The last thing I remembered was the screech of tires and a kid's terrified face.
Then there was black light flashing before my eyes, before cold certainty settled in my bones. I have died, at the age of twenty-four, as a virgin saving some brat who'd run into traffic while chasing a damn soccer ball.
What a way to go.
"Lord Vortheim! Lord Vortheim, please wake up!"
A feminine panicked voice pierced through the darkness.
I tried to open my eyes, but my eyelids felt like they weighed a thousand pounds. My head throbbed with a splitting migraine, and my mouth tasted like I'd been chewing on copper coins.
What the hell? Did I survive? Am I in a hospital?
"Lord Vortheim, if you don't wake up, I'll have to call the physician! The Duchess will have my head if—"
"I'm... awake," I croaked, forcing my eyes open.
Sunlight stabbed directly into my retinas. I winced, raising a hand to block the light, and that's when I noticed three things that made my blood run cold:
One: This wasn't my hand. It was too pale, too smooth, with long elegant fingers that had never seen a day of manual labor.
Two: I was lying in a massive four-poster bed draped with silk curtains that probably cost more than my entire apartment back on Earth.
Three: The girl hovering over me, mid-twenties, raven-black hair, amber eyes, dressed in a form-fitting maid uniform, was absolutely stunning. And also holding a dagger.
Wait. What?
"Luna?" The name slipped out before I could stop it, along with a flood of memories that definitely weren't mine.
Kael Vortheim. Eighteen years old. Third son of Duke Aldric Vortheim. F-Rank trash at Arclight Academy. Arrogant. Entitled. Destined to—
Oh.
Oh fuck.
The memories crashed into my skull like a freight train. This wasn't real life. This was "Celestial Blade Chronicles", the trashy webnovel I'd been binge-reading the night before I died.
And I wasn't just in the story.
I was Kael Vortheim. The side character. The stepping stone. The guy who gets cucked by protagonist Ezra Lightbringer, humiliated at every turn, and eventually killed during the Academy Grand Tournament at Chapter 50. "Lord Vortheim?" Luna the assassin maid sent by a rival family to kill me in my sleep.
She froze. The dagger gleamed faintly in the morning light, a sliver of silver poised above my throat. Then, in the blink of an eye, it was gone. slipped back into the folds of her uniform with inhuman speed. Her expression softened into a mask of perfect servitude.
Shit. She knows I saw.
If she thought I'd noticed the blade, the mission would turn from silent kill to cleanup job. I forced a yawn, stretching my arms as casually as I could, covering half my face with a lazy hand.
"Morning already?" My voice came out groggy, convincingly disoriented. "I had the strangest dream... something about falling through light."
She tilted her head, cautious. "You... remember your dreams, my lord?"
She was obviously trying to redirect my attention, keep me focused on her voice rather than where her hands had just been. And honestly, I was more than thankful for that. Anything that kept her from realizing I'd seen the dagger was a blessing.
"Barely," I muttered, dragging a hand down my face. "Feels like someone hammered my skull." I glanced at her through half-lidded eyes, careful not to linger on the spot where the dagger had vanished. "You were shouting just now. Bad morning?"
Her eyes flickered with uncertainty.
She bowed, smooth and professional. "My apologies, Lord Vortheim. I was merely concerned for your health."
He gave a curt nod, inclined his head slightly. "Leave. I have to change."
She bowed again, smooth and precise, retreating without a sound until the soft click of the door sealed the silence around me.
[SYSTEM INITIALIZATION COMPLETE]
[WELCOME, KAEL VORTHEIM]
[SSS-RANKED HAREM CONQUEROR SYSTEM ACTIVATED]
No. Fucking. Way.
Luna couldn't see it, her eyes were still tracking my face, not the glowing interface hanging in midair. Which meant this was real. This was actually happening.
A system. A goddamn harem system.
I nearly laughed out loud. The gods, or whoever was responsible for dumping me in this world, had given me the most overpowered cheat ability imaginable for someone who knew exactly how this story was supposed to play out.
But it never left my mouth. Because then, the next lines appeared
[CURRENT STATUS]
Name: Kael Vortheim
Age: 18
Rank: F
Magic Affinity: Ice (Dormant)
Conquest Points (CP): 0
Harem Members: 0
[PRIMARY MISSION]
Conquer your first harem member to unlock system features.
[WARNING]
Original fate: Death by protagonist Ezra Lightbringer at Chapter 50 (32 chapters remaining).
Current deviation from canon plot: 2%
[HINT]
The woman standing before you was sent to kill you. Subdue her, seduce her, or die trying.
My grin froze.
The words hung in the air like a noose.
Luna.
In the story, she never succeeded in her mission. Kael caught her sneaking in, panicked, and exposed her to the Lightbringer faction. Ezra spared her life, then took her into his growing harem.
That was her role. The assassin turned lover.
But hello? How the hell was I supposed to do that?
If I'd had even half the charm this system seemed to think I possessed, I wouldn't have died a virgin in my previous life, let alone been single enough to marathon webnovels until 3 a.m.
Now it wanted me to turn my killer into a lover?
Yeah. Sure. Easy.
I dragged a hand through my hair, staring at the floating interface until it flickered out.
A soft knock came from the door.
"Master," Luna's voice slipped through, low and careful. "Should I help you change?"
My pulse skipped.
The system's last line pulsed faintly in the corner of my vision—
[HINT TRIGGERED: Opportunity detected.]