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Chapter 84 - CH84: I REFUSE TO DIE

Umbra and Aurora, galactic in size, war against one another in deep space.

We're like flies compared to them, little more than cosmic dust struggling in the shadow of the divine battle. Their arrival is a horrifying distraction to some, but a welcome sight to me. With attention divided, I begin the slaughter in the name of the Goddess of the Dark.

Between Umbra's lasting catalyst spell, my newfound penchant for dark magic, the hatred burning in my heart, and the Primarchs' divine power that I'm consuming, I have become this battlefield's reaper. And I exact my revenge against those who dared prevent Graves from helping me rescue Haunt.

As if they can sense my approach, the thirteen Blackthorns back off their targets as I approach and take over. By myself, I wage war against the dozen or more Primarchs, using Retribution as my meat shield and picking them off one by one. Every stab of my tail is another life stolen. Another pool of Aurora's divine power that I make mine. Another puppet to defend me and attack my targets.

Waning. Waxing. The Blackthorns move in.

Mere seconds later, we've cleared the immediate area.

Graves comes up from below to carry me on her back. "You've done it."

"Done what?" My voice is still in ethereal triplicate. Now protected, I spare a lapse in my attention to observe the gods in motion. Umbra is winning. "What have I done?"

"When you were made Wretched, Mother gave you enough power to snuff out the stars. It was dormant. Waiting. For you. To awaken your rose. You've done it. And so you are truly divine. Not a god, but a deity. The Goddess's shadow. Her avatar. Her incarnation. The Angel of the Dark. Or perhaps the Demon."

I do feel changed. In many ways. All for the better. My body feels lighter. Stronger. Swifter. Even without drawing upon these cadavers of mine, my electromancy runs smoother than ever, with a ferocity so intense it's unmatched. I feel alive. I feel strong. I feel divine.

"Demon," I echo thrice at once, watching Umbra's dark magic ensnare her sister. "Maybe even Devil."

"Then Devil it is. Mother will explain the rest after."

"Right. Time to clear the board. Let's end this."

"Agreed. We're with you. Twelve strong. Echo is taking Alabaster to safet–"

"Not a fucking chance!" Bast roars as she races past. "For Vander! For Plutoryl! For Haunt! For us all! I'll murder you fucking vermin like the rats you are!"

"You heard her." I take off after the Raging Blizzard.

The end comes swiftly upon my crimson wings. The enemy forces have been reduced to a fraction of their original might, and though we've taken heavy losses on our side, we maintain a strong advantage in numbers. Not that it matters. The rest of my army steps back as I arrive, and with Alabaster, the Blackthorns, my dozens of lifeless puppets, and my own power, we sweep through the remaining ranks with brutal efficiency.

The last kill belongs to Bast.

Her axetail buries into Primarch Exaltation's skull.

With that, she flares her wings and bellows a resounding roar. The infectious triumph of victory spreads across all the rest, creating another momentary chaos as the Wretched briefly celebrate the victory. Part of me wishes to do the same, but all that's on my mind are the losses we've taken. 

The losses that I've taken.

My friends. My companions. Vander. Plutoryl. Haunt. My home. My skyland. My pets. Slippy. My place in the clouds. My old life. The simplicity of my relaxing routines. The Goddess I used to have faith in. The peace I believed I had. The blissful ignorance I was living in. The world I thought I knew. The place in which I was raised, grew up in, and lived for over a century. 

Everything. The Heavens are gone. Gone to ashes.

And I'm the one who burned it to the ground.

Only now that it's over do I feel a sense of guilt.

Was this the right thing to do after all?

My attention is drawn to the ensuing battle beyond us all, so enormous in scale and scope that I can hardly fathom it. Aurora reaches and grasps one of Avi's moons in one hand before smashing it over Umbra's head, reducing it to chunks and fragments and dust. In response, Umbra takes another one and does the exact same thing, following up with a stab of her bladetail through her sister's ribs from below.

It's then that I notice.

She's calling my name.

In my mind, her voice beckons. "Crimson. My Crimson."

"I'm here. I'm listening. Is it time?"

"Yes, my beloved Devil of the Dark. It is time."

Turning my head, I draw Longevity in its gigantic form with my teeth, finding the blade nearly as long as I am. The smoky quartz catches the light from the Solaris looming before me. With it, I will bring an end to this. These thousands of years of strife and conflict, which I have lived under for my entire life, will be over. All it will take is one swipe of the sword whose blade knows no limit.

Beside me, Bast questions, "Are you going out there? To kill her? Cut her head off or something?"

I don't respond, leaving my puppets and cocoons behind as I kick off Graves' back and sprint forward. Clenching Longevity's hilt in my teeth, I fly faster than I ever have before. I'm flying towards a new day. A new way forth. A new means of living. A new home. New friends. New love. The Heavens were never the right place for me. I never did belong there. But I've found a place where I do. Despite all that I've lost, I know where I can rebuild. I know who I can rebuild with. I know who I can love and who will love me.

I've changed. We all have. But now I have the courage to grow. And just the right environment to grow into, without pause or concern or fear, without judgment, disdain, or malice, without prejudice, without deception, and without the cold antagonism of a system that wishes I never existed in the first place.

Thus always unto tyrants.

Umbra holds the enemy in place.

Vivid magic comes for me regardless. The white flame stabs at me. It burns me. It hurts me. Spears and arrows of white pierce holes through my body, storms of flame scorch and incinerate my wings all over again, and rushing explosive forces crash against me from left and right, trying to break my every bone as I fight to keep going.

"You cannot stop me," I snarl with livid fury, desperately holding on as I struggle forth. "You cannot stop me. This. Ends. Now."

Aurora is afraid. She's trying to break free.

Umbra is angry. She will not allow any mercy.

The fires are killing me. They hurt so much I can't breathe or see straight. I'm losing my momentum. Losing my resolve. Losing my conviction. That's the thing about pain. Everybody has their limit. I've been through so much suffering but I'm still weak. Every fiber of my being cries out to stop. Drop Longevity and flee the burning light. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts. I can't do this. I can't take another hit or I will crumble and I will fall. Then all of this will be for nothing.

I'm still so far away. Slowing down.

The fringes of my vision are closing in.

I'm seeing stars. Too many. I feel faint.

I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't.

The next shot of light magic hits my head.

I'm knocked adrift. My consciousness fades in and out. I can't move. My body hurts too much. I'm not even sure I can breathe. I don't know where I am. Or… How I got here. Flashes of light are bursting across my vision. Colors resplendent. Iridescent. Unreal. Hazy. Blurred together. My vision is swimming. My head is splitting open. It hurts.

It hurts.

It's over.

I'm done for.

I've failed.

A black mass sweeps over me.

Graves licks my wounds. "Speak. Whisper. Repeat."

I gaze up at her, barely alive.

"Darkness knows no end. I refuse to die."

What… What's happening? I don't…

"Say it." She bares her fangs and growls. "Say it."

"D–Dark–" I choke on my own blood, trying and failing to breathe. "Ah–Ahh… I can't…"

"You will. Say it. Darkness knows no end."

"Dark… Darkness… knows… no end…"

"I refuse to die."

"I–I… I…"

She swipes her claws across my face. "Wake up. Say it. I refuse to die."

I'm bleeding. It stings. It hurts. Everything hurts.

"Live, Devil. You have no other choice. Wake. Up."

My body is shaken, tossed around, cut some more.

"Say it, Crimson. Say the words. I refuse to die."

"I… I ref… I refuse… to… to die–"

A piercing pain shoots down my spine and every muscle contracts as the breath leaves my lungs. My own vines constrict and coil around me as roses bloom from my scorched and charred wounds. It hurts but only distantly, as if I've been numbed by some amount. A new breath enters me, one that is seeping with defiance.

"There." Graves stares down at me, slapping Longevity to my chest. "Your body is broken. No time to wait for it to heal. You are now your own puppet. Use yourself the way you used them. Go. Now. End this. Then you may rest."

"R–Right. Ah–Fuck! It hurts, it hurts, it hurts!"

"It does. It will. Are you going to let that stop you?"

I wheeze a few sharp breaths, then grit my teeth. "No."

"That's the fucking spirit!" Alabaster soars in and grabs me in her teeth, spinning wide to fucking launch me forward. "Kill that bitch for us, storm! We're all counting on you!"

The pain is blinding. Back breaking. Unbearable.

I have no choice but to bear it. There is no end without me.

My bones crunch and grind with every motion. My burned flesh screams in protest. My mind falters again and again, threatening to give out under the strain. Still, I fly forward, straight and true. I pick up speed with every bat of my wings, no longer capable of moving anywhere close to my best. It doesn't matter. I will get there. I have to. For her. For me. For everyone. For tomorrow.

Umbra grabs Aurora and keeps her pinned.

I painstakingly draw closer and closer.

Longevity is in my teeth.

The end is in sight.

I cut the sun in half. 

The Solaris splits in two.

Aurora's power is severed.

Umbra stabs her through the heart.

The divine war ends in silence.

And I allow myself to fade.

Death embraces me gently.

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