Chapter 51: Jiraiya and Tsunade (Part 3)
"Mmm... smells like fried eggs..."
In his sleep, Jiraiya vaguely smelled the aroma of food.
"Is that you, Little Red? I remember your fried eggs were the best."
Tsunade, standing by the bed with a plate of freshly fried eggs, froze. The plate hit the nightstand with a clatter.
"Little... Red?"
Her eyes narrowed. She stared at Jiraiya, who was mumbling in his sleep on the floor, and her fist clenched.
Jiraiya smacked his lips, completely unaware of the impending danger. "More green onions... yeah, that's the stuff..."
"Jiraiya?" She leaned down, whispering in his ear, her other hand already gripping his ear. "Did your 'Little Red' put enough green onions in this time?"
"YEOUCH—!"
One minute later.
Jiraiya scrambled up from the floor, clutching his bright red ear, looking wronged.
Seeing Tsunade's furious face, he woke up instantly, screaming internally.
"Whoa, those eggs look delicious! Did you make them? As expected of Tsunade, even your fried eggs are top-tier!" Jiraiya rubbed his ear, desperately trying to change the subject.
"Delicious? Wouldn't they be better with a little more green onion?" Tsunade crossed her arms, looking down at him.
"Stop trying to change the subject. Who is Little Red? Explain yourself."
"I really don't know any Little Red! Maybe... maybe I heard someone say the name at the bar yesterday!"
"Someone? I didn't know people at the bar were talking about her." Tsunade glared.
Jiraiya swallowed hard. "Just... just a stranger! Some drunk guy was rambling, 'Little Red's eggs need more green onions to be good,' and I just happened to hear it! Who knew I'd say it in my sleep?!"
"Stranger?"
BAM!
"In your sleep?"
BAM!
"Little Red?"
BAM!
Ten minutes later.
"Say 'ahhh'."
"Is it good?"
"Mmm-hmm! Delicious! So delicious! Look at this egg, crispy on the outside, tender on the inside, just the right amount of oil. A hundred times better than any chef out there."
Jiraiya, now wrapped head-to-toe in bandages, sat at the table, enjoying Tsunade's "gentle" feeding service.
Tsunade looked at the mummy-like Jiraiya, only his eyes visible, and the corner of her mouth twitched upward. "Now you know how to compliment me? Where was that silver tongue when you were making up lies earlier?"
Jiraiya gave a sheepish laugh but didn't answer.
The more you say, the more you're wrong. This was a truth he had realized after countless beatings from Tsunade.
Especially now, wrapped up like this, barely able to lift his arm. If he slipped up and said "Little Red" or "Little Green" again, he might be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life.
He obediently opened his mouth for the next bite, chewing carefully, his eyes darting to gauge Tsunade's expression.
Seeing the murderous intent gone from her eyes, he thought he had safely passed this tribulation.
"Eat slowly. No one's going to steal it." Seeing him wolfing it down, Tsunade's tone softened. She reached out and wiped a bit of egg from the corner of his mouth. "I don't know who was wincing in pain a second ago, but you sure don't seem to have trouble eating."
"That's because your cooking is just that good, Tsunade," Jiraiya said quickly, going with the flow.
"Just hurry up and eat. Then get out."
Morning. The Gatekeeper Brothers began another simple, busy day.
"Watching the gate again. When can we get a transfer? I feel like my talents are being wasted here," Kotetsu Hagane complained as they walked. He'd been complaining non-stop since that day.
"It's not 'watching the gate,' it's Konoha's Entry and Exit Administration." Izumo Kamizuki explained patiently, even though his ears were calloused from hearing this.
"Entry and Exit Admin? Izumo, you really know how to..." Kotetsu scoffed at his partner's self-deception, but he stopped mid-sentence, grabbing Izumo and pulling him over.
"Hey! What are you doing?"
"Look... look... isn't that..." Kotetsu pointed at a "mummy" walking out of a house. Strangely, there was a red mark visible on the back of the mummy's neck, under the bandages.
"Lord Jiraiya?"
Although he was wrapped in bandages, the iconic white hair and the "Oil" kanji on his forehead protector were unmistakable.
Kotetsu rubbed his eyes vigorously. "It really is Lord Jiraiya! Why is he coming out of Lady Tsunade's house? And look at him, wrapped up like that... don't tell me..."
Izumo quickly covered his mouth, hissing, "Don't say it! Did you forget what we saw when we got off work yesterday?"
"Yesterday? I forgot." Kotetsu scratched his head, feigning ignorance.
"Yesterday, Lord Jiraiya carried a drunk Lady Tsunade home. You forgot?"
"Hehe, you said that. I don't know anything." Kotetsu took a half-step back.
Izumo punched him. "Since when were you this sneaky?"
"Ouch!" Kotetsu clutched his arm. "Didn't you say to forget everything we saw yesterday?"
"You... you..." Izumo was speechless.
Just then, Jiraiya glanced back. Kotetsu and Izumo shrieked silently and ducked behind a utility pole.
They looked at each other, barely daring to breathe.
Only when Jiraiya's back had disappeared down the street did they dare to poke their heads out.
"Hey, Izumo," Kotetsu whispered, pointing a trembling finger in the direction Jiraiya had gone. "Do you think... we just stumbled onto a massive secret?"
Izumo swallowed, his eyes darting around. "Secret? No, this is a prelude to disaster! If Lady Tsunade finds out we saw..."
He clutched his stomach, imagining Tsunade punching him into the stratosphere.
"But that mark on Lord Jiraiya's neck... it couldn't be a dog bite from training, right?" Kotetsu winked, then slapped his thigh. "I know! It must be from last night when Lady Tsunade was drunk..."
"Shut up!" Izumo grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and dragged him toward the guard post.
"A hickey! It's definitely a hickey!" Kotetsu struggled, determined to finish. "My cousin had one just like it on his wedding day!"
Meanwhile, Jiraiya rubbed the back of his neck, wincing. "Weird. Why does it hurt so much? Did I get injured there?"
He glanced back toward Tsunade's house, a smile tugging at his lips, before quickly putting on a serious face. "No, no. Gotta find Naruto and train. Hss... these bandages are tight."