I was always an average boy, but I had big dreams. Like an average boy, though, I was never able to achieve them—until death came. Well, nothing really changed, but it still felt like a disappointment. I thought I'd die by getting hit by a truck or something classic, like in an Isekai plot.
But nope. I died of a heart attack at thirty-five. Thirty-five! That's way too young for a heart attack. What a disappointment.
And now, here I am, floating in space. An empty, blank space. This space is so blank that even a blank sheet of paper looks cluttered compared to it. Wow. What a Brainrot.
I try to keep myself entertained. Not like I can move, though—I already tried. Got bored and tried to punch some air. Single-child boys will understand that.
'By the way, is a hole called a hole because it's a hole, or because nothing can fill the hole wholly? And who would win a chess match if one guy could read minds and the other could see the future?'
'And seriously… what if a zombie gets bitten by a vampire? Does the vampire turn into a zombie, or the zombie into a vampire? Or… do they just end up being… gay?'
"Stop it."
'Huh? Was that a noise? Noise, huh. So, is noise called noise because it makes noise, or because some people think certain noises are nice?'
"Fucking stop it, mortal," a deep voice said as a man appeared, and suddenly the blankness transformed into a shiny golden throne room.
'What the….' I thought
"You what the? I was taking a rest, but you have to float in my territory and disturb my sleep?"
'Sorry, but—I mean, it's not like I knew. There were no signboards. And… can you hear my thoughts?' I ask in my thoughts
His eyes twitched. "Well, I am a god. My powers are way beyond your understanding, you foolish mortal. You should bow before me."
I stared.
"What? Are you stunned by my godly charm? After all, you are just a mortal, born to bow before us Gods."
"Uh… who even are you?"
"I AM LOKI, the God of Mischief, you foolish mortal!"
"Oh, Loki, huh?" I said. And before I could even think anything—
"DON'T YOU DARE IMAGINE LADY LOKI. I FUCKING HATE MARVEL FOR THIS!" he shouted.
'I mean, Lady Loki is hot' I thought.
"Yeah, she… wait, no. She isn't. She's… something that shouldn't be. An abomination made by you foolish mortals and your foolish brain. She can't contain the glory and charm of a real God. Anyway, leave my place at once."
'I can't. I don't know how to. I can't even move my body.'
Loki laughed. "Obviously. How would a foolish mortal know even the basics in a God's realm?"
'You were the one who said I should leave. So it means that you didn't know that I can't move as well' I thought, making his face twitch again.
"Tsk," he spat. "Ok, mortal. You have some reason and humour. So, I, the great Loki, will give you a chance to live a life. And I promise on my honour, I won't rig the game."
He waved his hand. "It's simple. There will be some wheels. You spin them, and they decide what you get and your fate in another world."
'I read your life, mortal' Loki thought. 'I know how bad your luck is. Doing mischief without even trying—what's more fun than this? And this foolish mortal will also learn never to speak in front of a superior being like me.'
Suddenly, three massive wheels appeared in front of me, each etched with strange names.
"The first wheel is the world, mortal. The second is the character you will become in that world. The third is the system you will get. You can spin them with just a thought. Go ahead."
I focused on the wheels, willing them to spin. And spin they did—like carnival rides on steroids pumped in their back. You know where I mean
The first wheel, the world, whirled past names I recognized—and names I didn't. Pokémon, Power Rangers, Naruto… okay, normal enough. Then: Boku No Pico, Goblin Slayer, Magical Girl Something-or-Other. My eyebrows shot up. 'Some of these I'd rather not try to understand.'
The second wheel, my future self in that world, spun faster. Main Character of that world, Random Sidekick, Helpless Villager #7, Overpowered Vampire Loli. 'Why does Helpless Villager #7 seem to be connected with Goblin Slayer?'
The third wheel—the system—was a nightmare of acronyms. Dulex Log-in System, Ultimate Power Enhancer 3000, Totally Unfair Death Penalty System, Legal Loli System. 'Dulex Log-in System… nice. But what the heck is this Totally Unfair Death Penalty System—or this Legal Loli System?'
Okay, I thought. This isn't bad at all. Not bad. Let's hope for the best… and if something bad happens, it's definitely Loki's fault.
The wheels clicked into place, and I blinked at the results: Pokémon. Main Character—Ash Ketchum. Dulex Log-in System.
Oh, yes, baby. This is exactly what I'm talking about. Saying I'm happy or surprised would be an understatement—but Loki looks even more shocked than I am. In fact, it seems he's genuinely stunned.
Maybe he read about my notoriously awful luck back when I was alive. But my luck just changed at the perfect moment. Oh, how grateful I am to have such a normal character, world, and system compared to some of the other ridiculous options on the spin wheel.
"So, Loki… are you going to—"
Before I could finish, Loki spat, conjured a vacuum, and threw it at me. "Leave before I change my mood, mortal," he said. The vacuum sucked me in, and all the lights went out.
After an unknown amount of time, I felt myself covered in liquid and I felt a gentle beat above me, like a beating heart. The sound feel relaxing but I couldn't open my eyes, and I feel incredibly… tired…