After that broadcast aired, even other trainees started contacting me.
「Sender: Joo Dan-woo
Yu-ha, are you okay? Don't worry too much, and it'd be better if you stayed off the internet for a while. We all know how hard you worked, how much responsibility you carried as the leader, how seriously you took everything. We all know. I don't know why they edited the broadcast like that, but Yu-ha, you didn't do anything wrong… (More)」
「Sender: Cheon Serim
This time it's hyung who got hit. It's right before the live show and the production staff really never fails to amaze me.
Just don't watch the next episode. You'll feel better that way.
Or do you want to watch it with me and Aiden hyung?」
「Sender: Aiden Lee
Yu-ha, should I send you eel jelly by quick delivery?」
At least these three.
「Sender: Kang Hyunjin
I'm sorry. I should've behaved properly. Because I lacked judgment, you ended up getting hurt. If there's any way I can explain things, I will.」
He had probably guessed that, just like me, he'd been sold as a victim role in the preview.
「Sender: Park Wonhyo
Hey… you okay? Want me to buy you a drink…? Do you even drink?」
「Sender: Gyeong Ji-won
Hyung did well.」
Plus the guys who were once on the same team.
「Sender: Zixuan
Hyung, are you okay??? ㅠㅠ I don't get it. You did well, why did they do that?
No, maybe—we don't know—maybe they're only making the preview look like that.」
「Sender: Yoo Chanhee
Hyung, keep your mental tight. I know you'll handle it well, but still, don't get shaken for no reason. Whoever says what, I heard hyung did XX well. There's not much time left until the live show. Don't waver now, go all the way and hit the production team back hard. You're definitely not getting eliminated.」
「Sender: Do Ji-hyuk
Eat with Hyunjin once.
Preferably in Hongdae.」
…And finally even those three who were on my team last time.
'Do Ji-hyuk… he actually suggested a solution.'
I couldn't help but think he was exactly the kind of guy he always is. It was even the optimal strategy to counter a villain edit, which made me let out a wry laugh.
'I'm not going to publicly have a show-off meal with Kang Hyunjin where everyone can see, though.'
I had already expected the villain edit. There was no reason to be shocked. I already knew my ranking would drop, and even if it did, according to predictions I should still remain within debut range.
Besides—
'There'll be plenty of people cursing, but just as many people who don't trust the broadcast anyway.'
That was enough.
—It just made me think that maybe Yu-ha isn't as desperate as I thought.
Baek I-hyeon's words flickered through my mind for a moment, but I brushed them away.
The "desperation" Baek I-hyeon spoke of and my own "desperation" were different in weight and value from the start.
'Baek I-hyeon thinks I should be obsessed with getting 1st place.'
My goal isn't 1st place—it's survival. Baek I-hyeon seems to think I need to cling to the 1st place spot for recognition and influence after debut, but for me, there's no reason to insist on 1st place.
The quest only asked me not to fall below 10th place by the 3rd ranking announcement, and all I have to do is follow that quest faithfully until the live finals.
My desperation carries more weight, but at the same time, I'm freer. I don't need to obsess over 1st place.
"It's just a broadcast. There's no need to worry too much. It'll hit once and end. Since I've built up a character all this time, the production will try to keep certain boundaries."
"Of all times, right before the live broadcast threshold…"
"I'm really fine. More importantly, I asked you to meet because I had something to ask."
"Huh?"
I glanced at the door outside the practice room where Hyun Ji-oh and I were holed up. No one was passing through the hallway, but I lowered my voice anyway.
"Is Baek I-hyeon transferring to KRM?"
"…!"
Hyun Ji-oh's eyes widened, his reaction answering the question for me.
"…Ha."
I pushed my hair back irritably, unable to believe how bad it felt to have my prediction be correct.
Seeing my reaction, Hyun Ji-oh cautiously asked,
"…Did you meet him? Senior I-hyeon."
"Yeah. He came as a special MC and called me out. Said we'd be under the same roof soon."
"Can I… ask how you two know each other?"
I looked at Hyun Ji-oh for a moment.
We'd been trainees together for four years, sharing almost everything. We practically lived together—same practice room, same dorm room.
Until the lineup for LON's debut team was finalized, and until I had to leave the dorm because of my parents' accident, we lived together. So Hyun Ji-oh already knew I was from an orphanage.
'Though he doesn't know that one of my adoption chances fell through.'
And he wasn't someone who ran his mouth anywhere. So I honestly told him what Baek I-hyeon and I were.
"Baek I-hyeon and I are from the same orphanage."
"...! Oh, then…"
"But we're nowhere near as close as you're imagining."
I watched Hyun Ji-oh's eyes shift, then asked one more thing.
"Hyun Ji-oh, is Chief Kwon trying to use the connection between me and Baek I-hyeon?"
"...."
"I'm asking if he's getting ready to reveal my background just to give Baek I-hyeon a justification for transferring."
That possibility popped into my head the moment I heard Baek I-hyeon's words.
Baek I-hyeon isn't a soloist—he's part of a group. And he's the center and most popular member of a group that debuted through a survival show, the one whose popularity boosted his mid-tier agency up to a major-tier one.
If someone like him leaves his group members behind and transfers companies, of course there'll be talk.
'At minimum he'll be called an opportunist or a traitor.'
I-hyeon probably decided to switch companies to focus more on individual activities.
Orchid was definitely a top-tier idol group, but outside the K-pop fandom, Baek I-hyeon was the only one with real public recognition.
And his fandom was overwhelmingly the largest. His presence in Orchid was enormous.
In that situation, he would think about transferring to a company that offered better individual support. But there was no way he could transfer quietly just because his contract expired.
'If the most popular member transfers alone, people will call him a deserter or a betrayer.'
So he needed a justification to cancel out the backlash.
That justification was me.
'Couldn't be better for him. He can sell his past again.'
Baek I-hyeon's past had played a huge role in building his initial popularity, and it was widely known to the public.
If he said that someone he had been close to like family back in the orphanage was now at KRM…
If he said he was moving agencies to be with family again…
'Some people would see through it as planned, but most would react emotionally. It would calm the controversy.'
And that was exactly what Baek I-hyeon and Chief Kwon intended.
"…Ha."
Hyun Ji-oh's silence confirmed it. I stepped past him and grabbed the doorknob, ready to confront Chief Kwon immediately.
"Yu-ha, let's act like we don't know."
"…What?"
But that movement stopped at the voice I heard from behind. Startled, I turned back.
"Just stay still."
With a sunken expression I had never seen before, Hyun Ji-oh was looking at me. Wearing that expression, he quietly opened his mouth.
"I heard it won't be revealed for now. Considering your opinion, they'll probably make it official around the end of this year, after
For a moment, I couldn't find any words. Everything coming out of Hyun Ji-oh's mouth was something I had never imagined I would hear from him.
Even while I couldn't bring myself to speak, Hyun Ji-oh continued smoothly.
"If you endure a bit of discomfort, Yu-ha, you can get everything you were supposed to have."
"What?"
"…Honestly, you're the one who should've debuted."
He let out a dry laugh at my reflexive question and answered.
"You were better than me. There's no one at KRM who doesn't know how good you are. Even if your skills dropped because of your slump, why do you think Chief Kwon sent you to
"What are you—"
Ignoring my flustered tone, Hyun Ji-oh continued without stopping, as though he was finally voicing something he had held inside for a long time.
"You would've been an even better main vocal for LON. People would've acknowledged your skill quickly, and you would've swept up the awards. People have been saying it since we entered as trainees—you're definitely going to make it. You'll definitely debut."
"..."
"I just got lucky and stole your spot."
I had been listening blankly to his words, but at that sentence, it was like someone dumped ice water over my head—I snapped back instantly.
'…Lucky?'
It was because of everything that single word dismissed.
My parents' accident, the slump I went through, the four years Hyun Ji-oh endured for his debut—all those things swirled chaotically in my mind.
"You just fell for a bit because of an unexpected accident. Then all you need is another unexpected break. If you endure just a little, things will go so much easier—"
That was my limit.
"Hyun Ji-oh."
"…Huh?"
I couldn't hold back anymore.
"Shut your mouth."
"...!"
"I really can't stand it. Hearing you talk bullshit."
I walked straight out the door. There was no reason to listen to him any further.
From start to finish, everything he said only made my head spin.
***
Even after ending the conversation with Hyun Ji-oh, I still couldn't meet Chief Kwon. He was out of town on a business trip.
I sent a short message explaining what I needed, but—
[Wait until I call you.]
…That was the only reply I got.
So I had no choice but to sit in discomfort and wait for Chief Kwon to return.
Just before closing my phone, another message came in, but when I saw the sender's name, I turned off my phone without reading it.
It was from Hyun Ji-oh.
—Sorry. This… this was your place...
"..."
What surfaced in my mind was the sight of Hyun Ji-oh sobbing uncontrollably in front of my house on the day the LON debut lineup was finalized, begging for forgiveness.
Back then, I thought he was simply expressing disappointment over not competing properly, or sadness as a friend.
But Hyun Ji-oh really believed he had stolen something from me. Now and probably even before my regression.
'…Idiot.'
The accident was just an accident. It wasn't luck or anything else—it was simply something that happened.
Hyun Ji-oh didn't gain anything from my parents' accident, and the reason he became LON's main vocal was simply because he had the skill for it.
In truth, even when I made the debut lineup, not once did I think Hyun Ji-oh would be eliminated. He was a talented trainee, and I had watched his effort up close for four years.
So there was no way his debut was "luck." It was something he earned fairly.
That's why his words were so absurd—absurd enough to make my mind snap for a moment in pure anger.
I had never once given him permission to weigh my gain or loss with such a one-sided sense of debt.
"…Ha."
I let out a small sigh and looked out the bus window. After months tied up with
Riding the bus, I searched Baek I-hyeon's name on my phone. As soon as I typed his three syllables, countless related keywords and articles popped up. But none of them mentioned him transferring to KRM yet.
"..."
To be honest, it wasn't as if I still hated or resented Baek I-hyeon.
I was just sick of his personality and didn't want to be near him; but I didn't want revenge or to complain about anything now.
And that was because—
—Do you want to come with us, Yu-ha?
…It was entirely because afterward, I met my adoptive parents.
"..."
I got off the bus, pulled my cap low, held the flowers I had packed, raised my mask, and entered the building.
People passed by me on the way in, but thankfully no one seemed to recognize me. Thanks to that, I reached my intended destination without trouble.
My parents were enshrined in a spot right around the center.
Inside the glass panel were the photo taken right after my adoption and the family photo we took around the time I became a trainee.
I quietly set down the flowers and looked at the photos with a heavy feeling.
'…Has it been three years?'
For the three years after debut, I visited their resting place every year on their memorial day. But in the two years before I died, I never came once. I hadn't felt I had the face to see them.
They had supported me so much, yet I had turned into a "failed idol." I didn't think I deserved to see them. So this was the first visit in three years.
Looking at the clean glass panel and the names engraved inside, my mouth felt bitter.
'I should've at least taken care of this place.'
After their business failed, my parents had lost all ties with extended family. No one would come take care of them now.
So in the two years I didn't visit, they were practically abandoned.
And after I died…
"..."
Thinking of that, a thought suddenly came to me.
Maybe I shouldn't have given up so easily back then.
Maybe I had committed a mistake that couldn't be undone.
Maybe this second chance… was both an opportunity and a punishment.
I was standing there, staring blankly at my parents' picture, when—
Click!
"...!"
—A sound I should never have heard suddenly rang out.
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