---
I'll never let anyone make me this vulnerable again. Sandy is the last person who'll ever do this to me.
"Please, leave," I whispered again, but Samantha only tightened her arms around me, holding me in place.
"That's not happening. So don't even bother." Her voice was firm, yet calm and gentle. I had never seen Sam this determined. Then again, I'd never put her in this position. "If you ever want to talk about it, I'll be here. I'm not going anywhere."
"Don't make promises you can't keep," I murmured, wiping my tears while still in her arms. "Everyone says that… and then they leave." My eyes stung. "Always."
"I'm sorry they left, but I promise I'm not them." She loosened her grip and looked into my eyes. I wanted so badly to believe her—to believe those soft, warm eyes that said everything would be alright. "You'll always have me. Always." She brushed her hand gently across my cheek.
"Trust me, you'll forget all of this when I get on your nerves." She caught the tear that slipped down my face and pulled me into another hug.
"I don't leave. Especially when my friends need me." She whispered against my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. Focus. Not now, I told myself. "Get that in your head," she murmured again. I couldn't take it anymore.
I pulled out of the hug, staring deep into her eyes. They were telling me not to worry, telling me everything would be fine. I placed my hand on her cheek. My heart pounded; my body burned with need. My gaze dropped to her lips—full, pink, inviting. I lifted my thumb and brushed it across them, slow and soft.
Something inside me snapped. I couldn't hold back any longer—not even with that quiet voice in the back of my mind begging me to stop. I leaned closer. Our faces were inches apart. I could feel her warm breath, her racing heartbeat. It was just us.
I closed my eyes and let the moment swallow me. When I opened them, she was already looking into mine—then slowly shut hers and bit her lower lip. Her cheeks were flushed pink. Her ears too.
I couldn't resist. I pressed my lips to hers. Soft. Warm. I sucked gently on her lower lip—slow, deliberate. She let out a soft moan, sliding her hands into my hair and pulling me closer. That was all the confirmation I needed.
I let my tongue slip forward, and she parted her lips for me. I tasted her completely. She held my hair tightly, pulling me in. My free hand slid to her back, slipping under her top. The second my fingers touched her skin, goosebumps rose along my arms. I let out a low moan—and so did she, squealing lightly as my fingers traced her back.
"This is wrong," she whispered suddenly, pushing me away. "I can't do this."
We both struggled to catch our breath.
"What?" My voice cracked. I was confused. I thought things were going well. I thought she felt what I felt. "Why is it wrong? Was it me? Did you realize who you were kissing—your messed-up friend?"
"I have to leave," she said, standing up. I couldn't believe it. I let out a short, humorless laugh and shook my head. Of course. I shouldn't have kissed her. I shouldn't have softened. I knew she would leave eventually—just like everyone else.
"I'm sorry."
She grabbed her bag from the couch and walked out.
The silence that followed could kill. The only sounds were my uneven breathing and my pounding heart.
Why do I always do this to myself?
Maybe coming to university was a mistake. I should've stayed home and drowned in my past instead of stacking new pain on top of the old. It's not like I needed the education—my grandparents made sure I had everything before they left.
I leaned back against the couch, running my hands through my hair. I shook my head and let out a small laugh. It was almost funny how I kept putting myself through the same pain over and over. It felt like a curse.
"Someone's in a good mood?"
I almost jumped. I hadn't even heard the door open.
"What are you doing here, Brandon?" I asked.
"Samantha told us she was leaving, so I figured I'd come see what you're up to," he said casually, as if I hadn't kicked him out minutes ago. He dropped onto the couch next to me. "Sooo… what are you doing?"
I wasn't going to break down again. I forced a smile and pushed everything down. I'm never crying for anyone again. Never. I grabbed the remote.
"I was about to watch Friends," I said, scrolling through the TV. "Now that you know, you can leave."
"I'm not leaving you alone," he said, stretching his legs on the couch.
"Okay, suit yourself." I selected the show. "Stay if you want. I don't care." And truly, I didn't. I walked to the kitchen. The mess from earlier was gone—everything spotless, like nothing had ever happened.
I served myself biscuits and a glass of juice, then went back to the couch. I kept my eyes on the show, ignoring Brandon's small-talk attempts.
By 11 p.m., he was yawning nonstop. By the second episode, he was out cold. I grabbed a fleece blanket and covered him. I thought about taking him back to his place but decided Chase should come get him.
And speaking of Chase—Brandon's phone started ringing. His name popped up as "Cuddle Monster" with a bunch of heart and fire emojis. Cringe. But it made me smile.
"Babe," Chase said as soon as I picked up. "Is she okay?"
I cleared my throat.
"I'm okay," I said quietly. "And… he's sleeping. You should come get him."
He let out a small laugh.
"On my way." He hung up.
Seconds later, there was a knock on the door.
"It's open!" I called, trying not to strain my sore throat.
The door swung open. Chase stepped in.
"I can't believe he fell asleep," he said, looking at Brandon.
"He's had a long day," I replied, still watching the TV.
"Friends, huh?" he asked, glancing at the screen.
"Yeah."
"Let me take him before I get stuck here. That show is addictive."
I forced out a small chuckle and followed them to the door.
"Goodnight."
"Goodnight," I said, locking the door behind them. I went back to the couch and resumed watching.
Crrrr… crrrr… crrrr…
My phone buzzed. Unknown number. It wasn't Sam. I ignored it.
Crrr… crrrr… crrr…
It rang again. Same number. Ignored.
Crrrr…
A text popped up—a bank confirmation. Someone had sent me money.
The name…
I knew that name.
It can't be him.
No. No way.
I shook my head. Must be a wrong transfer.
Crrrr… crrrr… crrrr…
Same number again.
I sighed and answered, hoping this call wouldn't make my already awful day even worse.