"Damn it... damn it... damn it..."
The broom hit the stone step with a dull scrape.
"Five thirty in the morning. Five thirty! The sun isn't even up. It's probably still in bed! The sun has a better job than I do!"
Scrape. Scrape. Scrape.
Naruto swept the same dry leaf for the third time. He had been at this for thirty minutes. The steps of the main entrance to the Hokage Tower.
It was dark. It was cold.
Stupid old lady. Stupid Hiashi. Stupid scroll rat.
His stomach growled, a hollow, pitiful sound.
"And stupid hunger. How am I supposed to be 'mature' and 'responsible' on an empty stomach? It's impossible! It's... it's... unnatural!"
A Chunin, one of the gate guards yawning at his post, looked at him.
"Hey, brat."
Naruto looked up, frowning. "What?"
"You're sweeping the dust from one side to the other. Sweep down. Toward the street. Have you never swept before?"
"Of course I've swept!" Naruto snapped, leaning on the handle. "One time! Sakura chan made me! But this is different! This is... tactical sweeping! High level!"
The Chunin stared at him blankly. "Whatever. Just do it. The important people start arriving at six. And when you're done, the supply deliveries from the west gate need to be moved to the warehouse."
"I thought my job was in the basement with 'The Archivist!'"
"Your job," the guard said, reading a clipboard with boredom, "is 'Personal Assistant to the Hokage'. Which means you do everything nobody else wants to do. And right now, Shizune san doesn't want to move those boxes."
Naruto gripped the broom handle until his knuckles turned white.
"Great. Fantastic. Konoha's Jinchuriki... moving boxes? I should be...!"
"You should be what, Naruto?" the guard said, his voice tired. "Hurry up! You're supposed to finish the steps before the Jonin arrive for the seven o'clock meeting."
Naruto gritted his teeth. The horrible taste of yesterday's pill seemed to return to his mouth.
"Yeah, yeah. 'Sweep down'. Got it."
Scrape. Scrape. Scrape.
Stupid guard. Stupid job. Stupid fifty percent pay.
He thought about the apartment. Silent. Hinata had woken up when he left, startled by the alarm he had set. She had sat up in bed, watching him with those huge, scared eyes.
Great. Now I'm the guy who scares her in the morning. Hanabi will kill me.
Scrape. Scrape. Scrape.
"Hey, Naruto!"
He turned. Kiba was there, with Akamaru trotting beside him. He looked... awake. Energetic.
"What are you doing?"
"Training!" Naruto said, too quickly. "Resistance... training! With... a broom! It's... for staff balance! Very advanced!"
Kiba stared at him. Akamaru let out a whuff that sounded like a scoff.
"Dude. You're sweeping."
"It's training!"
Kiba wrinkled his nose, getting closer. "You smell... weird."
"Grandma Tsunade's soldier pill! It tastes like chalk and something rotten!"
"You're eating expired pills? Why?"
"It's... it's part of the training!" Naruto insisted. "Poison... resistance training! For... for missions!"
Kiba shook his head. "You're a weirdo, Naruto. Anyway. I've got a patrol mission. C Rank. With Shino! We'll be gone for three days! We're getting paid well!"
The word "paid" hit Naruto.
"Try... not to eat any more poison! See ya, 'married man!'"
Kiba left, whistling.
Naruto stood still.
A mission. C Rank. He's leaving... the village. And getting... paid.
He looked at his broom.
And I'm here. With the rat thing. And the dust. And no money.
Scrape. Scrape. Scrape.
This is hell.
It was nine in the morning.
Naruto was sitting on the last step, the one he had finally cleaned. His fifteen minute break.
He was eating an onigiri. It was small. And dry. And had no filling.
Shizune had given it to him as she passed, muttering something about "poor idiot" and "the Hokage's cruelty."
"Better than chalk," he muttered, chewing the hard rice. "Barely."
His stomach was still protesting.
He heard voices. Loud voices. From the entrance lobby.
"What do you mean 'wait'?"
Naruto looked up. The voice was female. And sharp. And... angry. Very angry.
"I have a scheduled appointment. I'm not going to stand here all day! I represent Sunagakure!"
Naruto jumped to his feet. He dropped the rest of his onigiri. The rice bounced on the stone step.
That voice.
He peeked through the main door.
The Chunin at the reception desk, the same one who had yelled at him this morning, looked stressed.
"I repeat, Temari san," the guard said, his voice tense. "Hokage sama is in a budget meeting. It's... complicated. You'll have to wait like everyone else. Please, take a seat."
"I'm not taking a seat!" she snapped. "I've been traveling for four days! Do you know how long it took me to get here? Gaara will be angry if I don't return with an answer!"
Naruto blinked.
Gaara? Why would Gaara be angry?
He walked closer, wiping the rice dust from his hands onto his dirty pants.
"Temari?"
The tall, blonde kunoichi spun around. Her hair, tied in its four signature pigtails, whipped around. The giant folded war fan on her back almost hit a passing ninja.
Her sharp green eyes looked him up and down.
They saw his dirty orange jacket. They saw the dust in his hair. They saw yesterday's sauce stain on his chin. They saw the broom leaning against the wall.
An eyebrow arched.
"Naruto Uzumaki?"
Her voice was filled with an almost insulting disbelief.
"Wow, look at you."
She took a step toward him, looking him over.
"I thought you'd be training to be Hokage. Or... you know, doing something important."
A biting smirk appeared on her face. "Not... cleaning the floors."
Naruto felt his face heat up. "Hey!"
He scratched the back of his neck. The usual gesture felt... embarrassed.
"A job is a job, you know! It's a 'responsible' job!"
"'Responsible?'" she repeated, skeptical.
"Yeah! And I'm helping Grandma Tsunade! I'm her... assistant! So...!"
"What are you doing here?" he interrupted, trying desperately to change the subject. "It's not Chunin Exam time! Or is it? I thought you already passed!"
"A long time ago," she said. The superior smile returned. She leaned on her closed fan, looking completely out of place and far more important than anyone else in the room. "I'm here as the Jonin representative from Suna."
"Jonin?"
"To oversee the planning for the new exams we're co hosting. Suna and Konoha. A... 'strategic alliance', or whatever the old folks call it."
Naruto processed the keyword. He forgot his embarrassment. He forgot the broom.
"Jonin?! You?! That's awesome, really! Congratulations, Temari!"
His excitement was genuine. The usual Naruto.
Temari looked surprised by his lack of jealousy. She had expected... something else.
"Someone has to take things seriously," she said, shrugging, regaining her composure. "Kankuro is also a Jonin. We have a lot more responsibilities now."
"Kankuro too? Wow! You guys... really...!"
He felt... a little dizzy. Jonin? Both of them? They're my age. How?
"Responsibilities?" he said, trying to sound casual. "What, did Gaara become an exam proctor or something too? Hahaha! I can't imagine Gaara in a budget meeting!"
Temari's smile vanished.
It faded completely.
Her expression turned... serious. Almost proud.
"Gaara isn't coming."
"Huh? Why not? Is he scared I'll punch him again?" Naruto joked, remembering Tsunade's office.
"He has more important things to do," she said.
"More important than his siblings? What's his deal? Has he gotten too good for you guys?"
Temari stared at him. Her green eyes locked onto his.
"Running the village, for example."
Naruto blinked. "What?"
"Gaara is the Fifth Kazekage."
Silence.
Naruto stood frozen.
The noise of the lobby seemed to fade. The ringing in his ears was loud.
Kazekage?
Gaara?
Naruto's hands, which had been gesturing, fell slowly to his sides.
His smile... didn't disappear. It froze. It stayed, strained, on his face.
He... he did it.
He achieved his dream. He became a Kage.
And I...
His gaze drifted to the broom leaning against the wall. He saw the dust on his dirty hands.
...I'm still here.
Sweeping.
The blow was deep.
Temari was watching him. She expected a tantrum. She expected him to scream "WHAT?! THAT'S NOT FAIR!".
But she got this.
This strange silence.
It intrigued her.
"What's wrong, Naruto?" she said. Her voice was harsh, as always. But there was a note of genuine curiosity. "Did you just realize the world kept moving?"
It was a challenge.
Naruto swallowed. The horrible taste of the pill seemed to return to his mouth with full force.
He looked up.
The smile he put on was different. It wasn't his usual goofy grin. It was... strained. Forced. But defiant.
"I haven't been left behind!"
His voice was a little louder than he intended.
"Oh no?"
"For your information, I achieved something incredible too!"
Temari crossed her arms. Her fan shifted slightly, tapping the floor with a rhythmic thump. "Oh yeah? What? Did you get a promotion to 'window cleaner'?"
Naruto took a deep breath, puffing out his chest with all the pride he could muster.
"I'm married!"
... ... ...
The reception guard choked, coughing on his own breath.
Temari stared at him.
She blinked. Once. Twice.
And then, she let out an unfiltered laugh that echoed through the lobby.
"BWAHAHAHA!"
"Don't laugh!" Naruto shouted, his face turning red with fury and embarrassment.
"Impossible!" she gasped, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. "You? Married? HA! Good one, Naruto!"
"It's not a joke!"
"Really? And to who? Who's the poor girl? Did you hypnotize her? Did you use a Transformation Jutsu on a log?"
"NO! And don't laugh! It's true!"
"Come on! Who? That Sakura girl who hits you all the time? No, not even she is that dumb!"
"IT'S NOT SAKURA CHAN!" Naruto yelled, fed up. "I married Hinata Hyuga!"
That stopped Temari's laughter.
Not completely. But it paused it. The laugh turned into a snort of disbelief.
The analyst in her activated.
"Hyuga?"
Her expression changed from mockery to pure skepticism.
"The Hyuga heiress?"
"Yeah! Her!"
"You... and her?"
"Yeah!"
"Seriously?"
"Yeah! Seriously!"
Temari studied him. Her face clearly said, "I don't believe a word you're saying".
"And how did that happen?" she asked, her voice analytical now. "What happened? Did you save her from a ninja? Did she hit her head? Was it... blackmail?"
Naruto got flustered. The real reason was an S Rank secret.
"Well...!"
"Well...?"
"We... we fell in love!" he blurted out. "Yeah! It was... it was... a whirlwind! Of... of romance! And... and...!"
"'Whirlwind of romance?'" Temari repeated, an eyebrow arched so high it nearly vanished into her hair.
"Yeah! And we decided we wanted to be together! Forever! And Grandma Tsunade gave us her blessing! So... there you go! Married! And responsible!"
Temari studied him for a long second.
She knew politics. She knew clans. She knew about the Hyuga.
And she knew Naruto's story was a lie.
"Uh huh."
"Uh huh?"
"'You 'fell in love'."
"Yeah!"
"Sure."
She decided not to press. Not for now. This was too amusing. This was information.
She shrugged. "Well, if it's true, congratulations, I guess, Naruto."
She clapped him on the shoulder, raising another cloud of dust.
"You never cease to amaze. Married to a Hyuga."
She smirked. "What a weird world."
"Yeah! Well...!" Naruto composed himself. "You said you were looking for Grandma Tsunade, right? And the guard is giving you trouble!"
"That idiot..." Temari started, turning back to the Chunin.
"Come on, I'll take you! I know the way! I'm the... assistant!"
Naruto took the lead. He walked past her with new confidence.
"Hey, idiot!" he said to the Chunin at the desk.
The Chunin looked at him, annoyed. "What, brat? You finished with the boxes?"
"No! But the guest from Suna is with me! I'm taking her to the Hokage's office! Hokage's orders! Kazekage business! So...!"
Naruto made a "get out of my way" gesture.
The guard, hearing "Kazekage", turned pale and scrambled away from the desk. "Y-yes! Go right ahead, please! Temari sama!"
Temari smirked. "Not bad, 'married man'. Not bad."
Naruto grinned back. "Told you! Responsible!"
They went up the stairs. Naruto was two steps ahead.
"So... Jonin, huh?" Naruto said, trying to keep the conversation going. "Does that mean you get... cool missions? And... money?"
"It means I have paperwork," Temari said, her voice echoing in the stairwell. "Mountains of paperwork. Gaara hates paperwork. So I do it. And Kankuro does it. It's a drag."
"Hey! I do paperwork too!" Naruto said. "Well, I file it! In a basement! With a rat thing!"
"Charming."
They reached the office door.
Naruto knocked on the door extremely hard.
"GRANDMA! SHE'S HERE! THE FAN GIRL!"
"NARUTO, KNOCK LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, NOT A WILD BOAR!" Tsunade's voice roared from inside. "AND GET IN HERE ALREADY!"
Naruto grinned at Temari. "See. We're close."
He opened the door.
Tsunade was behind a new desk. It looked exactly like the one she had broken. It was covered in stacks of paper.
She looked up. She saw Naruto. Her brow furrowed.
"Naruto. Shouldn't you be... sweeping something?"
She saw Temari behind him. Her expression softened. A little.
"Ah. Temari san. Right on time. Shizune is getting the tea."
"I found her downstairs!" Naruto said cheerfully. "The guard wouldn't let her pass! But I fixed it! Because I'm the...!"
"Go back to work, Naruto!" Tsunade said. "And tell Shizune to bring that bottle from Suna she hid!"
"Got it!" Naruto said. "Well, I'll leave you to it. Jonin business!"
He turned to Temari. "See ya, Temari! Congrats on the Jonin thing! And say hi to Gaara for me! Tell him congratulations!"
Temari looked at him. The mockery was gone from her face.
"I'll pass it on, 'married man'."
She gave him a half smile. "Try not to fall too far behind."
Naruto smiled. "Never."
He walked out into the hall, feeling... strangely good.
He closed the door.
And ran right into someone.
"Oof!"
"Ah... what a drag. Naruto."
Naruto looked up. Shikamaru was there, hands in his pockets, looking incredibly tired.
"Shikamaru! You're just in time!"
"Time for what? It's my lunch break."
"Your troublesome friend just got here! The one from Suna!"
Shikamaru lifted his head. He let out a long, tired sigh.
"She's here already? Man. What a troublesome woman. She's always early."
"And what are you doing here?"
"Unfortunately, I'm the Chunin liaison for the exam logistics."
"Wow! Chunin liaison! That's...!"
"It's paperwork," Shikamaru cut him off. "It's a drag. Which means... I have to be her babysitter."
Shikamaru yawned. "Oh well. It's what I get paid for. I guess."
He pushed open the Hokage's office door without knocking.
"SHIKAMARU! YOU TOO, KNOCK!" Tsunade's voice roared.
"Yeah, yeah... what a drag..."
The door closed.
Naruto was left alone in the hallway.
The adrenaline rush from seeing Temari and "fixing" the guard faded.
His smile disappeared.
He stood still, staring at the closed door.
Jonin. Chunin liaison. Kazekage.
He clenched his fists. The dry dust crunched in his palms.
"'I haven't been left behind," he whispered to the empty hallway. "I'm... married."
He turned and walked down the stairs.
He had boxes to move.