Jessica's head disappeared in the sky, and it was replaced by the outline of a maze. It was square, and in the middle of the maze was an open box. It was slowly rotating around when Jessica started talking again.
"Maze Twenty is a Peaceful Transition Game by the Selarian Life League to help planets prepare entrants. This is accomplished by reducing the population by eighty percent. Why is that required? For many reasons, in fact! From resource management to population calibration, to cultural purification and mathematical harmony, the purpose of Maze Twenty is wide and deep. We know the purpose, but what about how to play the game?"
"What? I still don't understand the purpose of this!" I said to the sky. Jay gave me an agitated shush with one of her tentacles, and Patti even gave me the side eye. I took the hint and continued listening.
"Maze Twenty is a series of interconnected maze blocks. Each maze block has a town center! These centers are populated with quest givers, factions, shops, instructors, and so much more! The goal of Maze Twenty is to be in the top 20% of your population. This can be accomplished in one of two ways: finishing ten quests or surviving until only 20% of the population remains! Both are perfectly viable options in the game! Let's talk about quests and how those work. You will have to seek out quest givers who will assign you the start of a quest chain. These quests will require you to accomplish something in your maze zone, which will reward you with one maze key."
"You will have to then navigate the maze to find an exit, use the maze key, and be transported to a new biome to continue the quest. Quests will require completion of at least two maze biomes. Some may take even more! Once a quest is accepted, it may not be abandoned, and no other quests may be started until your current one is finished. Now let's discuss quest logistics, shall we?" A series of graphs and number charts now appeared in the sky, and I threw my hands up. Everything in my body told me to freak the fuck out, but instead I just kept going along. I was done. The adrenaline was fading, and now only fear and anger were left. And so I walked away towards my house.
Jay stopped watching the PowerPoint presentation in the sky and watched me walk away. "Hey, where are you going? She's about to discuss equipment stats next. You really need to hear this!"
I stopped and fished my smokes out of my pocket. I lit one and inhaled. The damn smoke just spread out everywhere from my face and neck. I threw the cigarette down and yelled, "Ahhh!!! I don't fucking care! I don't… fucking… care. This is bullshit," I said as I pointed at the sky. Jay's tentacles went up as if to say something, but I didn't stay to hear it. Patti came to walk beside me, but she kept looking back, probably at Jay. I entered my house and walked to my kitchen. It was all tidy and clean, which wasn't how I normally was, but it seemed disrespectful to my dad if I let it become a mess inside. Which sounded funny to say since I didn't mow my grass, but that was my way of sticking it to Joey.
I opened the fridge and it was pretty barren inside. A few leftovers from previous meals, a bottle of orange juice, some out-of-date milk, and a whole lot of condiments. I grabbed the orange juice and popped the cap off to take a swig. In my emotional state, I didn't even think about it until the juice started spilling out everywhere. I just stared at the mess on the kitchen floor and at my soaked shirt. It was a PUSSY RIOT shirt and it was one of my favorites. I put the bottle back in the fridge, almost slipped on the spilled juice, and went to the living room. I shuffled up to my couch and slid my blanket over so I could sit. I've been living here for about ten weeks now, and I still sleep on the couch. I didn't have it in me to clean out my dad's room. Not yet, at least.
Patti jumped up on the couch and lay her head on my lap. I could see her little eyebrows going up and down as she looked at me. She felt warm to me, and I wondered how the hell I felt that. The room started to fill with a yellow light, and I sighed. "Please, go away," I said.
Jay walked around the couch and stood in front of me. She was looking at the living room before she spotted a recliner and went over to sit in it. I readjusted myself on the couch to lie down, pulling my blanket over my head. Patti got her head under the blanket and joined me. There was a long silence, and I could still hear the rules being explained outside. They were now talking about maze composition. I just didn't give a shit right now. Jay finally broke the silence and said, "I can give you a condensed rundown if you want, Max?"
I shook my head under the blanket and said, "No thanks, Jay." There were a few minutes of silence before I added, "Are you a vampire?"
Jay didn't say anything for a few seconds before finally replying, "What is a vampire?"
I threw back my blanket and lifted my head to look at her. "A creature of the night, a blood sucker. They can't be seen in mirrors, so I'm guessing maybe not on cameras as well. They don't have vampires where you're from?"
"We do not have those where I'm from. Are those real here?" she asked.
"No, well, maybe. I don't know Jay. I've been awake for an hour, and in that time, I've seen my neighbor's face sliced off, I've become a fucking skeleton, I have a weird octopus lady helping me, and that giant floating head froze time and picked my nose. Now they're out there explaining shit I'm supposed to do so they can kill off four fifths of the planet. And for what? To be a part of some space club? I didn't ask for this shit, and I'm not playing their fucking game. I'm not their entertainment or social experiment or lab rat or anything. If you're here to talk me into doing any of this nonsense, then go kick rocks. My neighbor couldn't bully me into mowing my grass, and no aliens are going to bully me into participating in this nonsense." I caught my breath after my rant and just lay my head back down. Patti shuffled forward on her tummy to give me a little lick on my cheek. I was just glad I could feel that as well. I put my arm over her and pulled her in to kiss her back.
Jay just sat there, expressionless, for a moment. She finally spoke up and asked, "So are vampires real?"
I threw the blanket back over my head to hide. I replied, "No. They're not real."
There was some more silence, and Jay continued, "You didn't see me on your camera because I'm an RCI, which is a Replicated Conscious Intelligence. That means when I finished my time in my world's maze, they made a full recording of me to be used as a game manual in future mazes. I'm not an octopus person either. I failed my flip during race choice as well and got turned into this."
I stayed hidden under the blanket but asked, "What were you like?"
"Well, my people are called Myren's, and we look fairly similar to humans. Our skin is translucent, though, so that's a difference. We also ate our babies for sustenance."
I yanked the blanket down and looked at Jay. "Are you fucking serious?" She smirked and shook her head no. I pulled the blanket back up, and she continued.
"My people are deep sleepers, Max. So when our giant head appeared in the sky, her name was Manuela by the way, a lot of my people didn't even know about it because most of us were hibernating and still asleep. You lost nearly fifteen percent of your population during that initial moment? We lost nearly forty percent. Almost half of my planet was gone, and they never knew. Then I had to go through the maze and do some really awful shit to survive. Of the twenty percent who made it to the end, only four percent got there from doing quests. The rest were just survivors. It was brutal, Max."
I finally sat up on my couch and looked at Jay. Patti hopped off the couch, annoyed at me constantly moving, and she lay down next to my feet to close her eyes. "I'm sorry, Jay. That's awful to hear, and hopefully you understand why I'm not going along with it."
Jay's tentacles went up in a sweet, sad smile, and she said, "Thanks."
We sat in silence for a bit, and then coming from outside there was music now playing. Patti's ears picked up, but she stayed sitting. It sounded like… dubstep. I hated dubstep.
"Are they now going to torture me with their shitty music?" I asked.
Jay chuckled and stood up. "No, they're about to begin the biome selections. They do a little celebratory song before they begin the flips." She looked at me and nodded towards my front door. "Want to see what this biome becomes?" I let out a sigh and went to stretch out my arms as I stood up. I stopped mid-stretch at the amount of popping noises that came from my body. It sounded like somebody was snapping a huge handful of uncooked spaghetti.
"Well, I guess I can go see what kind of stupid shit's happening now. Just don't expect much more from me."
"Hey, I'm your game manual. I'm here for you." I smiled at Jay, and we walked outside with Patti following. There were flashing lights as the dubstep music blared, and Jessica's head was bobbing around. She had DJ headphones on, and she did one last spin before the music ended. Her headphones poofed off her head, and she looked extra crazy happy.
Jay suddenly looked at me and asked, "Wait, did you say she picked your nose?"
Before I could answer, Jessica began talking. "Those were a lot of rules for Maze Twenty, and we're so glad you made it through! Now that we let the beat drop, it's time we let the final flips… um, drop…" She trailed off at the end of the sentence, looking a little confused at what she had just said. She perked back up and continued, "We are going to begin the flips to decide each biome! These are automated and random, so all you have to do is sit back and watch! Once the flips are done, it will take a little time to generate everything. Please listen to your game manual while the maze walls are also created. We'd hate for you to accidentally get your face sliced off during maze generation! That's a little inside joke for my boyfriend, ha ha!"
I could feel Jay's head slowly turn to look at me, and I went to reply before she said anything. However, Jessica's head popped in the sky in an explosion of confetti, and the words FINAL FLIP: BIOME appeared. Underneath that were three words stacked on top of each other, and each one had a blank line next to it. The words were GENRE, SUBGENRE, and WILDCARD. The opaque wall now showed a token that slowly spun around. It was just like mine. It then began doing a series of flips, repeatedly and fast. The little animation would go up in the air and come back down, and it went on for a while.
The token flipped one more time, and finally a word appeared next to GENRE: ZOMBIE. The token resumed its flipping, and Jay turned to me to ask a question.
"What are zombies?"
"They're reincarnated deceased people. They move slowly and try to eat your brains." I said,
Jay shivered and replied, "You all make up the weirdest shit."
I thought about that for a moment and shrugged. I watched a lot of horror movies, and I'd be lying if I said there wasn't some truly messed-up shit. The next series of flips went a bit faster this time. When the token did its final flip, it now showed SUBGENRE: FAST. That one was surprising. Did it mean like the running zombies from 28 Days Later? I barely had time to finish my thought before the token stopped flipping again and the next line said WILDCARD: DIVINE. All three lines began to glow and faded into a timer. It was counting down from one hour. It said underneath "Under Construction: Maze Zone 4029 - Divine Fast Zombies."
My eyes furrowed as I read that before turning to Jay. "What, like angel zombies?"