I walked into the familiar graveyard. The sun had already set. I took in the sight to which I had grown accustomed to, after all I was visiting way too often. For me it was almost ironic how peaceful everything around this graveyard was, as it was located on the urban part of London. One could even argue that it was out of the city, surrounded by a beautiful forest, and you were able to hear the sounds of small birds flying around and talking amongst themselves.
I looked down at my feet which walked on the very well used path. I knew this place like the palm of my hand and I hated that, I hated how familiar I was with it. The tombstones were a stark reminder of the sadness this place harbors. It very well reminded me that life is not always filled with happiness, but it led me to the belief that there was beauty in death. It was the last milestone from one's life.
My steps slowed as my breathing became shallow. Each time I visited this gravestone it dragged out the same reaction out of me, which later always made me question if humans are prone to remember sadness more fondly than happiness. After all, we humans somehow evolved as a kind. My throat became tighter and I looked at the name which was written on the stone 'Michael Wilson'. Brief anger took over me, but it was quickly replaced by sadness. It had been 10 years since he had lost his life on the front. 10 years in which had left me all alone to deal with the ruthless world which doesn't spear anyone from its demise.
I knelt beside the grave as I pulled out a small cake and a candle. I slowly put the candle on it as I brought my lighter out and lit it. I watched how the beautiful flame danced around shining more light on the old stone. I gulped down trying to ignore the huge ball of sadness in my throat, "Happy, 36 birthday, Michael." I said in an almost whisper-like manner. I often stayed here and spoke to Michael's stone, and even though I knew he couldn't hear me, it brought comfort to think that he was still around lurking somewhere in the shadows of the night. I looked up at the sky and wondered which star he was, because I knew he was somewhere up there, watching me from above.
"You know, you always said that when you die no one would remember you", if only I could see him now, face to face and tell him how wrong he was. How I wish I could have him close to me for a moment so I could tell him everything which was weighing on my heart. Memories flooded my brain, and came crashing through me in a train-like manner. I lifted my right hand and wiped a single tear which had escaped, I took in a small breath and continued my train of thought. "I still miss you, day after day. I know how much you would have hated to hear that." For some reason this made me let out a sound which almost sounded like a choked laughter. More tears followed the first one and soon enough I was a mess.
Suddenly I hated the reality which I was in, I hated every single aspect of it. Soon after his death I had learned that there was no justice in this world, no happy end, no nothing. My heart clenched "They couldn't retrieve your body and it always hurts to think that you must have died all alone, and no one cared enough to find you. You didn't deserve it, and I know that when the time comes we will meet again." I covered my mouth so I could muffle my cries.
During this moment Mother Nature continued being her usual self. Birds were loudly singing, the leaves on the trees swung side by side because of the wind. There were occasional cracks being heard probably because a wild animal had stepped on a dry stick. The moment was as peaceful as it could be, after all, death was a natural accurate.
I reached towards my collar line and pulled out a necklace - Michael's dog tag. I clenched it in my left hand close to my heart and spoke one last sentence. "Sleep easy, my soldier."