one going in with Cas. You know what the press will say if there's another guide there, especially one like…" She trailed off and looked at 609 critically.
609 wore baggy black jeans and large boots adorned with chains. He layered an off the shoulder band tee over a black sleeveless halter top that showed off his chest and collarbone. His ears were covered in piercings. Add his eyes and he was quite a sight. An angelic one if you asked Dae, but Layla didn't seem capable of recognizing beauty.
"Are there going to be reporters at the test?" Mac's face managed to go even paler and she nervously picked at her acrylics.
"A small team, a few from our team and a few from Sceptr Pharmaceuticals." Layla nodded to Cas as she mentioned Sceptr, unmoved by her daughter's distress, "We're making history after all! The first ever test with a designated guide!"
"There have been several tests with designated guides before now, it's just not common." Dae startled as a soft, soothing voice whispered next to him. He turned to see 609 who'd somehow crept across the entire room to take a seat with Dae, "I sat in on a test once."
609 was even more beautiful up close. His eyelashes were long and held low, caging his deep red eyes as he looked towards Mac and Cas. His hair was black save a streak of white, cut short and layered with two long strands hanging down to rest on his prominent collarbone.
Dae's eyes were drawn to the edge of the halter top. Bruises, pink, blue, green and yellow poked out from underneath it. As Dae dragged his eyes back up to 609's face he finally noticed the deep bags under the guide's eyes and the sallow tint of his skin. Dae's own mother, a chronic overworker and night shift aficionado, never looked this bad. What was someone around Dae's age doing to look so withered?
"How old are you?"
"Hmm?" 609 moved his focus to Dae and tilted his head, "I'm nineteen. A year older than you."
"How do you know how old I am?" Dae looked anxiously at Mac, nervous as to what she could have shared with this guide.
609 laughed and his eyebrows came together in pitying amusement, "You're here, aren't you?"
Embarrassment painted Dae's cheeks pink. Of course 609 could guess his age as he waited to take the test everyone took right after they turned 18. In a small act of mercy from the beyond, the training room doors opened. A staff member wearing a lab coat rushed past carrying a girl covered in soot. Dae caught the shine of fresh blood on her lips. An uneasy silence fell over the room.
Even Cas seemed unsettled. 609's focus turned away from Dae and back to the other three. Concern and concentration creased his brow. Dae was both thankful for the reprieve and desperate to regain the guide's full attention.
"Do you dye your hair?"
Mac and 609 turned to Dae at the same time. Mac's expression was strained and slightly frantic. She held up an X with her hands as 609 nervously twisted the white tuft in his bangs. The sullen look on 609's face would have been enough to warn Dae of his mistake even without Mac's dramatic miming.
The doors opened again, this time revealing a burly man in a guide uniform, Dr. Cunningham, "Mr. Jessop, you're up."
Cas strutted through the doors. Before Dr. Cunningham could close the door, Layla caught it with a vise grip. He stared down at her with anxious confusion. Despite his intimidating appearance he was actually quite soft spoken and nonconfrontational. Dae chuckled to himself and was thrilled to find 609 joining him. 609's laughter sounded like windchimes. The deep blush on Dae's cheeks spread up to his ears.
"Spectator's stairs are that way…"
Layla rolled her eyes and wrenched the door further open, "I know that! That's where I'm going! My daughter-" She shoved Mac past Dr. Cunningham, "will be guiding Mr. Jessop."
Mac shot 609 an apologetic, pleading look as she disappeared into the training room. 609's posture relaxed a little as soon as she was out of sight.
"It's all been cleared with the board! I'm sure you've heard about it."
Dr. Cunningham frowned down at his clipboard. His disbelief morphed to unease. He nodded reluctantly and politely thanked Layla. As he closed the door behind him Layla spun around to address Dae.
"Daedalus!"
"Dae" Dae corrected.
Layla ignored him, steamrolling on, "You're the tech genius that's been getting all those offers, aren't you?"
Her eyes roved over him, analytical and intimidating. Accessing Dae's worth to her and Mac now that she didn't see him as a threat to whatever arranged marriage bullshit was going on between Mac and Cas. Whatever she found must have been enough as she strode across the room to stand directly in front of Dae. The way she looked down at him made him feel inferior. Not in the fluttery self-conscious way 609's gaze did. 609 felt like potential. Layla felt like a failure. Her eyes held him in place as if she were a telekinetic Esper.
"What's your predicted rank?"
Dae looked away from her, reluctant to discuss the topic, especially in front of 609. Luckily, 609 stepped in like Dae's very own white knight.
"Wait- You're named after the wax wings guy?" 609 seemed to have recovered from his earlier melancholy, much to Dae's elation.
"The inventor of the wings, not the one who fell into the sea. That was his son."
609 laughed, "Well damn, don't have any kids."
The blush was back, now spreading down Dae's neck.
Layla scoffed and turned away from Dae. The click of her heels faded as she walked down the hallway to the spectators stairs. 609 smiled at Dae, soft and intrigued, "Can you show me some of the stuff you've made?"
"Uhhhh…" Dae glanced around nervously, "I don't really carry that stuff with me."
609 laughed again before leaning forward, into Dae's space, and tapping the phone in Dae's hand, "I meant pictures." Dae's mouth fell open in a silent O. 609 nearly doubled over with laughter. The embarrassment was nothing if it meant getting to hear more of that laugh.
Dae thrust his phone forward. Offering it up and creating space between himself and the guide simultaneously. The screen lit up to show Mac's video. 609 arched an eyebrow at Dae who lunged forward to switch over to his photo album.
"I- we're just friends. I mean not really friends…um- so the thing is we just-" Dae covered his face with his hands and let himself enjoy 609 cackling for a moment as he tried to compose himself, "We go to the same school. There's only five of us."
"Mmmm" 609 nodded showing his understanding. He turned his attention back to Dae's phone, now showcasing his latest creations. After several beats of silence filled only with 609 nodding 609 looked up at Dae self consciously, "I dunno why I was expecting clockwork shit. I don't know what half of this is, sorry."
Dae shook his head vigorously, "You don't have to be sorry. I'll explain it if you want- Or not, it's fine if you don't care. I shouldn…"
"Explain it to me." 609 was smiling softly at Dae. Open, eager, and earnest. Dae couldn't remember the last time someone had shown genuine interest in his creations beyond their perceived monetary value.
Before he could tumble into an impromptu lecture about his work, 609 spoke again, "Can I hold your hand? I can't control my guiding well yet. It's easier when it has somewhere to go-"
Dae was already reaching out eagerly. As 609's fingers laced between Dae's, cleansing smoke filled Dae's entire being. The sensation of 609's guiding was amplified tenfold as their hands knit together. Dae turned to a puddle completely at 609's mercy.
"You were going to tell me about your work?"
"Huh?" Dae spoke breathlessly, fighting the desire to pull 609 into his arms and embrace him, "Oh yeah…" Dae bit the inside of his cheek to regain focus and began stuttering through his explanations.
As time ticked on it became easier to talk. 609 was a good listener, engaged and eager to ask questions. The biggest project Dae was working on was a device meant to drain energy from the extradimensional gates Espers and guides were tasked with closing.
"It could be an alternative to in gate deployment! Imagine being able to close unsafe gates without any corruption!"
"That would save so many lives…" While genuinely invested, 609 seemed a little hazy as he spoke.
Dae nodded in agreement, "That's the hope anyways. Course that wouldn't help if someone's already in there…"
"...yeah," Dae fucked up, he didn't know when but he was sure he'd done something to upset 609, "Do you think you could do that with guiding energy?"
Dae blinked several times in surprise, "I could try, if that's what you want."
609 laughed again and Dae stared down at his lap anxiously.
"Have you heard of Total Drain?"
Dae's head shot up. 609 was twisting the white tuft again. Dae's eyes went wide with horror as the pieces started to fall into place. Total drain, full drain of a guide's energy. Leaving guides bedbound for weeks and or physically injured. Something only used in the most dire circumstances. Circumstances that a nineteen year old first year guide should never have been subjected to. Anger coiled in Dae's chest, a viper ready to strike.
"Do they think you're some kind of infinite resource? A rechargeable battery? I got news for them, even rechargeable batteries fail if they're abused like that. What's the plan then? What'll they do when they use up all you have?"
"I'm universally compatible," The guide spoke softly, gentle and placating just as he'd been with Cas. The gentleness forced Dae to bite his tongue even as anger surged in his veins. Bitter comprehension bloomed in him as 609 spoke, "It's not bad. Sure, it puts a little strain on my body. But I can bring people back from the brink of corruption. It's a power trip, I'm not gonna lie. Plus," A wry grin spread across the guide's lips, "The white's pretty cool. And I don't even need to fry my hair with bleach!"
Dae tried to return 609's smile but it fell flat. 609 sighed and looked down at his hands. He looked to be considering something with great sincerity. When he looked up his eyes seemed hollow.
"When I'm used up, I'll have served my purpose."
Before Dae could embarrass himself further with another outburst, the testing room doors opened to reveal another participant hobbling out. At least this Esper was walking. Even if he was leaning heavily on the staff member. There was another entrance to the testing center. Was the staff intentionally sending participants through the lobby as an intimidation tactic?
If it was, it wasn't working on Dae. Not with 609's energy still swirling inside him. When the staffer supporting the Esper noticed 609 they called him over. When 609's arm wrapped around the Esper, Dae felt that jealous, possessive beast thrashing inside his chest. He tried his best to crush its head.
Dae could see the moment 609's guiding energy reached the injured Esper. The Esper's knees gave out beneath him. Dae knew he would have done the same if he'd been standing when the guide took his hand.
A thought came to mind.
Cas hadn't reacted like that. Which meant he was so used to 609's guiding he'd become jaded to it. This time he let the snake thrash and bite as 609 walked out the door.
"What are they doing with this test! Almost every Esper has come out injured." The guide spoke softly.
"...because of you" Was all caught from the doctor's response.
Surely the facility wasn't abusing their universal guide to try to push for higher rank espers. Still, that anger surged again. And Dae let it come. Anger, fear, anxiety, affection, amusement. Dae would take it all if it was coming from 609.
"Mr. Kane," Dr. Cunningham gave Dae a reassuring smile as he held the door open for him. But Dae didn't need luck, not when 609's energy still swirled around inside him.
***
It took Dae thirteen minutes and twelve seconds to clear the test. His records on the mock exams had all exceeded an hour. It wasn't that his abilities were lacking, they just took time. Unlike other elemental Espers, Dae couldn't create metal. All he could do was manipulate it.
The training grounds were built to mimic the scene of a disaster, but due to budget limitations a good portion of the scenery was plastic, not metal as it would be in the field. Dae's instructors reassured him that this would be taken into account when calculating his final score but they still forced him to dedicate hours upon hours to strategy for finding as much scrap metal as he could.
Normally this meant meticulously removing screws and bolts from machinery and melding them together into some kind of weapon. Dae was meant to rely on physical strength and combat prowess more than his ability since it relied so heavily on what materials were available.
None of that had mattered this time though. As soon as the buzzer started and Dae heard the first shuffling footsteps of the simulated gate-beasts he was off. He could feel his ability in a way he had never been able to before. It was like all of the metal sang out to him, radar waves broadcasting their exact location. As soon as Dae called out to them they responded.
There was a weapon in Dae's hand before he even had time to think. He held a spear resembling the ones used in whaling back in the day. His buzzing senses sent out a hum of energy, once again resonating with every speck of metal in the building. He felt the rebar under the concrete like divining rods, drawing him towards his prey.
Just as the scent of his adrenalin drew the creature towards him.
He spun on his heel and hurled the spear towards the simulation. Which this time took the form of a headless bear covered in twitching eyes, slobbering mouths, and wet noses.
Pierce the flesh
Shatter the core
The words sang to him, joining the chorus of humming metal and the beat of his heart.
His spear found its mark, lodging itself deeply into the creature's side. It let out a litany of shrieks from its assorted maws and began to barrel towards Dae. Dae simply stepped aside and turned his focus to the spear, shaping it into something new to suit his needs.
He flattened the spear's rounded handle and pressed the bottom edge into a sharp blade running the length of the weapon. All he had to do was force it down. The creature was cleaved in two, nothing more than a log being split into suitable firewood. Floating in the center between its two blood halves there was a glowing cube. This cube was the facility's approximation of the cores that powered the gates. Always found in a monster or hidden behind various traps and puzzles. Once the core was destroyed the creature would melt into dust and the gate would close.
Dae reached out and plucked out the cube before the creature could regenerate too much. It had already started to pull itself back together, sending out tendrils of sinew to pull the sides in. Dae flicked his hand to rid it of the blood and viscera before closing his fist around the cube and crushing it.
The faux gate-beasts body began to drift away in a pixelated haze and Dae could hear the inspectors approaching him.
The anger that had been coursing through him so strongly had been excised through his battle and all he was left with were the after effects of the guide floating away from him like wisps of smoke.
An instructor, a middle aged woman with salt and pepper curls and dark eyes patted him on the back. As he turned to her she held out a new watch. Government issue, given to all Espers upon their completion of their classification. It had more functions than the trainee watch currently adorning Dae's wrist.
The trainee watch was mostly only used for short range communication with instructors and monitoring of vitals. Dae was sure he'd taken a course on the functions of the new watch he was currently strapping into place but he couldn't remember a thing as the screen showed him a single sentence.
Welcome Deadalus Kane S class esper
Long suppressed memories bubbled to the surface. A guide writhing on the floor of Dae's living room. My fault. Dae's mother's cold glare. My fault. Liquid metal pooling into the shape of a cookie before melting through Dae's clenched fist and hissing when it hit the polyester carpet.
Dae's mind could only come up with one response, "Mom's going to be so disappointed."
Any confidence or righteous indignation drained out of Dae. Suddenly he was seven years old again, being told to prepare for an unknown visitor. The only person who ever came to the Kane's home was the Esper contracted with Helena Kane, and she never came inside. Dae had never seen her.
Something in Helena's voice had been bad. It wasn't her tired bad or her angry bad. It wasn't a bad that Dae had experience with. So Dae didn't know how to avoid making it worse.
The front door groaned as it swung inward and Dae jumped.
Dae approached the hallway. He poked his head out and saw his mother leaning against the wall with her eyes closed. She reached a hand behind her head and tugged a hair tie out of her dark wavy hair. Dae watched, mesmerized as it spread out along her shoulders.
Before Helena had gotten the exclusive contract with her Esper, she would have Dae brush her hair. She'd set him up on the couch and sit in front of him. He'd eagerly take the brush from her hands and set to work gently untangling her curls.
Helena Kane's hair was beautiful, Dae thought so anyways. He loved how soft it felt and the way it smelled like strawberries all the time. When other people told Dae he looked like his mother he would smile and run his fingers through his own hair, only to be disappointed each time at how different it felt.
In the hall, Helena's eyes opened slowly. She looked towards Dae and gave him a tired smile. It was a bad smile. The tired kind of bad. She held a hand out and gestured for Dae to come to her. He took a deep breath before stepping out into the hall.
The moment Helena saw what Dae was wearing she scowled. Dae flinched and darted back into his room. He pulled off the reflective Esper-in-training vest and tossed it under his bed carelessly.
"Daedalus, why were you wearing that?" Helena's voice was strained. Also bad. The angry kind of bad. He stepped back out and looked down at his feet anxiously.
"I'm sorry."
Helena sighed and walked towards him. She pulled him into a hug and he buried his head in her stomach. The scent of menthol overpowered the strawberry smell of her shampoo. Even more bad. Pain bad, hurting and aching. Dae wondered if she had to do more work to get home early. Dae wondered if it was his fault.
"I'm not mad, kiddo. I'm just tired."
Dae nodded against her, he'd already realized that. Helena took Dae's shoulders and pushed him back. She looked him over and hummed to herself. Dae hoped it meant she was happy. She didn't say anything. Dae waited.
"Would you like to hear a story?"
Dae nodded against her shirt. He didn't dare look up at her, afraid to confirm why she trembled against him.
"There was once a scorpion," Her hands cupped Dae's face and she tilted his gaze up towards her. He met her gaze and watched as she searched his face for…something, "The scorpion wanted to cross a stream. But he couldn't swim."
She turned his head back towards her body and looked up, away from him, "The scorpion approached a creature who was an amazing swimmer, a frog, for help. The frog looked at the scorpion suspiciously. It asked the scorpion how it could be sure the scorpion wouldn't sting it."
"The scorpion told the frog that it would be foolish to sting the frog since that would kill them both," Dae's fingers twitched anxiously and his mother gently placed a hand over his.
"So the frog agrees. But they only make it half of the way across the river, can you guess why?" Dae, who hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath, coughed and breathed in raggedly.
"The scorpion stung the frog?" Dae said it hesitantly, hopeful that he was wrong. But Helena smiled down at him bitterly and nodded.
"The scorpion stung the frog. And as they both began sinking into the water the frog asked why."
Dae moved away from his mother. He pulled his knees up to his chest then peered at her over them. She sighed and leaned forward, brushing her fingers along Dae's face. Some of her hair fell down across her face, casting more shadows and making her look even more tired.
"The scorpion said 'because it is my nature," Helena straightened up and looked at Dae. He met her gaze even as he withered under it.
Her eyes lifted from him and surveyed the room. She pressed her lips together, also bad. Dae looked at the room, tried to see what she saw.
"Would you like it if I made us cookies?"
Dae blinked up at his mother like she'd turned into a gate beast. She grinned at him and laughed softly. Dae cautiously joined in. A light tittering ready to fade the moment Helena showed any sign of displeasure. Instead, she pulled him off the couch and into another hug.
"Can you tidy up while I cook?" Dae nodded eagerly, "Someone very important is coming today. I need you to be on your best behavior."
Dae nodded again, more serious this time. Helena walked over to the coffee table and picked up two metal marbles. She eyed them then looked at Dae. His lip started to quiver as she held them out to him. She dropped them into Dae's trembling hand. They felt heavier than Dae remembered.
The entire time Dae cleaned he wondered who their guest would be. Helena had never baked for anyone before, not even her Esper. Whoever this was had to be more important than her Esper.
At the time Dae's Esper classes had only just started talking about the classification test. Dae had learned that Esper's abilities could be measured and graded. He wondered if the Esper coming had a better grade than Helena's Esper? The thought scared Dae. Helena's Esper already made her so tired. Would it be worse with this new Esper?
Dae's mind started spiraling. His skin felt itchy and there was a pounding sound in his ears. He sat on the couch and tried his best to do the breathing activities they taught at his Esper classes. Each inhale felt like needles traveling down his throat. Each exhale felt like drowning.
A warm sugary smell broke through Dae's building panic. He looked towards the kitchen in a daze. He could see his mother leaning against the kitchen counter and licking cookie dough off a spoon. She looked happy.
She was humming to herself and her eyes were closed as she savored the taste of the dough. Dae felt himself relax as he watched her. The song was one she'd hum to Dae during long trips to training centers. It had an upbeat tune and repetitive lyrics. Sometimes Helena would substitute her own just to make Dae smile.
The oven beeped and Helena stopped humming. Dae, who had turned around to rest his head on the back of the couch, watched her pull the cookie sheet out only to turn it around and put it right back in. Dae's brows furrowed and he hummed in confusion to himself.
"Why?"
Helena turned to Dae with gentle consideration. She pointed at him with the mixing spoon she'd been holding in her mouth, "The heat is coming from the back of the oven, so I have to turn them to make sure they cook evenly."
She put the spoon back in her mouth and pulled up something on her watch. Dae observed her carefully. He took in her every movement. It was the first time he'd gotten a glimpse of this version of his mother. Coming home early, baking, even the softness and singing. Everything felt foreign and achingly familiar at the same time. A taste of something Dae didn't know he was missing.
When the timer went off again Helena pulled the cookies out. She organized them on a plate Dae had never seen before. It had snapdragon and anemone flowers around its edge. Helena set it on the coffee table in front of Dae.
Dae reached out to take a cookie but Helena caught his wrist and clicked her tongue. He looked up at her nervously and she rolled her eyes.
"Congratulations."
Dae looked up at the instructor speaking to him, a shorter man with balding hair and an amused smile that made Dae think of 609. There was no doubt in Dae's mind that the guiding he received was the only reason he was able to perform at this level.
"While you don't seem to have any injuries I'm sure you'll need some guiding so feel free to report to our med bay. We'll give you around four hours to recover then you will need to report to the main offices for assignment. You're the first of this batch to present as an S class so you will have plenty of offers, I'm sure. Please keep in mind you will only be allowed to be stationed in high gate activity areas due to your ability level so feel free to start looking around at the cities you might be able to live in." The male instructor handed Dae a pamphlet.
Dae looked down at the collage of various cities' downtowns and attractions plastered across the pamphlet and flipped it to scan through the list of cities. The closest one was a two hour flight away. He felt his heart sink.
The woman whose hand was still on his shoulder began to pat his back.
"Are you ok sweetie, you look pale. Do you need someone to take you to the medical unit? Don't worry we have plenty of guides on standby for testing days. I believe we even have our own miracle working today." She smiled at him reassuringly but that only made guilt gnaw at him.
"Do you mean that universal guide?"
"Oh you've met 609! Wonderful!" She clapped excitedly, clearly expecting Dae to join in on her excitement.
"Have you heard of total drain?"
"Because it's my nature."
The words drifted around the memory of an older guide's face twisted in pain at momentary contact with Dae's vessel. Dae's hands shook, remembering the look on the 609's face as he explained what this center, what these exact instructors had done to him. Dae needed to get away from 609.
"I don't need any guiding. Can I go straight to the main offices?" The woman frowned at him and asked Dr. Cunningham, who Dae realized was standing among the instructors, to come and check him out.
The doctor shrugged and shook his head in disbelief at the other instructors, "He's fine. It's like he never used any powers at all."
It took Dr. Cunningham voicing this for Dae to realize exactly how good he was feeling. The doctor was right, none of the typical exhaustion or strain plagued him. He felt like he'd just been on a leisurely jog. Nothing more than a pleasant thrum of adrenaline buzzing through his veins.
"You sure are something Mr. Kane." The male inspector spoke again, eyeing Kane in a manner all too similar to how Mac's mother had earlier.
Dae shrugged, "I guess it was just a good day, sir."
The instructors laughed and Dae tried his best to press down his anxieties about the future.