Jay stumbled forward, coughing as dust and dry wind battered him. The canyon stretched in all directions, harsh and unforgiving. He blinked, rubbing his head, muttering, "Fantastic. Dead via blender malfunction and somehow picked out of pity and amusement. Yep, that's my life now." He took a tentative step, testing the rocky ground beneath his boots, and grumbled, "Not the most elegant start to a day, but I guess it'll do." Every stone and crack seemed sharper, more unforgiving than any canyon he'd ever seen, and the wind carried a dry, metallic tang that made his nose wrinkle.
By late afternoon, he found a cavern hidden behind jagged rocks, yawning like a beast's mouth. He squinted at it. "Of course there's a cave. Why would anything be simple?" Jay stepped inside cautiously, the temperature dropping instantly. The air smelled faintly of damp stone and something else, something ancient. Stalactites dripped water, moss glowed faintly, and multiple tunnels split off. He crouched slightly, touching the walls as he moved. "Left, right… straight. Left's creepy, right's narrower than my patience, straight's too easy. Let's gamble," he muttered, his voice echoing back at him. Each step sent small rocks skittering across the floor, the sound sharp in the cavern's stillness.
The left tunnel twisted downward, water trickled along the floor, and strange symbols etched themselves into the stone walls, catching the dim light. Jay muttered constantly to himself. "You're fine, mostly. Totally fine. The carvings? Just some ancient humans wrestling monsters on walls. Decoration. Sure. Nothing creepy about that." He paused to trace a symbol with a finger, marveling briefly at the craftsmanship before moving on. "Yeah, okay, still fine. Don't look for ghosts." He imagined all sorts of scenarios in which he would trip or trigger some trap, mumbling each hypothetical to himself in a running monologue that kept his nerves slightly at bay.
Hours passed. The hum of the cavern seemed to grow louder, vibrating through the stone and settling in Jay's chest. He froze, his hand instinctively hovering over an imaginary weapon. "Uh… ominous hum. Nothing to panic about. Just… don't touch anything. Yep, that's a plan." He tried to recall anything from his past experiences that could prepare him for this, but nothing seemed relevant.
A shadow moved, and a tall cloaked humanoid figure emerged, limbs elongated, eyes glowing with intelligence. Jay gulped. "Yep, normal. Not a death-dealer. Definitely not. Or maybe it's just here to admire my charming presence." He shuffled forward, trying not to trip over the uneven floor, mumbling encouragement to himself with a grin. "You can do this, Jay. Just don't die. Again."
The figure gestured toward a small bag on a pedestal, next to it a Jakobs revolver lying in wait, and a USB. Jay approached cautiously, squinting. "Gift shop for ancient mysteries? Totally not cursed. No pressure." He crouched slightly, picking up the note from inside the bag. The note explained his selection—picked out of pity and amusement—and outlined his abilities along with vague instructions for survival. Jay tilted his head, muttering, "Great. Powers from dying, guidance from a note. Makes total sense." He flipped the note over a few times, rereading parts, imagining how absurd this had just become.
With a deep breath, he slid the USB into a reader embedded in the bag. Cortana materialized holographically, calm but clearly disoriented.
"Uh… hello? I… I don't know where we are. Or when. My systems seem… functional, but everything else is… different. I'll do my best to assist, I think?"
Jay raised an eyebrow. "Uh-huh. That's… comforting, somehow." He muttered under his breath, "Yeah, totally normal. Talking AI that doesn't know anything. Perfect." He paced a small circle, thinking aloud. "Okay… we've got powers, a revolver, some note from some ROB guy, and a talking AI. Yep. Nothing can go wrong here. Absolutely nothing."
Energy hummed through him, tingling in his veins. Jay instinctively tested the Ruin Engine Interface, absorbing a chunk of stone and molding it briefly before ejecting it. A small flame danced across his palm; he activated Blink, launching himself forward—but misjudged the distance and collided harshly into the stone wall at the far end, scraping his shoulder. Jay groaned, rubbing it and laughing nervously. "Okay… okay, I can deal with this. Mostly. This isn't terrifying at all." He muttered to himself, dreading the awkward practice sessions and clumsy trial-and-error with his powers, which will most likely leave him bruised and scraped more often than graceful.
He reached for the Jakobs revolver, and upon testing it, realized it fired only in burst mode. Jay's expression twisted in disgust. "What the actual hell? Burst fire? Who even designed the revolver this way? Absolutely disgusting." He experimented with a few short bursts, trying not to tear the canyon apart. "Fine. Fine, I'll make it work… somehow. Ugh." He noticed the engraved Jakobs logo on the side. Something clicked in his mind—the unique combination of this burst-only revolver and the device next to the bag made him realize he was in the Borderlands universe. But the timeline? That part was still a complete mystery.
He plugged the USB into the device next to the bag. The device's holographic screen flickered to life, allowing Cortana to be heard clearly, albeit with a slight delay.
"Jay… testing… testing… do you copy?" she asked.
"Can you hear me clearly?" she continued, uncertain.
"I… think so. Yes, okay. Moving forward," she added, hesitating with each phrase.
Jay smirked, muttering to himself, "Yeah, talking AI. That'll definitely help with everything else." He poked at the device, testing its holographic readouts and joking with himself about how he'd never seen tech this old yet still functional. The humanoid behind him hummed approval, still silent and imposing. Jay tucked the ECHO device, note, and revolver into his pack, securing the bag. "Yeah, perfect. Me, Ruin Engine, Blink, crafting, cooking, confused AI, and a disgusting burst revolver stuck in a shithole that is Pandora. What could possibly go wrong?"
Emerging from the cavern, the sun hung low in the sky, casting elongated shadows across the canyon floor. Dust swirled around him, and distant figures moved—friend, foe, unknown. Jay checked his revolver one last time, muttering, "Alright, Jay. Step forward. Into the unknown. Again. Don't die. Or do, I guess, but maybe less messily this time. Preferably less messily."
Powers humming, Jakobs ready (with all the issues that entails), USB and ROB's note secured, he ventured deeper into the dusty wasteland. He paused to glance at the cave but it had vanished. Jay muttered, "Yeah, alright. Here goes nothing." The wind blew around him, carrying a hint of ash and blood as he moved forward. He commented to himself on the silence and emptiness, imagining the dangers that might be lurking just beyond sight, feeling the tension coil in his stomach and the thrill of possibility in his chest.