The nanny van on the return trip was like a quiet space isolated from the world, driving smoothly on the Tokyo roads that were still busy with traffic at night.
"...Do you know Dazai Osamu-san?"
After Kato Megumi spoke this sentence, Michiya Gōshin was slightly stunned.
He adjusted his sitting posture, his gaze focusing on Kato Megumi's delicate, pretty face.
"Yes, I know him."
Dazai Osamu, a writer quite famous in the Japanese literary world, known for works such as No Longer Human and The Setting Sun.
His writing was filled with intense self-denial, a decadent aesthetic, and a frankness bordering on self-torment. To some extent, it was also a true portrayal of his own tortuous and chaotic life.
"Dazai Osamu-san's life had profound and tragic entanglements with many women," Kato Megumi spoke slowly, her voice soft and her tone level.
"First was the waitress at the Ginza cafe, Tanabe Atsumi. It is said that after meeting her, Dazai Osamu-san, who was only eighteen, felt despair towards reality and agreed to commit a lovers' suicide with her at the seaside of Koshigoe town in Kamakura. In the end, Dazai Osamu-san was rescued by fishermen, while Miss Tanabe unfortunately drowned. This incident left him with a heavy psychological shadow and legal disputes."
"Mm... that is indeed a very sad story."
Kato Megumi had read quite a few literary works, so she was very clear about Dazai Osamu's life. She continued speaking.
"After that, he lived with a geisha named Koyama Hatsuyo, but this relationship also ended in a breakup due to various reasons, accompanied by intense emotional fluctuations."
"Later on, Dazai Osamu-san met the teacher Ishihara Michiko through a matchmaker and married her. Madam Michiko was a traditional woman with a gentle personality who was good at managing the household. Their early married life was relatively stable, and Dazai Osamu also created relatively peaceful works like One Hundred Views of Mount Fuji during this period. This was perhaps one of the few 'normal' times in his life."
"However."
Kato Megumi stared at Michiya Gōshin's handsome face, her tone sinking slightly.
"The instability and self-destructive tendencies in Dazai Osamu-san's bones eventually gained the upper hand again. His mental state deteriorated day by day, and he became intimate with a female reader who worshipped him, Yamazaki Tomie. Finally, on June 13, 1948, they threw themselves into the Tamagawa Aqueduct in the western suburbs of Tokyo together."
"Yes, such an ending is indeed regrettable."
Michiya Gōshin knew this story, and his tone carried a trace of sighing.
"So, Kato, what are you trying to say by using Dazai Osamu-san's life as an example?"
Kato Megumi paused, then slowly explained.
"Dazai Osamu-san's life, to some extent, was complicated in the emotional world precisely because of his sensitivity that differed from ordinary people, his superb talent, and that self-loathing rooted deep in his soul alongside an extreme craving for pure affection."
She changed the subject, her tone remaining flat but carrying a strange penetrating power.
"And Michiya-san, in a sense, you are not an 'ordinary person' either."
"You... you aren't trying to say I have suicidal tendencies too, are you?"
Michiya Gōshin smiled, looking at her with some confusion, waiting for her further explanation.
"Of course not."
Kato Megumi shook her head gently, her voice sounding exceptionally clear inside the closed carriage.
"You possess an outstanding appearance sufficient to establish yourself in the entertainment industry, and you have amazing talent and potential on the path of an actor."
The short-haired girl paused and continued, "Moreover, you also possess talent in writing. Whether it is Love Letter or We Made a Beautiful Bouquet which is currently filming, this is already enough to prove your extraordinary nature."
"So?"
Michiya Gōshin was made even more confused by Kato Megumi's barrage of praise.
"Because of your excellence, encountering a lot of emotional admiration is a very normal thing."
Kato Megumi tilted her head slightly, as if observing the subtle changes in expression on his face. "And you yourself are a very gentle person, which is why you encounter trouble in terms of emotions and feel lost."
Listening to the words of the artist assistant who was with him from morning till night, Michiya Gōshin once again associated them with the sentence Kato Megumi had said at the very beginning: "You can even proceed according to your own preferences."
"From your perspective, even if you feel greedy, that isn't entirely unreasonable. It can even be said to be a 'happy problem'."
"..."
Michiya Gōshin fell silent. He completely hadn't expected Kato Megumi to say this.
Was she helping him absolve himself?
"Michiya-san, actually, you don't need to be under too much pressure. If you climb step by step in the correct direction, when you reach a certain sufficiently high status, many things—including external social evaluation and secular moral scrutiny—might not form such a great binding force and oppressive feeling on you as they do now."
"In terms of actors, those famous 'male actors' who truly stand at the top of the pyramid and can star in Taiga dramas are, to some extent, 'special cases' living under the spotlight."
Kato Megumi knew what Michiya Gōshin's worry was, so she spoke of judgments she could derive from her perspective.
"Even if they possess more complex private lives, as long as they grasp a crucial 'degree', do not let their private lives be excessively exposed to the public to consume the public's freshness and trust, and then consistently speak through rock-solid works and deeply moving characters, then some so-called 'romantic affairs' might be viewed as a 'privilege of genius'."
"This is even more so for literary authors. You have only published one Love Letter, yet you already possess a portion of solid supporters. They won't care how complex your private life is; they will only look forward to you producing more works that touch the heart."
Kato Megumi's voice was very soft, yet it knocked on Michiya Gōshin's heart with extreme precision.
"Of course, this isn't encouraging excellent actors to indulge themselves at will. Quite the opposite, people who do such things require an even more powerful heart instead."
Kato Megumi had heard many inside stories of the entertainment world from her aunt, Kato Arashi, so she knew more things than the actors did.
"Correspondingly, the other parties involved in the feelings are the key. Whether they can truly accept such a state, and whether they can understand and approve of this special emotional relationship, are the problems that must be solved."
In other words, there is no big problem if you want to stand on multiple boats at the same time; the key is to make the other parties willing and ensure it doesn't blow up.
"Michiya-san, compared to struggling over whether you are greedy, whether you can bear the responsibility and whether you can solve these problems are the things you truly need to think about."
After saying the last sentence, Kato Megumi looked calmly at the person before her.
As an artist assistant, she was very clear about how many girls' hearts were tied to Michiya Gōshin. Coupled with the fact that the entertainment world was inherently a place of singing orioles and dancing swallows, this situation would only increase.
And after listening to Kato Megumi's analysis, Michiya Gōshin slowly organized his thoughts.
The point did not lie in the moral label of whether he was "greedy," but in whether he himself could clearly recognize the complex situation he was currently in.
Why was there a need to force himself to make a choice so urgently?
Life is brief; ichigo ichie. Every meeting, every portion of sincere emotion is a unique, unrepeatable, and precious fate.
If he decided hastily because he was afraid of making mistakes or afraid of being accused of being "greedy," or if he missed truly important intentions because of hesitation, that would be the true regret.
The important thing was to recognize his own heart clearly, face all possibilities honestly, and respect every emotion with the most responsible attitude.
Thinking of this, he finally sorted out what he wanted.
Thus, Michiya Gōshin looked at Kato Megumi again, his gaze filled with gratitude and a brightness of sudden enlightenment.
That's right, I have a System.
Could it be that I can't even achieve a perfect ending?
"Kato, thank you for your guidance."
He paused, his tone becoming steady and powerful, as if he had unloaded a burden of a thousand pounds. "I know what to do!"
Kato Megumi only shook her head slightly at his so solemn and excited thanks, her face remaining with that soft expression as if nothing could cause ripples.
"It doesn't matter. I merely provided a direction of thinking based on the reality of the situation. As for exactly what to do, it still depends on your own decision, Michiya-san."
"Mm-hm, thank you, Kato."
"It's really good to have you by my side. You've helped me solve a lot of troubles."
Michiya Gōshin was truly very satisfied with this artist assistant of his, and the smile on his face became increasingly bright.
He did not notice the light that flashed past in Kato Megumi's eyes.
Kato Megumi... was naturally not a worker with no desires or demands.
She, likewise, had longings that belonged to herself.
***
The nanny van finally stopped smoothly downstairs at the high-end apartment building where Michiya Gōshin lived.
After saying goodbye to Kato Megumi, Michiya Gōshin walked into the elevator alone. The metal box ascended smoothly, taking him away from that space of discussion and thought just now.
Opening the apartment door, warm lights turned on automatically, dispelling the coldness and darkness of the room.
He placed the several portions of chocolate received today on the small round table—from Kato Megumi, Sakurajima Mai, Kurokawa Akane, and Asakura Toru. They lay there quietly, colors varying, styles distinct.
Of course, today was Valentine's Day. Some staff members of the crew and cooperating actresses had also sent chocolates to Michiya Gōshin, but those had been put away and did not appear here.
He took a hot shower, washing away the fatigue of the body and the repression brought by the set. Michiya Gōshin changed into comfortable loungewear and sat before the desk, casually flipping through tomorrow's work schedule and notes on the subsequent script of We Made a Beautiful Bouquet, attempting to let his overly active brain calm down gradually.
Just as the time approached eleven o'clock at night and he closed the script preparing to turn off the lights and rest, the doorbell rang abruptly, breaking the tranquility of the night.
Who would visit him at this point in time?
Michiya Gōshin frowned with some confusion. He walked to the entryway and looked out cautiously through the peephole.
Standing outside was Kasumigaoka Utaha, wearing a long black coat with high-grade texture, holding a seemingly rather thick kraft paper manuscript bag and an exquisite, small gift bag in her hands.
"?"
Michiya Gōshin was somewhat puzzled, but he still opened the door immediately. A wave of slightly cool night air flooded in with it.
"Good evening, Michiya-sensei. I hope I, this uninvited guest, did not disturb your sweet dreams."
Kasumigaoka Utaha's voice carried her characteristic magnetic intonation. Those beautiful eyes that seemed always able to gain insight into people's hearts flickered with a cunning and bright light.
"Not disturbing at all, please come in."
Michiya Gōshin turned sideways to let her in, even more curious about her intention in his heart.
Kasumigaoka Utaha stepped elegantly into the entryway, skillfully took off the black high heels of the same color scheme on her feet, and changed into the spare guest slippers.
Her gaze swept over the living room and quickly saw the chocolate gift boxes on the small round table that had different styles but were equally eye-catching.
"Eh? Only these few portions? It seems Michiya-sensei's interpersonal relationship handling is usually just average."
"Stop teasing me. Only these few are placed here separately; I put the others away."
Since becoming familiar with Kasumigaoka Utaha, Michiya Gōshin had long become accustomed to her teasing tone. She wasn't malicious, just liked using this method to open topics.
"Is that so? It seems these few portions are the real key."
Who was Kasumigaoka Utaha? She understood his meaning immediately.
Then, she shook that small gift bag in her hand. "Although it might not compare to the intentions of these ladies, according to social etiquette, this is my portion. Happy Valentine's Day, Michiya-sensei."
Kasumigaoka Utaha handed over that small gift bag. Her movements were natural and generous, without the slightest shyness or affectation.
Michiya Gōshin accepted this unexpected yet reasonable chocolate. "Thank you, Kasumigaoka-san. For spending money on me. I will return the gift properly on White Day."
His gaze immediately fell on that heavy-looking manuscript bag in her other hand, and he already had a guess in his heart.
"This is...?"
"Ah, this is the main purpose of my presumptuous visit tonight."
Kasumigaoka Utaha also handed over that thick kraft paper manuscript bag. The playful and teasing smile on her face restrained somewhat, replaced by a more serious and focused expression.
"After Michiya-sensei's guidance last time, these are the new volume chapters I just finished organizing. Please take a look at them."
"Okay."
Michiya Gōshin was not surprised by Kasumigaoka Utaha's request. Accepting that heavy manuscript which carried the other party's lifeblood and expectations, he could clearly feel its weight.
"If you don't mind, can I start reading now?"
"Okay."
Kasumigaoka Utaha walked to the comfortable sofa in the living room and sat down with an elegant posture, her slender legs crossing naturally.
"No matter where you read to, Michiya-sensei can offer opinions."
"Mm."
Michiya Gōshin took that heavy manuscript and sat down opposite Kasumigaoka Utaha. Under the bright and soft lights of the living room, he flipped open the first page and began to read seriously.
Kasumigaoka Utaha's writing style was as sharp and gorgeous as always, carrying her unique literary charm.
Time passed quietly, with only the rustling sound of turning pages.
Michiya Gōshin read very devotedly, while Kasumigaoka Utaha's gaze would occasionally land on Michiya Gōshin's serious profile immersed in the world of words, her eyes carrying a trace of imperceptible appreciation.
It was unknown how much time had passed. When the clock hands quietly slipped past midnight, Michiya Gōshin finally finished reading the last page and slowly closed the manuscript.
He closed his eyes, leaned back against the sofa backrest, and rubbed the bridge of his nose and the space between his eyebrows, which were somewhat sore from long-term focused reading.
Love Metronome was a very pure romantic light novel. The story started with the introverted, literature-loving Sayuka and Naoto getting to know each other due to a shared hobby of music.
However, the relationship between the two became complex due to the intervention of Sayuka's best friend, the cheerful and lively Ayano.
The core tension of the novel lay in the clever subversion of the concept of a "substitute." On the surface, Naoto seemed to treat Sayuka as a substitute for Ayano to confide his worries to, but the plot gradually revealed that what Naoto was truly attracted to deep inside was precisely Sayuka's unique and sensitive literary temperament and inner self. The story delicately portrayed the struggle of the three people in the vortex of friendship and love.
As a romance story, the entertainment value was sufficient, but the degree of attraction could only be said to be okay.
He looked at Kasumigaoka Utaha, who was patiently waiting for his final opinion. His eyes flickered with a strange and bright luster—it was the excitement and agitation unique to a creator when capturing precious inspiration sufficient to shake the soul.
After simply exchanging views on the manuscript, Michiya Gōshin suddenly associated it with another matter through the discussion with Kasumigaoka Utaha.
He raised his head, looking at Kasumigaoka Utaha with burning eyes, his tone carrying a kind of tentative inquiry.
"Kasumigaoka-san, I feel that your talent and ability to excavate emotional depth have already been demonstrated vividly in this light novel. However... besides this field of light novels full of vitality and imagination, have you ever considered attempting to create a traditional novel that leans more towards pure literature—or rather, has a style that is more quiet and introverted, with a theme pointing directly at universal emotions?"
This question was like a precise musical note, instantly plucking that heartstring dusted deep within Kasumigaoka Utaha's heart.
She was obviously stunned for a moment.
Her hand holding the tea cup paused slightly. In those beautiful eyes that always carried a bit of languor and playfulness, an extremely complex emotion swept past quickly.
There was reminiscence, a flash of gloom, the shock of an old dream being touched, and a trace of unwillingness that was almost hard to detect.
Although this subtle and rich change in expression was fleeting, it was keenly captured by Michiya Gōshin, who had been observing her.
"Eh..."
Kasumigaoka Utaha fell silent for a few seconds. When she spoke again, that habitual intonation seemed to have restrained somewhat, adding a trace of real emotion.
"Traditional novels?"
She gently put down the tea cup, her gaze seeming to drift to the distant past.
"Actually, my earliest idea was to write that kind of traditional romance novel that could profoundly depict human nature and carve out delicate emotions."
The girl's lips curled up into an arc carrying faint self-mockery. "It's just that my submissions were rejected repeatedly later, evaluated as 'too personalized', 'lacking commercial elements', and 'not conforming to current popular trends'. So I had no choice but to shift to the light novel field which is easier for the market to accept."
Her tone was very calm, but Michiya Gōshin could hear the helplessness polished by reality within it, as well as the tinder of the literary dream hidden deep in her heart that had never been completely extinguished.
The light of ambition that instantly ignited in the girl's eyes let Michiya Gōshin know her true creative origin.
After thinking for a moment, Michiya Gōshin decided to give her a hand.
He leaned his body slightly forward, his eyes bright and full of power, as if he wanted to transmit all the inspiration in his mind to her.
"Kasumigaoka-san, I completely understand your thoughts."
He paused, speaking clearly and forcefully. "I have a story idea here—a story of ultimate pure love regarding 'life and death', 'memory', and 'dying wishes' that I think is very suitable to be written with the brushstrokes of a traditional novel. I wonder if you are willing to listen to it?"
Kasumigaoka Utaha fiercely focused her gaze back on Michiya Gōshin's face. The surprise and curiosity in her eyes, along with that triggered creative tinder, instantly burned into a raging flame.
She didn't speak, but that gaze staring tightly at him already explained everything.
Michiya Gōshin no longer kept her in suspense. He began to recount the tale, clearly outlining the prototype of that story which had already taken shape in his mind.
"The name I've temporarily thought of for this story is—Crying Out Love, in the Center of the World."
________________________________________
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