Chapter 64: The Toad Sage, Jiraiya, Arrives!
Naruto wandered listlessly down the street. It was already day four of his "wandering mission."
The street was bustling with people, vendors hawking dango, children laughing and playing, but Naruto couldn't muster even a shred of interest. Hands in his pockets, his eyes were dull as he stared straight ahead.
Just as he was trudging along, head down, a heavy hand slammed onto his shoulder. The force was enough to make him stumble, nearly planting his face in the dirt.
"Who's that?! Watch it!" Naruto rubbed his shoulder, spinning around to yell, only to find a large face thrust into his own. Spiky white hair, and a forehead protector with the kanji for "Oil."
"Yo, brat! Walking alone is boring. Come do some research with me!" Jiraiya grinned, showing two rows of white teeth, waving a notebook with a gaudy cover. "I'm brainstorming a new plot, and I need a lively young character for reference. You're perfect!"
Naruto looked at the notebook, instantly recalling the Make-Out Paradise cover he'd glimpsed before. His face flushed beet red. "P-Pervy Sage! You're doing that weird research again! I have a mission! I can't go with you!"
He tried to back away, but Jiraiya grabbed his wrist.
"Mission? What mission is more important than my research?" Jiraiya raised an eyebrow. "I watched you wandering around that corner for ages. Kicking rocks one minute, staring blankly at the ninja tool shop the next. That doesn't look like a mission to me. Are you slacking off?"
Naruto turned red with urgency. "I... I am on a mission! Grandpa Hokage assigned it to me personally! It's very important!"
"Shopping is important? That's a terrible excuse."
"Just come with me."
Jiraiya ignored his protests and hauled Naruto away.
Ten minutes later, the two of them were staring at each other inside a bathhouse.
Naruto stood at the entrance, frozen, staring at the steam-filled room.
His struggle on the street ten minutes ago felt like a lifetime away.
No matter how much he argued "mission important" or "can't leave," Jiraiya acted deaf, dragging him to Konoha's busiest public bathhouse under the pretext of "observing the relaxed state of a young boy while bathing to inject soul into the character."
"Pervy Sage! You're just being a pervert!" Naruto crossed his arms, his face crimson.
Jiraiya, however, looked completely righteous. Stripped down to a loincloth, he held his gaudy notebook, scribbling furiously. "What pervert? This is artistic research! Think about it: what expression does a young ninja, burdened with heavy responsibility, show when he relaxes? These authentic details bring a character to life!"
As he spoke, he leaned in toward Naruto. "Hurry up and strip. Don't waste time. I need to observe your movement entering the water."
Naruto clutched his collar tight, backing up until he hit the wooden locker door. His voice cracked with embarrassment. "Who... who would strip in front of you?! And you're definitely just peeking at the women's side!"
Jiraiya's pen paused. He cleared his throat nonchalantly, his eyes drifting toward the direction of faint female laughter in the mist. "Ahem. Well... comprehensive coverage, you know? A male character's emotional tension needs a female perspective for contrast."
"Liar!" Naruto kicked a wooden basin, sending it clattering against Jiraiya's foot.
Taking advantage of Jiraiya hopping on one foot, Naruto turned to flee, but found a wooden wedge jammed into the door gap, locking it tight.
"Earth Style: Swamp of the Underworld."
The floor beneath Naruto's feet suddenly turned into mud. In a blink, he sank to his knees.
He struggled to turn around. Jiraiya was already squatting at the edge of the mud pit. His notebook was now filled with sketches of swimsuits, labeled "Character Design Ver. 38."
"Pervy Sage, you bastard! I'm gonna..."
"Shh... listen." Jiraiya suddenly lowered his voice, pointing toward the women's bath.
Naruto instinctively held his breath. From the mist came a familiar voice complaining, "I'm out of shampoo."
"Granny... Tsunade?" Naruto's eyes went wide. He subconsciously tried to look toward the women's side, but Jiraiya slammed a hand onto his head.
"Don't look! Unless you want Tsunade to break your arm." Jiraiya's voice was a whisper, but his eyes were shining with excitement. He flipped to a fresh page, his pen scratching rapidly.
"I didn't expect to run into Tsunade here. Perfect chance to observe the lifestyle of a mature woman. Rare research material!" As he spoke, he scooched his butt closer to the dividing wall.
"Let me go! If Granny Tsunade finds us, she'll flatten us!"
"Panic not. We aren't peeking." Jiraiya tapped Naruto's head with his pen. "This is research. Research! It's art."
"You're totally peeking! Stop making excuses!" Naruto wanted to kick him, but his legs were stuck fast in the mud.
He could hear the water splashing on the women's side, and Tsunade chatting with other kunoichi. They talked about shampoo, recent missions, which dango shop had bad new flavors—ordinary, neighborly chatter. But to Jiraiya's ears, it was "precious research material."
Jiraiya's pen moved faster and faster. Occasionally, he'd nod and mutter, "Hmm, that complaining tone is very authentic. Fits Tsunade's character profile."
"The pause when mentioning the dango shop suggests a deep obsession with sweets. Noted." He was so engrossed he didn't even notice Naruto grinding his teeth. Only when he heard Tsunade getting out of the water did he snap out of it, quickly hiding his notebook and dragging Naruto toward the bath.
"Wait! I'm still stuck in the mud!" Naruto yelled, struggling.
Jiraiya stopped, looking down to realize Naruto was still half-buried.
"Oops. Forgot about that."
Jiraiya quickly formed a seal, canceling the Earth Style.
"Strange... I thought I heard..." Tsunade's suspicious gaze swept toward the men's side. "Whatever. Must be hearing things."
With that, Tsunade left the bath.
"Such a pity. I wanted to research a bit longer." Jiraiya shook his head regretfully, preparing to leave as well.
"Is it over?"
"What, you want to soak longer? Kids should train more, visit places like this less. Let's go."
Naruto followed him out. But just as they stepped out of the bathhouse entrance, a sandbag-sized fist came flying.
"JIRAIYAAAA—!"
Naruto leaned against the bathhouse door, watching the chaotic scene outside, and sighed helplessly. "Seriously... every time I'm with Pervy Sage, it ends like this."