When those words were spoken, none of us moved from our positions or realized how close we were. I blushed, and she remained stoic and unreadable, but her eyes softened as if she sensed I was doing the same thing to her. I instantly backed away, sensing the tension from our surroundings, but stayed composed. But my wife did something I hadn't expected. Mirxalyn grabbed a wooden blade from Allison and Almira before looking at me with her usual cold facade. I sighed, but challenged.
"Train you? Sure." Mirxalyn started speaking, answering as she made a move before adding, "Stop? Never."
Then she was gone. She wasn't there, yet I felt her presence. When I moved to the side and raised my wooden sword, it met hers. The touch produced a loud impact that vibrated throughout the space. The bystanders gasped, terrified. But our combat didn't stop there; we kept going.
"Keep applying what you've been taught." Mirxalyn reminded me as she blocked my attempt before adding, "Don't just charge or calculate, it could backfire at you." I did what she had told me with precision and sharpness. If I dodged her attacks, she made sure there would be a follow-up, and when I attacked, she either blocked or dodged them. Then she praised and instructed me. "Good. Keep it up, but don't forget to make yourself unpredictable so your opponent won't know your plan."
Again, I sped up, but I kept my composure and precision. I ensured my movements weren't wasted and hit the mark with heaviness and power. Surely, she blocked those attempts she could, and the more our weapon met, the more it radiated around the space, pushing everyone in sight to the corner. It was an intense exchange of blows as my wife trained me, but fascinating.
But as I-we're having fun, I sensed something between us: tension. It was thicker, charged, and undeniably rooted deeply between us, making me alarmed with my emotions. It was spiking up, and my mind began to transmit images into my head. The words I'd heard earlier had been repeating themselves, tormenting me, until the ghost of the past appeared unexpectedly. I slightly flinched, feeling our mate bond overlapped with need, want, and particularly, fear, and Mirxalyn started to notice it through our fight.
Mirxalyn's softest voice cut the tension between us when she called my name. "Bernila?"
It was the softest voice I ever heard from her. It sounded like a sweet lullaby in a serene night by the shore. It cradled me by saying my name in that tone, and I was gone. The effect of our mate bond became worse, deeper, and it was scaring me now.
"I don't want to need you..." I whispered that only we would hear. I still swing my arm, not caring if Mirxalyn felt my fear through them. With a fragile, but steady tone, I continued, "...lately, when you're not around even for a while, I found my mood different. The same, but different." With one heavy blow, both our weapons were against each other, pulling us closer. Then I expressed what bothers my head, "Our mate bond grew deeper, and it scares me. I know we compromised and had a new rhythm, but there were times I'm still shaken with a fear of repeating my past, and I don't want it between us."
Mirxalyn had paused and stood still. She observed me intently, flexing her jaw as if I had removed my armor, showing my skin to her. Her silence conveyed many different messages, but I sensed her yearning to hold me, but not in front of everyone. She wanted to hold me as we do when we are alone, but she was holding back around everyone. I understand that. I truly get that, but with emotions haunted by the past, I realized my need for her security in front of everyone. But I know, I won't be able to get that - not yet, at least.
"Bernila, breathe." Mirxalyn's careful voice snapped me from worrying too much. I was confused because I was not holding my breath until it became short. My hand reached out, and in front of everyone, she pulled me closer, into her arms, whispering, "Beathe with me."
I tried to breathe, but I trembled, saying her name weakly, "M-Mirxa...I..." I tried to say something my words were caught between my throat and my lungs. Seeing me struggle, she clicked her tongue and carried me into her arms as if I weighed nothing. With intimidating confidence, we left my class as I apologized, "S-sorry...I'm s-sorry..."
"There's nothing to be sorry about." She said steadily, but the way she clenched her jaw, speeding up, I know she was worried. At the school garden, she let me rest beneath a willow tree, a wisteria. Then she gently said. "Rest here."
I closed my eyes, resting, allowing the cool breeze to touch my skin. But my tears began falling. "I thought I had it under control, but the mate bond is getting stronger to ignore…" I softly admitted, and Mirxalyn stayed, listening. "...I tried to keep it as it is, keep it between us. But Mirxa, should this be a secret?" I brought my knees closer to my chest, wiping away a few tears. My mind showed me my marriage with her, how we communicate, smile, and touch each other. But that combat with that classmate reminded me of the moment I got ruined by the wrong person. "You know my opponent earlier thought about tasting my lover, which made my sight go dark. I know I had the right to feel it; we're married, and I love you. But do I have the right to claim it when I'm all ruined and still keeping a secret from you? Do I even deserve this again? I can't, Mirxa...I won't be able to hold myself together if this, us, failed."
The silence between us stretched, and I couldn't bear to look at her. I maintained my position in the same spot. Then I heard her sigh heavily before speaking, "You're stupid for thinking that." It was painful, but I was more intrigued about what she meant, and then she added, "Our mate bond and us were never a secret. We don't need to scream it, shout, or showcase it for them to know we're together. Let them discover it, but this, us..." She pointed us, looking sternly, but softly at me, before continuing, "...we already had each other. You already had claimed me since you were five."
I narrowed my eyes, but she didn't continue. Instead, she smiled at me with assurance before kissing our wedding ring. It was sweet and calming, but her last words bugged me. Then I asked, "You're not going to clear that last part, are you?"
"No, not until you graduate from this school." She shook her head with her mischievous grin and stood up straight. I could feel her mood had shifted to her queen's side. "I should be going now. I still have to check the grounds and talk to my grandfather about your rank-up."
I frowned, asking, "Why?"
"You'll know soon." She winked at me, making me frown deeper.
I groaned, waving my hand, gesturing to her, "Can you stop being this...mysterious?"
"I'm a vampire." She grinned teasingly before winking, "It runs in my veins."
I rolled my eyes dismissively because our conversation was getting nowhere when her teasing mode was on. "Right, whatever."
"See you later, my love," Mirxaly whispered, and like a passing wind, she was gone. I sighed, leaving me resting beneath the wisteria tree.
***
I closed my eyes, centering myself once again. I let everything rush inside me from the past to what I am having now. It stung a pain in my chest, and I almost recoiled from it, but remembering the encouraging words from people who believed in me and those who gave me hope to stand again, I faced my inner storm. I let my mind analyze the positive ones from the negative ones and let my feelings entangle to reflect it correctly.
"I am changing, and I have accepted it," I muttered softly, reminding myself, grounding myself one more time from my overlapping emotions and rushing thoughts. "I have to hold it together and stick with it." I sighed, letting the breeze calm me more when I felt my Reaper's presence beside me. "Before I hated myself, Reaper, and I still do. I'm still disgusting omega from Moon's Gypsys pack." I sarcastically belittled myself, but Reaper's wing had slapped my arm. I frowned, giggling. "I know I'm changing, but at the back of my head, I still wonder if I could keep it up. You know, face what ruined me greatly and be loved right. I just..."
"Hm, you can."
I was startled by the steady but unfamiliar voice's answer. I guarded myself, searching where the voice came from, and when I did a roundhouse kick, a firm, but gentle hand stopped it.
"That was nice. Are you sure you're an omega? You had a gamma form based on your kick." He assessed coolly, making me glare.
I ignored what he was saying, but kept my guard up. "Can you let go of my leg now?" I asked sternly, making him look at his hand before releasing it apologetically. Then I asked, "Who are you?"
"Nobody?" He answered jokingly, making me glare. He chuckled sheepishly, but when he composed himself, I instantly felt that he was nobody. He's an alpha, and with a grand gesture of a respectful bow, he introduced himself, "I'm Jerome Marasigan, and you?"
In the presence of an alpha or anyone stronger than an omega, I should be cowering already, but it didn't happen. "Bernila," I replied cautiously, thinking carefully about where I heard his surname. It sounded familiar, and then, I guessed, "Are you the same Marasigan from Red Moon Pack?"
"Oh yeah, that's ours, and I'm soon-to-be alpha," Jerome replied, shrugging his shoulders like it was nothing new.
"A chill alpha," I commented on his relaxed aura.
He grinned smugly. "Everyone says that." I frowned at his arrogant facade before he added what he noticed, "As I was saying earlier, you don't smell like the omega they were taking pity on."
"I'm changing, I guess," I replied coldly before looking up to the tree.
"Hm, then it's good. You're in the right environment then." He said while stretching, making me nod gratefully when a young lady showed up, a vampire, looking for something or perhaps someone, until her eyes landed softly on him. "That's my mate and a teacher here. Cool, right?"
"Best wishes then." I greeted him with a faint smile before he walked away, but I'm confused when he stopped and gave me a hopeful look.
"You know, I had never seen the queen act like that to anyone but you." He said, grinning, and I glared at him, terrified. He shook his head before saying, "Don't look at me like that. It's not bad. But as a piece of advice from a werewolf like you," His smile became genuine as he ensured that his advice was heard. "No matter how painful you went through, there will be someone who'll dare to be there and still accept every bit of you."
I sighed, because I knew who he was referring to. Then I admitted, showing a little frustration in my tone. "But that person is being insufferable."
Jerome laughed. "Even if that person acts like that, ask yourself these questions: does she leave me during my weakest or does she only stay when I'm happy? Does she hurt me like what I've been through before?" He asked, giving me a checklist question to help me remember that my wife, Mirxalyn, is a different person from the one who had ruined me greatly. Then he added. "If it's a no, then look at her soul and maybe from there, you'll know how to face her equally without fearing the pain of yesterday."
I was taken aback, narrowing my eyes curiously at his wisdom, and I wondered, "How can you say those words?"