"Fuck… no."
I jolted awake—again—from the same nightmare that had been strangling me for the last three weeks since her disappearance.
My body was drenched in sweat, lungs dragging for air, hands trembling uncontrollably.
My head throbbed with the violent beat of my own heart, like it was trying to break out of my skull.
With shaking fingers, I reached blindly for the small bottle of tablets on my bedside table—the ones for panic attacks.
I swallowed one dry, then fell back against the bed, staring at the ceiling, waiting for the storm in my chest to settle.
An hour passed before the fog in my brain finally began to clear, my pulse slowing to something almost human.
Three weeks.
Three fucking weeks.
I've turned into a walking disaster.
Everything around me is too controlled, too silent, too calculated.
And I hate it.
I know Chibi attends college… but she leaves before I can catch even a glimpse of her.
I know she has a phone… but I can't call her.
I know she's in touch with her family… telling them she's staying at a friend's house.
I can't approach them.
I can't tell them she's missing—they'd burn the city to the ground searching for her.
I'd be the first suspect.
I dragged a hand through my hair and tugged hard, frustration burning behind my eyes.
"This is torture…"
She's like a phantom now.
A shadow.
I know she exists.
I know she's somewhere close—somewhere in the same darkness I'm drowning in.
I can feel her, a whisper against my mind…
But I can't see her.
Can't touch her.
Can't hear her voice.
She's swallowed by this suffocating darkness that clings to me like a second skin.
I can't see—
Something clicked.
A mental snap.
A sharp, sudden shift in the fog.
Pieces that never matched before… aligned.
The puzzle—finally—
Complete.
I sat up abruptly, heart racing for a new reason.
"It was there the whole time," I whispered to myself.
"How the hell did I miss it?"