Chapter 209: The Problem Girls' Problem Club
"...What kind of club should we make?"
Vigne's question hung in the air like a riddle no one wanted to solve. The classroom went silent, the sound of rustling papers and chattering students from the nearby hallway the only noise that filled the void.
It wasn't that they didn't want to answer—it was that they were all a bunch of hopeless slackers. Asking them to think seriously about something was like asking a fish to climb a tree.
In the end, it was Takanashi Rikka who spoke first.
"The Holy Adjuster talked to me about this yesterday." The ahoge girl looked much livelier after a full night's rest—the proof being that her signature strand of hair stood proudly upright once again. She spun her fingers in small circles near her chest and said, with all the gravitas she could muster, "We should form a club dedicated to searching for the truth behind dark powers and hidden magic! A gathering of chosen ones... The Wicked Eye Society!"
Vigne froze, blinking twice before a sweatdrop slid down her temple. "Denied," she said immediately, tone flat as a board.
Rikka deflated, clutching her notebook like a defeated sorceress. Her ahoge drooped in silent protest.
"I've got it!" Satania suddenly shouted, slamming her palm on the desk so hard the pencils rattled. Her crimson eyes gleamed with overconfidence. She threw her hand up dramatically. "We'll call it the Servants of the Great Demon Army! This will mark the first step toward my inevitable conquest of the world as the Great Demon Satania!"
Vigne didn't even hesitate. "Rejected again."
"Tch! You're all too afraid to accept greatness!" Satania declared proudly, folding her arms with an air of tragic nobility.
Gabriel, resting her chin on her palm, gave a lazy yawn. "If it's about forming a club, why not make one for gaming? The Gaming Club sounds just right to me."
"There's already a gaming club, though." Vigne's tone carried the fatigue of a babysitter managing five toddlers. "And besides, it's bad enough you spend all your time gaming at home. Can't you do something else at school?"
Gabriel gave an exaggerated groan, her entire body deflating. She sprawled over her desk like a dead fish. "Then I'll just nap instead. Problem solved."
Before anyone could respond, a cheerful voice chimed in from behind them.
"Then why not form a Napping Club instead?"
The group turned their heads in unison. Standing there, smiling like an angel who'd just descended from heaven, was Raphiel.
Vigne sighed deeply. "Raphiel... why are you even here? Class is about to start."
"But my classroom's just next door," Raphiel replied innocently, clasping her hands together. Her halo practically sparkled. "And forming a new club sounds so exciting—how could I not join in?"
"Even so, a club for napping is absolutely not getting approved!" Vigne said, pressing her fingers against her temples as if fighting a headache.
She exhaled and turned to Kouya, her tone resigned. "Kouya-kun, please, tell me you have something reasonable."
Kouya rubbed his chin, thinking for a moment. "How about a Coffee Club?"
It wasn't a random thought. He recalled what Shizuka had said the previous night—not to make anything too weird, because she'd never sign off on it. Theater Club, Literature Club, Flower Arrangement Club—they already existed. But a Coffee Club? That was safe. Simple. Elegant.
"Then Coffee Club it is..." Vigne said after a pause, nodding slowly. "Now the question is, what should we name it?"
The group collectively tilted their heads. Naming a club was like naming a child—it needed care, personality, maybe a bit of flair. Unfortunately, none of them had much of that at the moment.
Rikka was the first to break the silence again. She raised her finger like a scholar presenting a thesis. "Hmm... how about The Sorcerers of the Wicked Eye, or maybe the Eastern Mystic Society? Those both sound mysterious and cool!"
Vigne's eye twitched. "It's a coffee club, not a cult, Rikka! Why would you even—never mind, forget it."
"Then how about Cultivation Society?" Gabriel suggested, not even bothering to lift her head.
Vigne gave her a deadpan stare. "Yeah, no. None of us are joining your immortal grindathon."
Gabriel pouted. "Tch. If it's not for gaming or cultivation, what's even the point of forming a club?"
Satania slammed the table again, interrupting. "Because it's the foundation of my demon empire, obviously!"
"No one's joining your army!" everyone shouted at once.
After a full minute of noise, sighs, and bickering, Vigne raised her hands in defeat. "Fine. Coffee Club it is. It's plain, but it'll do. We don't need outsiders anyway."
"But don't you think that's a little boring?" Gabriel murmured from her corner.
The air went cold.
Vigne's smile froze, then twisted into something dark. She appeared behind Gabriel like a shadow from a horror movie, her eyes glowing faintly. "Then you come up with something better, you lazy angel."
Gabriel blinked, beads of sweat forming instantly. "O-okay, fine! Just... put the knife down first!"
...
And so, the members of the Coffee Club were decided: Kouya, Gabriel, Vigne, Satania, Rikka, and Raphiel.
It was a terrifying lineup. Aside from Rikka, not one of them could be described as normal. The so-called Coffee Club was nothing less than a chaotic gathering of problem children—a true Problem Girls Club.
Each girl, of course, had her own vision for what the club should be. Rikka wanted to draw elaborate magic circles across the floor and summon interdimensional beings. Gabriel planned to bring her laptop and camp in the corner gaming through lunch. Satania decided she'd use the clubroom as her personal nap space, even declaring she'd bring her own pillow and blanket next time.
Kouya could only sigh. Yep. This was exactly what Shizuka had been afraid of.
By lunchtime, the chaos had mellowed into mild hunger. Since Rikka still wasn't feeling her best, they all went to the cafeteria together.
When Kouya opened the bento that the shrine maiden had made for him, the table collectively gasped.
"Whoa! The Servant Officer's lunch is loaded!" Satania exclaimed, leaning forward until her nose was practically over the box.
And she wasn't exaggerating. The bento was a masterpiece—crispy golden tempura, rice balls shaped like little animals, fresh cherry tomatoes, vibrant greens, delicate slices of beef, and perfectly cooked shrimp. The aroma alone turned heads.
Vigne glanced at it once, froze, then quietly bit her lip. Without a word, she took out her own lunchbox... and slowly put it back.
Kouya caught the movement immediately. 'Yeah, right. That's the same bento box she'd used before. Why the sudden attitude change? Everything was fine five minutes ago!'
Before he could say more, Raphiel slid into the seat beside him with a sweet smile. "It looks delicious. Do you think I could have a bite too, Kouya-kun?"
The desks were close together—so close that their shoulders brushed as she leaned in. Kouya could feel the warmth radiating from her, the faint softness of her body through her uniform. A subtle, almost intoxicating floral scent filled the air.
It wasn't soap or perfume. It was something natural, unique to her.
Raphiel tilted her head teasingly. "What's wrong? Are you getting flustered?"
'Flustered, my ass.'
'We'll see who gets flustered in a minute.'
Since she didn't seem to care about the closeness, Kouya didn't back off either. He continued eating casually, though every small movement brought them into contact. Her sleeve brushed against his arm; their legs bumped under the table; even her hair grazed his shoulder once or twice.
After a while, Raphiel's cheeks turned faintly red. She started to get up, but Kouya caught her wrist. "We're not done eating. Where do you think you're going?"
Before she could answer, pain shot up his leg.
Someone had kicked him from under the table.
He froze, looked up slowly, and scanned the suspects.
Across from him sat Vigne, Gabriel, and Satania.
Satania was too busy devouring a rice ball, her face covered in grains of rice. That left two suspects.
His eyes narrowed between the fallen angel and the demon.
Gabriel glared back lazily. "What are you staring at? Stop giving me that gross look. I can't eat with you looking at me like that."
Vigne crossed her arms and said coldly, "Kouya-kun, eat your lunch quietly."
He grumbled and looked down at his tray again.
Another kick.
(╯‵□′）╯︵┻━┻!
'Which one of them was it this time!?'
'Were they trying to start a war? Because if so, game on!'
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