Catching my boyfriend humping another girl on my bed was the last thing I wanted to see after a long, hellish Thursday at work. My blood boiled instantly, but beneath the anger was something heavier — the weight of the second query I'd gotten that day, and my boss's voice still echoing in my head:
"One more screw-up, Zelder, and you're out."
I stood there for a second, frozen, staring at the two of them tangled in my sheets like animals. Then it hit me all at once.
"Get the hell out of my house before I lose it!" I screamed, my voice shaking more from exhaustion than rage.
The truth? Max never really liked me. I knew that. I'd had to corner him into dating me — blackmail him, really — just to keep him around. I let him stay at my place rent-free, thinking maybe comfort could turn into affection. Maybe proximity could make him love me.
He worked the morning shift at a coffee shop and played bass in a punk band at night. The first time I saw him perform, he had that careless confidence — that type that made girls fall too fast. I guess I was one of them. We went home together that night, and I told myself it was love.
But deep down, I always knew there was no future with Max. That didn't stop me from giving him everything anyway — from bending over backward, and sometimes just bending over — hoping he'd stay a little longer.
When he got kicked out of his apartment, I offered him my place on one condition: he'd have to call me his girlfriend. He smirked and said yes. I should've known that smile wasn't love — it was convenience.
After few days of utter loneliness he didn't even call back to apologize or text me that he felt bad for what he did , I decided to text him myself .
It took me a week and a half to realize that Max ghosted me. In the meantime, I wore my band T-shirt he got me and refreshed his social media feeds looking for clues as to his whereabouts. When he posted a graphic for an upcoming Screaming Seals show—that's the name of his band—, I stupidly decided to attend, thinking that the mere sight of me would be enough to trigger arousal.
I put on my favorite little black dress, plucked from a closet full of little black dresses. I straightened my hair into submission and drew cat eyes with my eyeliner, thinking that it made me look a little punk. I invited my best friend, Destany, to attend the show with me and she arrived at my studio apartment with her boyfriend. "He's going to be the designated driver," she said apologetically, an admission that she knew his presence was crossing a line. It was just supposed to be the two of us that night, but the notion of the two of us was already starting to erode.
I was drunk by the time we arrived at the venue. The Screaming Seals were only one band in a set of many and I spent the minutes leading up to their performance grappling then I looked at My hair from the reflection on my phone, I realized, was stupid, my dress ill-fitting. By the time Max's band came on, I was falling- down drunk from attempts to regain my self-esteem. I spent their short set trying to make eye contact with him that I never caught. He appeared in the crowd after his set and I walked toward him, waiting for him to exclaim "You're here!" and embrace me, touched by my devotion. It was a shock when he wrapped his arms around the same girl I saw him with When they extricated themselves from the hug, I realized that I had met her before at a house party Max had thrown. Her name was Rebecca or Rachel and she had been friends with Max in college before he dropped out during his junior year because, as he said, "college was an inauthentic experience."They're just friends," I told Destany, not realizing that Destany had absconded to a dark corner to make out with her boyfriend."Hey!" I said as I approached Max.
It took his eyes a minute to focus, like he couldn't quite remember who I was.
"Oh, hey, zelder," he said finally. I tried to wrap my arms around him the way that Rebecca or Rachel had, but his body felt limp.
"You were so good!" I exclaimed.
"Thank you," he said with a grin.
I could already feel myself worming my way back into his heart. There was a plan all laid out in my head that included the two of us descending into a drunken stupor and inviting him back to my apartment. He would love me or at least like me when he saw me naked. We could eat breakfast together in the morning. I would spend the day hungover but happy because, momentarily, Max was within my grip. Only Max didn't want to descend into a drunken stupor. He resisted my suggestions to go to the bar and, worse, Rebecca or Rachel or whatever wouldn't leave the two of us alone.
"Didn't you guys like break up already ?" she said.
I wish max would support me and say "no we didn't" but Instead he said "babe I promise she's the one still obsessed with me " turning to Rebecca or Rachael
I felt so humiliated I wanted to slap him but instead I just stood still and watched both of them then Rebecca faces me
"He's done with you get a life"!
Before I could reply Destany tapped me on the shoulder before I could return the question.
"We're ready to go," she told me.
I didn't care what the two of them wanted to do. Meghan's boyfriend wasn't even supposed to come along and I was just about to tell her to leave me there, saying that I would get an Uber with Max, but before I could speak, Max said, "We're about to take off too."
I spent the car ride back to my apartment lamenting the word "we." "What did he mean by that?" I said. "He probably is giving her a ride home," Destany consoled me.
"Yes, but he also told her we've broken up" I say sighing
Destany left me and went with her boyfriend and I was all alone in my studio apartment crying and wondering why I'm so ill fated .