We walked back toward the Zenin compound under the cloak of night. And we were moving slow, exhausted but oddly peaceful, when the change in the air hit us. It wasn't the familiar cold of the stone corridors but a strange, unsettling heat.
We stopped walking and both turned our heads toward the compound. The sky above it was glowing orange.
"Fire." Jinichi said under his breath, already running.
I followed behind. And as we rounded the final corner, Jinichi and I exchanged a look the looked around. Servants were scrambling with buckets and the air was filled with smoke and the acrid smell of burning wood.
And then I saw it.
Our house was completely engulfed. The traditional wooden structure was a roaring inferno, the roof caving in with sickening cracks. I didn't see sorcerers fighting a curse, I only saw a man, a dark shape I recognized as a low-level servant scrambling away across the rooftops, disappearing into the shadows.
Someone shouted from near the courtyard, voice cracked and desperate: "Lady Sakuya's still inside!"
The world around me froze, instantly. My vision was blurring and my chest caved in.
"No…" The word came out broken. "No, no, no!"
I sprinted toward the house, and my hand was outstretched for the burning wood when a vice-like grip clamped down on my arm.
"Toji, no!" Jinichi's voice was terrified but his strength was absolute. He yanked me back from the heat.
I didn't recognize my own voice as I turned on him. I hammered my fists against his chest, screaming over and over again until my throat was raw and burning.
"Mom! Let me go! She's in there! Let me go now!"
I punched him again and again, my fists driving him backward, Jinichi grunting in pain and shock.
"You can't go in there!" he roared, wrestling my arms. "You'll die, you idiot!"
I didn't care. I wanted to die if she was gone too.
Jinichi's face twisted with real pain but not from the punches. He knew he couldn't restrain me for long. I saw a flicker of resolution in his face, a desperate act of twisted sibling kindness.
So I head-butted his jaw and twisting violently, my only thought was to go into to the flame.
And then everything blurred. Jinichi whispered something, an apology... I think and before I could react, his fist connected with the side of my head.
Everything went black.
When I woke, I was screaming.
"Mom!" I bolted upright, gasping. And I looked around, I was lying in an unfamiliar room. My head throbbed viciously where Jinichi had struck me and my throat was scraped raw from screaming.
A servant was sitting nearby and when she saw I was awake, she flinched, her eyes darting toward the door.
"My mother..." I rasped, my voice barely a squeak. "Where is she? Is she… did they get her out?"
The servant kept her head down, her hands moving meticulously over the cloth. She wouldn't look at me and didn't answer.
"Where is she?!" I shouted, grabbing her wrist. "Where is my mom?!"
Before she could stammer anything, the door slid open.
And father stepped in.
His face was gray, his usually immaculate hair disheveled and his kimono was stained with soot and water.
I stood up, legs trembling and before I even realized what I was doing, I punched him. The impact barely made him flinch but it made my knuckles ache.
"Where were you?!" I screamed, hitting him again. "Where were you when she was burning?! When she needed you?!"
His eyes glistened for a moment. And one tear escaped before he slapped me so hard I fell to the tatami mat.
"Where was I?" he roared, his voice thick with rage. "Where were you, boy? You were supposed to be home! Where did you run off to after you were done with your damned chores?"
I froze.
"I..."
"You went off somewhere, didn't you?" His voice broke into a snarl. "You left her alone!"
"I... I was training!" I shouted. "I just wanted to..."
"Training?" He stepped closer, looming over me. "You were forbidden from training! You defied the clan, defied my word and now look what's happened!"
He grabbed my komono and shaking me until my teeth rattled.
"She's dead, Toji! Because you weren't there!" His voice cracked. "You left her unprotected, helpless!"
"No…" My chest collapsed inward. "No, that's not true..."
"Then what's true?!" he roared. "Now I see why you're cursed-less. You bring nothing but pain and shame to this family! And even your mother died because of you!"
He threw me onto the ground. And the force of the accusation was far more crushing than the blow itself.
He turned and walked away, his shoulders trembling with disgust.
And I just sat there.
The world around me blurred through the tears that refused to stop. My lungs felt like they were caving in.
It wasn't supposed to be like this. She was supposed to see me become strong. She was supposed to see me prove them all wrong.
But she was gone. Burned alive in the house that was supposed to protect her.
And maybe… maybe it was my fault. If I hadn't gone with Jinichi. If I'd stayed, maybe she'd still be alive.
The thought hit me like a curse. And I screamed until my throat burned and my voice broke. Until there was nothing left inside me but the sound of my own broken sobbing.
And then… nothing.
I collapsed forward, my face buried in my arms, tears soaking the tatami. My whole body shook, the world spinning and twisting around me. And when the last of my strength faded, I whispered into the quiet, voice cracked and barely audible...
"I'm sorry, Mom… I'm so sorry…"
Darkness came. And I let it take me.