Loss.
That one word has defined the entirety of my life. I'd like to think that while i'm pretty antisocial, I cherish those close to me. Not everyone is able to keep those they cherish close to them though. So, now that I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I really wonder if there's anyone- anything worth living for still.
My name is Miyumi Satoshi. There's nothing really special about me that's worth talking about besides how unlucky I am. I guess I should mention that I live by myself and I've somehow managed to get a job at a bank that's now the reason for my imminent demise.
"HEY! PUT THE MONEY IN THE BAG WOMAN!"
What do I mean when I say that loss has defined my life?
The reason I live by myself now as a 22 year old woman is because my entire family is dead, or at least, all of my close relatives are dead.
My older sister was killed in an explosion after getting in a car crash. My older brother was drowned by a murderer who has yet to be caught. My mother died when a terrorist attack happened where she used to work.
"ARE YOU LISTENING?! I'LL SHOOT YOU IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME THE MONEY!"
My father, however, lived longer than anyone else. He made me think that it was finally over. That my pain was over and that I'd at least be able to keep one of my family members with me, but I was mistaken. He died on my 19th birthday after saving me from being pushed onto some train tracks, taking the hit from the train for me instead. I was attached the most to my Father after everything that had happened, so his death broke me for a while.
I won't say I haven't thought about suicide multiple times, but I always wished that it was me instead of my entire family. Why couldn't I have just been taken out first and spare them all from my curse? Even if I die now, it's too late to save any of them.
It's almost depressingly hysterical how fucked up my life has been up to this moment. I have no aspirations, no dreams, or goals. I'm just trying to make ends meet and live but I'm not even allowed to do that apparently. I just want to go to sleep now. So, I won't move like this man asks me. Once again, I'm the loser, but it'll be the last time I lose.
"YOU'RE ASKING FOR IT!"
BANG
. . . . . .
It was only dark for a few moments before light hit my eyes. I'm in a room, surrounded by… butlers and maids? Huh, I could've sworn I got shot like… not even a minute ago.
"You've successfully given birth to a healthy young girl, Mistress Sindri."
Someone gave birth? Well, I suppose I should give my congrats, but I'd appreciate being put down first. I'm a grown woman after all- …am I? My hands and feet are so tiny, and I'm being picked up easily… wait-
"My sweet Miravella. I'm sure she'll grow up to be as strong as her father."
I think I understand what happened now. The reason i'm being held by a beautiful silver haired woman… is because i'm a newborn child. Isn't this what happens in those mangas about reincarnation people like to read? I could only ever get into a select few of them.
I was shot… and reincarnated? Is this Kami giving me another chance? I mean, I appreciate it and all, but I don't really think I needed another chance. I would've liked to see my family in the afterlife, you know.
Then again, isn't this a once in a lifetime opportunity? I- I can try again… I can try again! I was cursed in my old life, but now, I have a chance to live a normal life! This beautiful woman, she's my mother right? Does that mean my name is Miravella? Miravella Sindri? That's a mouthful, but I'll accept whatever name I get if that means I can start over! I won't have to worry about my curse here!
That's how my new life as apart of the Sindri family officially started. My mother, who I learned is named Lumionora Sindri, is quite the compassionate woman actually. She's really kind and patient with me, plus she's pretty funny when she wants to be. I'm her only child, so that's probably why she wants to make sure i'm raised in a good environment.
As for my father, I don't exactly have one. I think it's Ironic that in my last life, I cherished my father the most, while here, I have no father. Apparently, he was a pretty important person that went off on his own to fight some huge monsters that threatened a lot of people, but that's as much about that as I know. He ended up dying, unfortunately, but apparently a relic of his was successfully recovered after the battle. I'm pretty proud to say that my father is technically a hero, even if I never knew him.
Speaking of adventuring, this world is pretty amazing. Swordsmanship is actually a huge part of this world's history! That, and magic exists here too! This world is way more interesting than my old world. I'm glad I was reborn.
There's just one thing I always end up thinking about. Anytime I go outside, i'm always told to never go too far from the mansion. Well, I guess I can understand why. We're surrounded by a forest on all sides so i'm sure they just don't want me getting lost. It just feels like there's more to it with how they warn me every single time.
Anyways though, I really think my curse is gone! It's been twelve years since I was born and not a single person has died! Seeing as my entire family died in under 12 years in my past life, this is definitely a good thing!
"Miss Miravella? Is everything alright? You're zoning out..."
Oh yeah, right now, i'm outside with a maid that belongs to our family. Her name's Livia and she was actually born around the same time as me, I think she's a little older though. Her mother's also a maid so she was essentially born into the line of work. I don't treat her like one though, we're more of best friends if anything! She just has a habit of being formal with me which i've been trying to get rid of recently.
"I'm okay, but Livia~ I told to just call me Mira. We've been together since birth so you don't have to always talk so formally."
She bowed apologetically which was only proving my point on what I meant about being formal. "Ah- I'm sorry! It's habit to call you that instead of Mira!"
"Don't worry about it, and you don't have to bow either. Whenever we're together, we're friends, okay?"
"Yea… thank you for being so kind to me, Mira." I refuse to be mean to, Livia. Not when she's always trying her best for me.
"Of course! I could never be mean to you. Let's go inside, I would've liked to do some sword practice today but it's getting hot outside."
"Of course, I don't want to be in the heat any longer either." Livia agreed with a nod and followed me inside the mansion.
I turned to Livia for a suggestion on where to go since It didn't matter to me where we went as long as she was with me for the time being. "Where do you wanna go Livia?"
She looked caught off guard to be given the lead but responded with an answer anyways. "Huh, where do I want to go? Umm, the library maybe? It's nice and quiet there, and you can practice your magic a little more like you've been wanting to."
"Good idea, let's go~!" I grabbed onto her hand and started pulling her with me as I ran to the library.
"Hey- wait! Mira, slow down!"
Can you tell I'm enjoying myself? I feel so at peace here, and now that i'm a child again, I want to actually enjoy myself instead of living through it depressed. My name isn't Miyumi Satoshi anymore. I don't want to live like her.
We got to the library pretty fast actually. Probably because we were running that isn't relevant.
"Did we …have to run?" Livia asked, slightly out of breath.
"No, …but I wanted to, so I did it." I responded, actually feeling a bit more tired than I thought I would've since we actually ran pretty far and fast.
While Livia's taking a moment to catch her breath, i'm gonna look at some of these books. A lot of them are about magic mastery and swordsmanship, which I've read who knows how many books on at this point while studying, but there's also the occasional interesting topic scattered in this place.
Let's see what I can find at the back of the library this time. This is where I usually find the more interesting books. Monster documentations, old wars, the outside world, there's books on basically everything here. I wanna find something interesting though, more interesting than any of those things.
"Is that one sticking out a little…?"
There's a book all the way on a bookshelf in the back corner of the library that's sticking out slightly. I actually almost didn't notice it because of how dark the corner is.
"Why is it- there's a notebook behind it… that's why it was sticking out." *I wonder if I'll regret looking into it later, but my curiosity's getting the better of me.
"A… diary?"
The first thing I saw when I opened the book was a diary entry. It's written by someone named …Albrecht. Albrecht… that name…
I hugged the diary to my chest and made my way back towards where Livia and I entered. She was aimlessly running her hand across the spines of books until I came into view.
"Oh, Mira, did you find something interesting to read? What's that notebook?"
"It's nothing, just old notes on monsters I thought I'd look at in my room." I want to read this. I have to read this. it's important that I do.
"Oh, should I come with you? We can look over them together if you want."
"That's okay. I'd rather be alone right now actually."
"Oh… I hope you find something interesting in there then." She seemed a little hurt when I said that and I definitely felt bad for rejecting her company, but this is a personal matter.
After saying goodbye to Livia for now, I immediately made my way towards my room, passing many servants who looked at me with confused expressions. This is probably the fastest I've ever gone from the library to my room to read something so its not like I don't understand why.
I closed the door behind me once I made it to my room and for the next three and a half hours, I read through what could only have been my father's diary. I know for certain this isn't the artifact that was recovered, so why did he leave his diary behind? Did he put it there and it was never found until I found it, or did someone else intentionally put his diary there to hide it?
The more I read, the less I understood my father. He seemed like such a confusing person to be around. His life sounds so interesting, yet at the same time, his head was all over the place. There was one thing that stayed consistent throughout all the diary entries I've read so far though and that's a figure named Malivoryx who's been with him since before he started writing his journal.
His descriptions of Malivoryx's behavior are vague, and he never goes into too much detail about him, but he's apparently always making rude comments towards my father and arguing with him. He doesn't sound like a person that's easy to agree with. Actually, Malivoryx doesn't sound like the name of a human at all so my confusion is only growing. It's too strange of a name to belong to a person, but my father constantly talked to him like they were close friends who were always at each other's throats…
I've finally made it to the last entry, the final entry before he died. This one was actually only two months before I was born it looks like. If I was a born a little earlier, maybe I could've actually seen what he looked like.
"I'm going to die in this next battle. I'm certain of that. I want to apologize to my wife, my friends, and my un-born child who I will never meet. I heard it'll be a girl according to the doctor. I wonder if Lumi will settle on the name I suggested, Miravella. Whatever name she settles on, i'm sure it'll be a beautiful one. Malivoryx keeps telling me i'm making a stupid decision by doing this and that I won't be known or renowned by anyone for my stupid sacrifice… and he's definitely right, but I want to guarantee a safe future for my precious family. I'm sure those snakes will be happy once i'm gone, but I trust Lumi to be just as much of a pain in their side as I was."
I don't know him. I never will get a chance to know him outside of these diary entries, so why does my heart feel so heavy despite having never seen him a day in my life?
"To whoever's reading this final entry, i'm sorry I can't be there to give you a proper goodbye. If its my wife, Lumi, reading this, i'm sorry i've left you alone for so long. You must be enduring so much pain now and i'm sorry i'm not there for you, but you have to be strong. And if the person reading this now somehow turns out to be my future daughter, then i'm so, so sorry I couldn't be there to see you grow up. I'm sure you've become just as beautiful as your mother and as strong as your old man at this point. I want you to know that no matter what, i'll be watching over you, proud of you no matter what."
. . . . . .
I couldn't stop myself from breaking down after reading the final entry. In a way, he's similar to my original father. They're both self sacrificing people who care about their families more than their lives. And now, I'm crying like how I did when my original father passed too.
Two voices came up to my door as I wailed. One was Livia, who was the first voice I heard approaching.
"Miss Miravella? What's wrong? You're-" She cut herself off as the door was opened by the other voice that'd come with her.
"Miravella?! Why are you crying! Please, tell me what's wrong, my sweet daughter. Everything's okay." My mother, who opened the door without any hesitation when she heard me crying, came over to my bed and proceeded to comfort me until I could speak.