Zane had never been the kind of person to die in a flashy way. There was no heroic sacrifice, no dramatic last words, no epic battle against a villain. In fact, his death was so uneventful it might've been considered downright embarrassing.
It all started while he was in the bathroom, scrolling through his phone. He wasn't doing anything important, just wasting time, maybe looking at some memes or reading through a Reddit thread about conspiracy theories. The usual.
His heart suddenly skipped a beat.
'Oh hell no, not now...'
Zane's chest tightened. It wasn't like he had any major medical conditions; he hadn't felt this way before. But before he could make any sense of it, the pressure built, and with a soft thud, he slumped against the bathroom wall, his phone slipping from his hand and clattering onto the floor.
His vision blurred.
'What... is happening?'
The next thing he knew, it was over. No bright lights, no angels singing or anything like that. Just pure, simple nothing.
Then, an overwhelming wave of nothing started to feel like something. And before Zane could even process it, he found himself lying on his back, staring up at a clear blue sky.
"Where the fuck am I?" Zane groaned, sitting up and immediately regretting it. The grass beneath him was soft and green, and the air smelled... fresh. So fresh, it almost made him want to puke.
"Alright, this is... weird. Wasn't I just in my bathroom?" He rubbed his temples, feeling something was off.
He looked around. For miles, there was nothing but an endless field of grass. No city, no cars, no Wi-Fi.
"Did I die?" he thought, eyes wide with disbelief. "Wait, but how? Was I hit by a truck? Struck by lightning? No, I just... died."
Before he could spiral any further, he caught sight of something that made him pause.
A reflection.
It was in a small puddle of water nearby.
Zane stood up quickly, nearly tripping over himself. He leaned down, staring at the reflection that greeted him.
"Holy shit, is that me?" Zane blinked. Gone was his average, slightly overweight, slightly socially awkward self. In the reflection was a tall, ripped dude with broad shoulders, a chiseled jawline, and a look that screamed "I could easily beat your ass and still have time to flex in front of a mirror."
His hair was a dark black, styled messily in the way that made it seem like he spent hours getting it just right, but he didn't. His skin was tan and flawless, his muscles perfectly defined, and his face? 'Dear lord, did I just get reincarnated as a model?'
"God damn, I'm not chopped anymore!" Zane said, voice breaking the silence of the field. "I'm not ugly! I'm not a potato! Holy shit, I look like—"
He froze, eyes darting downward.
"Wait... hold up," Zane muttered to himself. "I've gotta check. I've gotta make sure... NO WAY."
Zane, in the middle of the grass field, opened his pants to check.
"HOLY FUCK IT'S BIG," he whispered to himself, "I'M NOT TINY ANYMORE. THANK YOU, GOD."
He nearly shouted in excitement, but before he could continue his victory lap, a loud ding echoed through his head.
[Ding! System has been connected to the host: Zane.]
Zane froze, staring into the distance like someone who'd just been slapped in the face. "System? What system? Is this some sort of weird joke?"
A mechanical voice, completely void of emotion, continued in his head.
[Welcome to the Bullshit OP System.]
Zane blinked, confused. "Bullshit OP System? What the hell kind of name is that?"
[Current World: Dragon Ball.]
[Timeline: One hour before the arrival of Vegeta and Nappa.]
Zane's jaw dropped. "The fuck? Dragon Ball? Dragon Ball? Are you seriously telling me I'm in the Dragon Ball universe right now? Oh, fuck no, I'm going to die. I'm going to get vaporized by Vegeta or Nappa in like five minutes! I just got reincarnated and I'm already going to—"
[Ding! Quest assigned to host.]
[Quest: Do 1 Push-Up.]
Zane blinked again. "Wait, what? One push-up? Are you serious? That's the quest? Okay, fine, I'll do one goddamn push-up."
He quickly dropped to the ground and pushed himself up. The action was so simple, it felt like a joke.
[Ding! Quest Complete.]
[Rewards:]
Mastered Super Saiyan.
Mastered Super Saiyan 2.
Mastered Super Saiyan 3.
Mastered Super Saiyan 4.
Mastered Super Saiyan God.
Mastered Super Saiyan Blue.
Master Super Saiyan Blue Evolved.
Ultra Instinct Sign (Mastered).
Mastered Ultra Instinct.
500 Billion Base Power Level.
Mastered Use of Ki.
Zane stood in stunned silence, his face palming himself in disbelief. "What the hell? All of that... from ONE push-up? You're telling me I've got all of that power? Why? What kind of OP nonsense is this?"
[Ding! Host is now equipped with the Bullshit OP System. Enjoy your stay, Zane.]
Zane took a deep breath. "I'm gonna have a lot of fun with this."