I fell in love at seventeen.
Okay, maybe fell is too soft a word. More like I dove headfirst, face-first, pride-first into the biggest, most ridiculous crush of my life.
It all started with my best friend, Nayel Holland.
We'd been inseparable since kindergarten — partners in crime, troublemakers deluxe, the duo teachers sighed about and janitors cursed after we left glitter glue on classroom doors.
Life with him was loud, messy, and fun.
And then came his older brother.
Nadrien Holland.
Nadrien was...
How do I put this? Imagine if a Greek god got bored of Olympus and decided to transfer to our high school just to ruin my sanity. Six-foot-two, silky dark hair that looked like it was styled by angels, a jawline sharp enough to slice bread, and those eyes — the kind that don't just look at you but cut right through your soul.
He wasn't the cold, arrogant type like you'd expect from someone that good-looking.
Nope. He was calm, composed, soft-spoken, and so damn mature. He only spoke when necessary, and when he did, even teachers shut up to listen. On top of that, he was brilliant — always topping exams, famous across the school, the untouchable crush of every grade.
And yes. Including me. I'd admired him since childhood, but it wasn't until puberty slapped me at sixteen that I realized: oh no. He wasn't just a role model or some admiration thing.
He was my dream man.
My destiny.
The main character of all my teenage daydreams and, uh, not-so-innocent fantasies.
Of course, I thought I could keep it hidden. Lock my feelings away, never let them out.
Spoiler alert: I failed miserably.
Because Nayel — my best friend, the brother of my crush — figured it out.
How?
Because apparently staring at someone like they're the last slice of pizza at 2 a.m isn't subtle. Who knew.
The only good thing? Nayel didn't laugh at me. He actually supported me. Which should've made me feel better. But no. Like What do you mean my dirty little secrets aren't actually secret?!
The whole disaster started today. It was the middle of class, and instead of listening to the lecture, I was staring dreamily out the window like some lovesick idiot.
From my seat, I had the perfect view of the outdoor basketball court. And guess who was out there? The seniors. And among them, the one and only Brother Nadrien. Clad in a red half-sleeve jersey, hair slightly messy, sweat shining against his skin, he looked like a magazine cover.
Every move he made was perfect — running, dribbling, shooting. Effortlessly composed. Effortlessly hot. I nearly drooled. Like, actually drooled. The world around me ceased to exist, including the part where my teacher had been scolding me for the past thirty seconds.
"Alvin Browns!"
The sound of my name snapped me back into reality. The entire class went silent, and I finally noticed the teacher glaring at me like she was ready to murder.
Nayel had been poking my arm this whole time, but of course, I hadn't noticed. He just sighed while I gave the teacher my best haha, oops my bad smile.
Before I could come up with any excuse, the teacher pointed at the door. Boom. Punished. I sighed dramatically, grabbed my books, and marched out of the classroom.
As I leaned against the wall, Nayel's laugh echoed behind me, and I sent him my deadliest glare. Traitor. Whatever. Standing outside wasn't that bad. At least I could keep dreaming about Brother Nadrien. My beautiful, perfect, untouchable Brother Nadrien. Gosh, why couldn't he just be mine already?
I slapped my cheeks lightly, trying to calm down. My heart was racing like a fangirl at a concert. If anyone saw me, I'd die of embarrassment. And then fate decided to make things worse. Because walking down the hallway — towards me, of all places — were two seniors. And right there, between them, was the man himself. Brother Nadrien.
Oh. Shit.
Panic set in instantly. My eyes widened, my soul left my body, and my brain screamed: No, no, no, not now! If he saw me standing here looking like I'd just been caught daydreaming about him, my already fragile reputation would be ruined.
The hell should I do?
I pressed my hands over my face like some kid playing hide-and-seek, silently praying he'd just walk past and ignore me.
I heard the seniors chatting as they passed, footsteps fading, and I thought—thank God, safe! Brother Nadrien was gone with them. Relief washed over me.
Slowly, I lowered my hands, took a deep breath, and leaned back against the wall.
My heart was still hammering, but at least I had escaped total humiliation—
Until I turned my head. And nearly died.
Because Nadrien was still there.
Standing right beside me, jersey clinging to him, basketball in one hand, and that calm, unreadable expression on his face. Except this time, there was something else in his eyes too—something like amusement, as if he'd just caught me making a complete fool of myself. Which, to be fair, he had. "What are you doing here?" His voice was low, gentle, too calm for my panicked heart.
My brain scrambled for an excuse, any excuse, and out came the dumbest words of my life. "I—I came here to throw papers. Yes. You see, I love my class clean and tidy, so I collected all the useless papers and snack packets from the floor and, uh, threw them in the dustbin here. That's all. Haha." I pointed proudly at the trash can like I'd just invented recycling. For a second, I even felt smug.
Wow. Brilliant. What a genius I was. People should learn from me. I giggled to myself like a devilish mastermind. Then I heard it. A low chuckle. My head snapped up.
Nadrien's lips were curved, faint but real, like he'd just heard the funniest thing in the world. His face had softened, and for a terrifying second, it almost looked like, adoration.
My heart flipped upside down.
"What?" I asked, suspicious.
"Nothing," he said smoothly, quickly straightening his expression. Then, with the calmest tone imaginable, "I'm impressed by your hard work to keep the classroom clean."
I didn't catch the teasing edge in his voice at all. Instead, I puffed out my chest and rubbed my nose like a proud hero. "Of course. I know. I'm a genius." I even crossed my arms, standing tall. And that's when I caught it—his stare. Gentle. Way too gentle. His eyes lingered on me like he knew more than he should, like I was some puzzle he'd already solved while I was still struggling with the pieces.
And suddenly my stomach dropped.
Oh god, he's so hot. So damn hot! My mind was spiraling like a broken fan, and then—I froze. Because Nadrien's face, it looked red. Not just a little. Red red. His ears, the tips of them, even his neck. Like he was about to explode. What the hell? Why did he look embarrassed? Or am I imagining? Before I could figure it out, the school bell rang, jolting me back to earth.
The classroom door opened, and my nightmare officially began. The teacher stepped out, giving me that disapproving look only teachers master.
"Alvin, I shouldn't see you dozing off in the middle of class again."
Shit.
There goes my face. My reputation. Flying straight out the window with my dignity waving goodbye. I straightened up, bowed my head, and nodded like a model student.
As soon as she left, my act crumbled. My body was frozen, my brain fried, and I absolutely, positively could not look at Nadrien. And then Nayel popped out of the classroom, sipping his blueberry juice like nothing was wrong. "Oh, you're here," he said casually to his brother. "You can go get ready and wait for us downstairs. We're on classroom clean-up duty today. We'll be done soon." He shoved an orange juice at me, but I couldn't even lift my hand.
My face was still redder than the damn juice box. I wanted to vanish into thin air.
"What's wrong with you?" Nayel frowned, waving a hand in front of my face. Before I could answer, Nadrien spoke, voice as calm as ever. "Alvin just told me about your class clean-up. I'm impressed he cares so much about keeping the classroom tidy." On the surface, it was an innocent line. Perfectly normal. But to me? It felt like a taunt. His voice was too smooth, too amused. And that look in his eyes—like he could see right through me, right down to the embarrassing mess inside my brain.
"Oh, that's good," Nayel said sheepishly, Then, tilting his head at me, "But why does he look like he's seen a ghost?"
I swallowed hard and forced myself to glance up. And there he was.
Brother Nadrien. Smiling at me. Just a tiny curve at the corner of his lips, like he knew exactly what was going on in my head.
My stomach dropped. My knees nearly gave out Oh my god, his smile. So beautiful. So gorgeous. Oh my god, he's so handsome, so kind. I'm embarrassed but—still—he's so fine. Brother, please, take me. I want to be yours so bad! Please marry me. No—wait—imagine it, Alvin. Imagine him slamming you against the wall, no, no, that's too direct, maybe just a kiss. A long, slow, hot kiss, ahhh, stop, brain, stop!
I screamed all this inside my head while keeping what I thought was a calm poker face.
Spoiler: it probably wasn't. But then—something weird happened. Nadrien's face changed. The corner of his lips fell, almost like he was caught off guard. His ears went red, his cheeks flushed, and he suddenly looked, shy? Embarrassed?
As if he's about to burst out. Wait. What? Why he keeps on looking embarrassed? Don't be embarrassed, That was my job!
"I'll go then," Nadrien muttered, voice lower than usual, as if he was trying to steady himself. "Let me know when you're finished." And before I could even blink, he turned and walked quickly down the hall.
I blinked after him, confused. His ears were even redder as he disappeared. "Did he just run away? What happened to him?" I asked aloud, baffled. "He was fine a second ago. Why's he suddenly so red? Oh my god, do you think he's sick?"
Beside me, Nayel was happily sipping my orange juice and his blueberry juice at the same time, the definition of unbothered. He didn't even look at me when he said:
"Did you think anything weird?"
"Huh?"
"Like, were you thinking about him again?" He finally turned, raising an eyebrow. "Don't even try to deny it. I know you're a crazy toast simping for my brother. So—were you?"
My throat went dry. I gulped, then nodded awkwardly. "I mean, yeah? I just thought he's so fine I, kinda wanted to marry him." The words slipped out before I could stop them.
Nayel sighed like a disappointed Asian mom. "Yeah, makes sense then. That's why he got all shy and awkward."
I frowned. "What? Why would that—"
"Because, idiot, he can read minds," Nayel said flatly, like he was announcing the weather.
"So of course he heard you."