It happened soon after the sun set. The two Living Armors stood with their arms crossed, in their hands the giant bags full of rations that the Butler had brought out. They had decided to help a brother out, but what was to happen next? Were they just supposed to stand here?
The living armors looked at each other. John and Jake, as the Butler liked to call them, (interchangeably more often than not since he couldn't differentiate between the two for the life of him, but John and Jake it was) patiently decided to not make any moves. If they stood out too much and people found out that they were living armors from the Grim Palace, chaos would erupt in the entire duchy let alone just the city.
But well, just because one doesn't move doesn't mean fate can't find its way to them. The two were quiet in the alleyway, playing a game where they struck each other's hands with their fingers until the count went up to five and a person lost the hand, when footsteps pitter-pattered into the alleyway.
A young lady in a modest dress ran toward the alley, holding a pouch of money in her hands. Tears streaked her beautiful face as her brown hair clung to the wetness of her face, a mess.
Jake looked at her chest.
John slapped the back of his head.
"Oh no!" the lady yelped as she saw the two. Her eyes were trembling as she held the pouch of money tighter than before.
From behind her came two three men. Donning long coats and hats and gloves. The one at the front held his cigar and stepped ahead.
"Hey, hey. Are these your accomplices? Hah. Hey big guys," the man said to the Living Armors. Jake and John pointed at themselves, confused. They hadn't been big before, that was awfully kind of that man! He surely couldn't be evil. "I don't what that bitch is promising you, but a whore's a whore. She'll fuck you over too, is it the tits that's getting you to make all these plans?"
The ones behind reached into their pockets. One pulled out a knife, and the other a small wand embedded with a magic stone.
Jake and John frowned, it was deeply upsetting for someone to compliment them and then be rude like this. Was everything a show in this world? Plastic. Fake? What had become of human civilization!
"Hand over my money, or it's over for you guys."
"W-wait!" The girl said. "I don't know these people… They have nothing to do with this!"
Jake and John wiped a tear. Now this was kindness. There was still hope for their species (not the same species). With a charged mind, Jake put a hand on the girl's shoulders.
"W-what?"
"..."
He pulled her back, and the two living armors stepped forward.
The two thugs charged at them while their leader took a drag of the cigar.
"HAAH!"
"Impetus, Flamma!"
A spear of fire formed in mid air and came rushed at Jake, while the other struck John with his knife. The two of them didn't even flinch as they let the attacks strike them.
The flames dissipated.
And the knife bounced back with a loud clang.
"What the fuck…?"
"Huh…?"
It was their turn next. Jake pulled out his sword and swung it from bottom to up.
—BOOM!
A snap like the clap of thunder rang out in the place. The thugs stood immobile as a deep gash appeared on the ground.
There was no injury, yet. Along with the sound, the falling of a cigar rang in the small alleyway. Jake stood in front of the boss of the three, his sword pointed at the man's neck, the cigar chopped in half.
The man took a step back.
"M-m-mercy…"
It was time for some true education. No screams or gasps rang out as Jake and John muffled the mouth of the three before beating the god-loving shit out of them. The three thugs were trampled on, punched, kicked, thrown like a rag and then robbed off their clothes.
That was when the girl bowed and thanked them.
"T-these people try to take protection money from our brothel everyday," she said. "We barely manage to make money, I would rather die than give it in the hands of these bastards!"
She bowed and bowed, and the two tried on the coats and the hats. They quite liked it really.
"Thanks to you all of us will be ok, but… but maybe they will come back for revenge… No, I mustn't involve you further… How can I ever repay you for this?"
Jake looked at her bosom.
John slapped the back of his head.
The girl walked away.
***
"So that's what happened." I crossed my arms and nodded at John and Jack's story. Or was it Jake and Jack? John? They hadn't said a word, it was instead the grimoire that had found its way in my hands somehow that told me all of what had happened while chipping away at the damned writings on the book.
It was almost 9. Quite late in the night.
I had managed to complete the task on hand. I had the 'saliva' of a girl in my mouth, still feels a little weird when put that way but it was just a kiss.
"Do you think I can try out magic right now?" I asked, whispering to the grimoire.
[Right now?] The words on the grimoire changed. [Here is a simple incantation, using fire magic is the easiest thing. Form Fire.]
"Isn't it supposed to be in some strange old runic language?"
[Nope? That's so stupid and inconvenient.]
I shrugged.
Fair, I guess.
"So, Jake and John," The armors turned to me. "Two things, that girl and her brothel would definitely be bothered by these guys. I think you want to stop that from happening?"
The living armors looked at each other, then nodded. It was quite emotionless.
"Alright. So we'll wake these guys up and find their base. Then, let's steal all of their belts so they can never walk out of their homes without worrying about their pants falling!"
That was obviously euphemism for kicking their nuts in.
The armors agreed and made way to let me approach the three men. That was when Jake (or maybe John? I couldn't for the life of me tell) stopped me and raised his chin.
"Oh? With that girl?" I grinned. "Third base."
They nodded and smiled.
I grabbed the man laid on the top of the pile by his vest and yanked him up, slapping him to wake him up.
"And the second thing. You really should have taken the chance to cop a feel."
One of them slapped his thighs and fell to his knees in grief.
Alright. That one's Jake.