I'm sitting in front of a man at a desk. I look around and see that the desk is sitting alone in a spotlight surrounded by darkness. The man is wearing a fine suit, the kind those rich people wear as they walk past me while I beg for change on the street. The kind that the people who were never hungry in their lives wore.
"Hello," the man said calmly.
"Hi…" I reply.
I have no idea where I am…
"What do you last remember?" the man asked.
"I was sleeping… it was cold, so cold I thought I was going to die…" I reply.
"Well, you did, I'm afraid…" the man said with a sigh.
"What?" I asked in shock.
"Yes, you are dead, I'm afraid. I apologise for all the grievances in your past life. Many of the worlds are in a sorry state at the moment. The backlog of reincarnations we have to process is quite significant. We simply don't have the resources to maintain a suitable quality of life for all the souls under our care," the man said, looking quite defeated.
"So… what happens now? Do I go to heaven?" I ask, slightly hopeful at the idea.
Finally I won't have to be so hungry that my stomach feels like just a dull ache in my belly. I won't have to worry about freezing to death in the winter, getting robbed, getting stabbed…
"Unfortunately, the Christians got it wrong, my dear boy. There is no heaven. Although I am quite sure you aren't that familiar with the various religious beliefs of the world, seeing as you were… twelve years old when you expired," the man said as he looked down at a file in his hand.
"Expired? Like food becoming expired?" I ask.
"When you died, my dear boy. The Buddhists got it right actually… or at least they were the closest… does the word reincarnation ring any bells?" the man asked.
"Err, it means we get reborn into another… life…" I say as I feel my heart drop. I may have to suffer through all that I went through all over again…
"Well, if you are worrying that you'll end up in your past life's circumstances, don't worry. Your age at the time of your death, plus the pain and suffering you suffered, makes you eligible for one of our compensation packages..." the man said as he reached under his desk and pulled out a thick file.
"So according to this, you are eligible for the highest grade of compensation which entitles you to… keeping your memories if you so desire, a class A1 power level body and a Section B3 three-question preference assessment by the assessing executive. That's me, by the way. So yeah… your next life will be pretty good relative to your previous one," the man said as he read off a page in the file.
"Oh so I can be born rich?" I asked, perking up at those words.
"Well, you could technically, but that would be taking a worse deal honestly. Your entitlements from this compensation package afford you a higher existence than the kind that would require currency to obtain what you desire," the man replied.
"Oh… so I won't be human?" I ask.
"Well, you can be, but we can offer you something better. In truth not many souls get this package — you only got this because your past two lives were terrible. You see, if someone lives to between age 10 to 15 and suffers through most of it in three separate lives, only then would you be eligible for this package. Furthermore, packages only apply on the third life onwards, so… yeah, you got really unlucky three times in a row…" the man said with a sigh.
"Oh…" I reply, at a loss of what to say.
"Ok, basically, I'll ask you three questions and I will decide what your next life will be. You will be powerful enough to make your life whatever you want within your existence. Plus you can keep your memories if you want. So shall I begin asking the questions?" the man said as he put the file away and pulled out a pen and paper.
"Ok…" I reply hesitantly.
"What is your favorite thing to do?" the man asked.
"Eat," I replied, thinking of that time a nice woman bought me a slice of pizza.
"Ok… consuming sustenance… what would you say is your strategy when you encounter problems in life?" the man asked.
"Erm, well I just try to adjust to the situation and hopefully it doesn't kill me," I reply, thinking of all the times I had to think of strange and odd solutions to my problems.
"Ok… adaptive… then what would you say is your greatest strength?" the man asked.
"I don't like to run from my problems because they always find you eventually — best to solve them as soon as possible… even if sometimes that takes a long time…" I reply.
"Ok… tries to overcome presented crises as much as possible… alright, that's about it. I think I have the perfect fit for you. So do you want to keep your memories?" the man asked.
"Yeah, I think so. It would be waste to forget all the lessons I learned," I reply as I remember all the hard lessons I learned in my past life. I would rather not make those mistakes again…
"Alright, so do you have any final questions before I send you on your way?" the man asked.
"Yeah, what will I be when I reincarnate?" I ask.
"Oh, I can't tell you that. I can assure you your life will be much better than the previous one. The policy prevents me from disclosing details about the specifics of your next life. But I can tell you that you won't be human," the man said.
"So I'll be something better?" I ask.
"Yeah, definitely — humans are a class C7 body type creature, you will be a class A1 body type creature. So yes it's much better," the man said.
"Ok… I guess I'm ready," I say as I tense silently, praying the reincarnation process won't hurt.
"Excellent," the man said.
The moment the man said that word, the world went black. I tried to get my bearings but I found I couldn't move; it feels like I'm curled up in a fetal position. This place felt warm… and wet… oh god… I hope I'm not about to be born...
"What with this egg?" I hear a muffled male voice say.
"No idea, hey Alisa, you said this tomb had some good stuff here, why is there only this weird egg?" I hear another male voice ask.
"I don't know, this map was passed down from my family. I only recently figured out where it led to. Judging by the seal on the door this place has been sealed for centuries, everything looks undisturbed as well," a female voice said, sounding very confused.
"You think this egg is valuable? I mean it's quite big…" one of the voices said as I felt something tap onto a surface above me.
Oh my god… I'm in an egg… am I a bird? Am I going to be some weird pigeon or something?
"Hang on, what does this say…" I heard another female voice say.
Then I feel the area around me shift and I feel this strange pressure around me lessen.
"WOAH WOAH! IT'S HATCHING!" I hear the first male voice say.