"I'm sorry, but you're under-qualified for this job."
The holographic face of the Guild's HR-bot stared at Leo with indifference.
Leo blinked in disbelief. "Under-qualified?"
"Yes."
"For a janitor job?"
"Yes."
"In a Level 1 Slime Dungeon?"
"Yes. Have a great day."
The hologram disappeared, leaving only a thin rectangular glass slab on the ground that could easily fit in a person's hand. The room once again returned to silence.
Leo stared at the blank space where the hologram had been. "Under-qualified... to mop up slime waste...?"
He waved his hand lightly over the glass slab, and a holographic screen appeared in the air.
He stared at his bank account, which displayed a depressingly low balance on his holographic screen.
...............
Date: 3 November 2099
Credits Left: 2.17
...............
"If I skip breakfast, lunch and dinner, it should last a week," Leo sighed as he picked up the glass slab, keeping it in his pocket. He walked over to the window, trying to think of something.
Outside, a Giant holographic ad was hovering in the sky, displaying S-Rank Hero Blaze. It was probably the only ad that could be seen from all over the city.
Then again, it didn't seem out of place. Blaze was the strongest Hero of Earth after all. He was the one who represented Earth in the Galactic Council.
Leo, meanwhile, couldn't even afford food.
He had no powers. No magic. No psychic talent. No parents or inheritance. Even his intelligence could only be called average in this era.
In a galaxy filled with wizards, mech-pilots, and S-Rank Heroes, Leo was just a guy with a useless philosophy degree and a talent for... well, getting rejected from jobs he was under-qualified for.
He slumped against the cold wall, his gaze falling on the only thing he possessed which could help him feel full. It was a half-empty bottle of tap water and a single, almost withered lemon he had bought on sale last week.
"I don't even want to be a hero," he picked up the bottle. Even though it was a water bottle, he held it like it was alcohol that could erase some sadness. "I don't want to be rich. I just wish I had a safety net. Something so I don't... you know... die?"
"Why can't life be easier?" He raised the bottle and placed the opening on his lips.
It was at this, his absolute lowest point, that a cold mechanical voice echoed in his mind.
[Host's desperate desire for a safety net has been detected.]
Leo was taken aback. "Who's there?"
A semi-transparent blue screen, visible only to him, flickered to life in front of his face.
[Accidental Tycoon System Activating...]
[System specializes in loss-reimbursement]
[Core Rule: All capital lost by the Host through deliberate, failed investments will be reimbursed at 200% rate at the end of every month]
Leo stared, unblinking. He read the words once... twice... And even a third time just to be sure that he wasn't hallucinating from hunger.
"Loss reimbursement?" he said slowly. "Reimbursed at... 200%?"
He wasn't a genius. He wasn't a hero. He couldn't make money to save his life. But losing it? Wasn't that the easiest thing in life for someone like him?
[Warning: Any money you gain from the investments can only be used for future investments and not on yourself. So please strive hard to lose money instead!"
An almost maniacal grin spread across Leo's face. Losing money was the one thing he was exceptionally good at.
"Okay," His heartbeat became faster. "Okay, let's think. If I have 1000 credits and I invest in something stupid... and it fails..."
His eyes lit up.
"The company goes bankrupt, I lose 1000... and the system gives me 2000!"
Without even realising, he had started pacing back and forth across the room.
"Then I take that 2000, find an even dumber investment, and lose it all! The system gives me 4000! Then 8,000! Then 16000!"
This was it! This was the destiny he was born for! Was the universe finally taking pity on him? Did he finally get a golden finger? He wasn't meant to be a hero. He was meant to be the greatest failure in galactic history! And he didn't mind that in the least.
"But I only have 2.17 credits. They aren't even enough to invest. And even if I lose them, the gain would be too small. I need to lose more!"
He lived in a rental house, so he couldn't even sell it. He had to find something of his own. And there was only one thing that came to mind.
"No! Even if I die of hunger, I won't part with it." His eyes landed on his last valuable item but he quickly shook his head.
It was a vintage, physical, 2030s era 'Super-Station 7' game console. It could almost be called a family heirloom. It was easily worth 1000 credits in the collector market.
"No...I can't..." He turned his head away, feeling a heart wrenching pain.
Even when he didn't have anything to eat, he hadn't thought about selling it. But now, he felt like there were two creatures sitting on his shoulder.
On one shoulder, it was a little version of himself with a heavenly halo, saying, "Don't sell it. You won't be able to buy it again. It's not worth it. You can always start slow. You don't have to lose big at the start!"
On another shoulder, a little devilish Leo was dancing with a black trident in his hand. "Don't listen to him. Sell it! If you lose big, you gain big! That thing is useless anyways!'
"No, don't listen to the devil."
"Listen to me! You know you want to!"
Angel Leo and Devil Leo continued fighting each other, but at the end of the day, it was Leo's decision.
With a pale face, he made up his mind. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he hugged the game station tightly. "I will miss you. Don't worry, when I become rich, I will definitely get you back!"
"Isn't he being a little too emotional?" Meanwhile, Devil Leo placed his arms around little Angel Leo.
"Shut up." Leo waved his hand, and his mind cleared. Both the little devil and angel disappeared like the figment of imagination they were.
Leo marked the item for sale online. And within five minutes, it was sold. A person came to his door, and took the game system, and the credit transfer was completed.
...............
Date: 3 November 2099
Credits Left: 1009.17
...............
"Alright, System," he stood up, recovering unusually faster at the sight of his increased balance. It was the first time he had seen so much money in his account.
For an ordinary family, these credits were enough to last them for a few months easily. But now, he was planning to throw them away. And he didn't feel even the slightest pain. He only felt excitement.
"Let's go bankrupt!" He tossed his fist in the air with a cheer.
He spent the next hour on the galactic web. While most people searched for hot new startups or S-Rank-approved ventures, Leo was searching for certified scams and companies that were most likely to be buried tomorrow.
The problem? They were all too expensive to invest in. Even with his thousand credits, he couldn't even buy one share of them.
"Even the scams are so expensive to invest in. What about useful companies then?" The moment he looked at them, his jaws dropped.
"How am I supposed to fail if I can't even afford the entry fee for a bad investment?" he complained. "Does the poor not even have the right to be cheated now?"
With a disappointed sigh, he closed the session after four hours of search and failure. It only caused him to become thirsty instead.
He picked up the bottle of water to soak his dry throat, only to freeze when he noticed something. His gaze fell on lemon on his counter, before moving back to the bottle in his hand.
A new, even more brilliant idea struck him. An idea so terrible, so idiotic, so guaranteed-to-fail, it was... perfect!
Why find a scam when he could make one?
Thirty minutes and five hundred credits later, he had successfully created a shell company under his name. It was officially registered on the Galactic Portal.
Hundred credits more, and he had a sketchy looking company website that was created by the AI based on his description. The entire website carried a haunted theme, and there was only one product listed. It was Leo's Miraculous Lemon Elixir.
And under the description, there was only one line that Leo wrote himself.
''A magic potion that will definitely, probably, maybe cure... stuff.'
Just to waste money, he even trademarked the recipe, and name. For that, he spent another hundred credits more.
With a deep, satisfied breath, Leo opened his corporate investment panel. He invested two hundred credits in inventory, ordering lemons and water bottles.
He could use his own tap water, but why bother when you could waste more money? In any case, no one was going to buy it. The inventory would only rot, giving more loss.
It was financial suicide for others, but it was a masterpiece of a failure for him. It was an absolutely perfect plan.
...............
Date: 3 November 2099
Credits Left: 109.17
...............