I was standing in middle of the road knowing the fact that
every road will lead me to her absence...
How foolish of me, that one mistake of mine will lead to
this destruction, now how will I be able to live with this guilt that I killed
her; AM I CAPABLE TO ACCEPT THIS GUILT OR TO BE MORE PRECISE – "CAN I LIVE
WITH THIS GUILT WHICH IS EATING ME FROM INSIDE"
I continued walking that I will see her presence just for
once even if it's for a minute or just for a second but I JUST WANT TO..
BUT, That day… even her shadow was gone.
I walked, and walked, and kept walking... as if distance
could silence the echo she left behind. But the silence was so loud, it felt
like my own body was screaming every
organ aching, every breath heavy, until I could almost vomit the pain I'd been
holding since the loss.
Why me? Why me… why always me? Is this God's revenge,
or the quiet curse of mistaking delusion for love?"
I can't ....
I can't now, I am just too tired to handle this weight alone.
Is it what I get to have this fucking superpower! Really , Why...
WHYYY!!!
Even if it's
for just one day, just for one hour or just for a minute. I want to close my
eyes and want to go to my closed ones and hug them as tightly as I can, so I
can never loose them again. PLEASE GOD!
Just, for one min I want to rest but
I forgot… I can't. I just can't. And I'm sorry, God, for
asking for something that was never meant to be mine..
But it wasn't always like this. There was a time when I
still believed in saving people even when I was the one falling apart. I
thought love could heal what strength couldn't. I thought holding on would make
me human.
Turns out, that was the beginning of the curse.
Because when you give too much of yourself, the line between
hero and fool starts to blur. And somewhere in that blur… I lost her, I lost
me.