I've been forcibly dragged to the conference area.
At least they let me bring my blanket.
It's only the three of us in here, and I'm just trying to stay out of sight and out of mind. I still haven't said much to either of them. I'm shrunk up in my chair, leg points at my butt, hugging my knees, covered in fluffy gray fabric. Only my eyes peek out, and I watch with strained apprehension as the two of them discuss things without me.
There's a pretty purple flower in Razor's hair.
Ace gave it to her. I wasn't there for it, but…
They're officially together now. I'm happy for them.
But I don't know why I'm here. I don't know.
So instead I shut down all systems.
Somebody is moving my head around.
I come back online to find Razor gently waking me up. She's seated on the table in front of me just to my left, legs dangling. When I'm awake, she sits back and evaluates me. Her white hair has been cleaned and brushed, the purple flower rests on her ears, and her blue eyes hurt to look at. They see me. They see through me.
Her voice is soft and kind. "Hi."
"H–Hi," I stammer, choking up and looking elsewhere.
"We need you awake, Nep-181. Or should we call you Witch?"
"I don't–I don't know. Don't care. Why am I here?"
"Because you're a part of this. You're one of us."
"Rather not be. I'd rather be shut down forever. You two are better than me in every way so it isn't like you even need me. You don't have to try and include me just because. I don't want to be included. I want to go back to bed."
"I can't tell," she hums, tilting her head a little. "Are you depressed?"
"Yes, my depression integer is 215. Can I go back to bed now?"
"No."
I shut up, afraid to go against her.
"You're Nep-181. That means there were around eighty between each of us. Am I right in assuming it's been around six months since I died?"
I shake my head. "I dropped in six months after. I've been here for… two months since."
"It's June of 2336, then. Sounds warm."
"What's wrong with you?" Ace demands of me, seated at the head of the table with her leg points up and crossed atop it. "Makes perfect sense why so many of us have died, if they're sending units like you."
"Leave her alone," Razor sighs. "She brought you back to life, for Tesla's sake."
"Here's the thing," Ace says, dropping her legs and rising from her seat. "I threw my life away to save Zenith. I don't even like Zenith! I'm not throwing my second life away for you, Witch, whether you gave it to me or not. Razor, yes, gladly, but not you. Don't expect any more noble sacrifices from me. That includes dragging along any dead weight."
Razor coolly states, "Stand down, Ace. You've said enough."
"You're right. I've made my point abundantly clear."
I'm trembling as a result of it.
Why does she hate me so much?
"So," Ace says, glaring at me, "the spider, the drone factory, Razor's killer, the crater basin, and Shea McElroy are our targets. With three of us, we have a genuine chance at either getting across the basin or at least looting the hell out of that factory, if not the bunkers. That's what we'll focus our attention on first. As soon as we're able."
"Agreed," Razor replies. "I think you should be in the lead, Ace, but you need to cool off and slow down."
She begrudgingly sighs. "Yes, slashie…"
"Much better, shootie."
"But I want to kill that fucking spider. I want to find out what the hell killed you, Razor, and kill that too. Whatever or whoever it is. Speaking of, should I even bother asking if either of you know anything about the name Alice?"
"Never heard it before."
"Alice In Wonderland?" I offer. "That's all I can think of…"
Hand running through her hair as she breathes, Ace groans, "Yet another Nep mystery. Damn it. You'd think at some point we'd start getting some answers. Fine, moving on. Five targets, drone factory as priority. And what do we have to start with? You have all your gear, right?"
"Yes, including Logos and Pathos. You don't have anything, do you?"
"Not true." She holds up the back of her right hand with a devilish sneer. "Another Air Burst Efficiency Chip. I took a loan from Louis."
"I'm certain the anklebiters won't know what hit them."
"Nope! And with the Nep Stockade you started, I've got some extra tools to kick off with. I'll stick to rifles and cover you from range. Also? Sheer chance, I know, but I'd like to check the wreck site for my SMG."
"Oh, shooter, that's buried by now. It's been over a year of Cipher-3 snowfall."
"It was a gift, slasher. I have to at least check. Besides, it's… where I died."
"Right. We'll make a trip. That alone is worth it. We may want to consider another few runs at the bunker to get even better gear before we set out. I never did see what was in that Frames Division, and the other two bailed out as soon as I died…"
"I'm nervous about that. What if the thing gets the drop on us again?"
"I was about to say that's the way to begin tracking it down, but you're right. That wouldn't matter if I'm dead again in a blink. Hm… I'll think about that one. Speaking of my death, I should note. I'm still an Ethereal Blitz Phantom. Ace, are you still the same?"
"Yeah. Makes me curious. Are the SubVariants and Specializations based on the body or the mind? I wonder."
"And you, Witch. What's your penchant?"
"U–Um… Pr–Programming. I built Scribe. Um." Shit, what are my penchants? I've forgotten everything I've ever done in my runtime. "Umm… I'm… really good at Vengeance. I think. And… I made–Well, Scribe and I made it. Together. This, um. Compendium Museum. Archive. Database. Thing. Where–It–We put in data. And made it organized and compiled and indexed and stuff."
"Yes," Ace says, "that is a database."
"But–But it–No, because it's… Real. Well, not real, but it's simulated. Like a real museum. With… It's–It's–It's a 4D rendered and simulated curation of everything. The idea was to–was to just put it all together into one place. All the data from your Failsafe Chips. All of it. Scribe is the perfect reference. So… You can… Do that…"
There are a few long seconds of silence.
I'm about to shut down again from embarrassment.
"You did exactly as I asked," Razor says with a flicker of a smile. "I wanted whoever got my backup or Failsafe to keep working on storing our collective journey. That's what you did. Thank you, Witch. That's going to be extremely helpful. I'm more than curious to look into it."
"R–Right. Okay. Um. Okay…"
"You're a Spectral Variant, but what's your SubVariant and Specialization?"
"U–Um. Well, I'm built for… For Technomancy. As a Spectral. My Sub–My SubVariant is… Brink. I'll hopefully get a certain number of Amps–I mean, Amplifications–as my Innate Ability from that. If… I ever get my IAs from the creepy Restricted person. With those, I can… Over–Overclock. Um. Galvanize. And… Recycle my Tech Charges."
"Okay. That's interesting. What do those things do?"
"W–Well, the… The… Overclocking makes my Tech more power–more powerful. Way more. It takes more Amps though. Galvanizing… Adds new effects. To–To the enemy or to me or to whoever. It depends. Then Recycling just consumes Amps to… refill my Tech Charges."
"And these Amps would refill on a regen?"
"Y–Yeah. Yes."
"Okay. I'm intrigued. What about your Specialization?"
"Oh, it–That's–Chroma. It's Chroma. Basically… I choose a single specific color tuning to specialize in. Say, RedTech. And then… all RedTech would be way more potent."
"Very good to know. What are you capable of in terms of combat?"
I tremble in my seat, hugging my knees, tightening the blanket. The words tumble out. "I've never been in a fight."
Ace stares at me and to my dismay Razor doesn't look much happier. The former does manage to temper her response to, "That can be addressed. There's always something to fight on Cipher-3."
"I… don't really leave… the Station. I haven't. Not once. Not since I… got here."
Ace groans, "You have a two month runtime and you've never gone outside? Tesla's sake."
Razor asks, "How did you get these bodies?"
"Well, that one is yours. M–Mostly. We just replaced your head and left arm, both with Ethereal parts. Then most of Ace's are from Nep-67. The–The rest are… Well, I gathered them through remote access with Tune. I piloted her body and she did all the work while I stayed here."
"Remote what with Tune?" Razor demands. "I didn't know you could do that!"
Ace clicks her tongue, rolling her eyes. "It's right there in the documentation."
"As if you read your documentation either! You almost got killed by anklebiters. I don't want to hear anything from you."
"Almost!"
"Still. It's odd. Nep-67 keeps on giving. I almost feel sorry, but… Not really." She comes over to me, giving me an evaluating glance. I'm not standing, but I know she's a head taller than me. "Cipher is far from a safe place to be, Witch. You're not wrong to be afraid of it. In fact, you're smart to be. If you want to know what happens when you aren't, just look at Ace."
She grumbles, "Fair assessment. I should have been a lot more careful than I was."
She places a hand on my shoulder, looking deep into my eyes, hers the same striking blue. "But nothing good comes from staying in a shell. We'll get you out there, okay? With three of us now, it's safer than ever. Still dangerous, but you won't be alone. We'll watch out for each other."
"Second that," Ace sighs, coming over. She's another head taller than Razor, and much taller than me. "I've been an asshole but I'm done now. Mostly. Let's stick close, you two. I've got your backs. We'll find that damn spider and try to get across that basin. I say we start first thing tomorrow morning."
"My–My fear," I cough up, fighting to at least get it out there. "Fear integer. It's 251."
"Damn," Ace grins. "If you're that brave, what are you so nervous for?"
"Other way around," Razor tells her.
"Ohhh. Additive fear. Shit… So you're a total coward, aren't you?"
"Ace."
"Y–Yeah! I am! I… I am… I'm useless…"
"That sucks. You're still coming with us. I'll drag you out there if I have to."
"Ace."
"You heard her! She's a Tech savant! Do you realize how useful that's going to be? And the delusional little thing calls herself useless. So let's get her out there, have her blow something up, and then there. Cognitive distortion corrected."
"Hm. Okay, I changed my mind. I'm with you. Witch, you're coming willingly or Ace will drag you along."
Keeping my head low, really out of reverence as well as fear now, I more or less prostrate myself before the queens of all this. I'm not worthy to be among them. I'm not. I won't be. But I'm keeping quiet about that. And I'm done protesting, because I'm scared they'll get mad at me…
"Good. No protests. That's good." Ace hums, arms crossed. "One last thing. Witch, have you learned or gotten anything from our anonymous friend?"
"N–No. Nothing. They're like… level ups. In a video game. Neither of you played video games. But… You are… level four. If that… Yeah… And I'm level one, because I haven't done anything."
Ping! I have a message. It's a group conversation.
RESTRICTED> NOW ALL THREE ARE LEVEL FIVE
ACE> ARE YOU FUCKING LISTENING IN ON US???
SYSTEM> [ERROR: RECIPIENT DOES NOT EXIST]
RAZOR> …
SYSTEM> [ERROR: RECIPIENT DOES NOT EXIST]
I mumble, "Creepy…"
"I hate that," Razor mutters. "Guess we robots can't expect any modicum of privacy. I'm truthfully a little alarmed that we don't have anyone to report to, now that I think about it."
Ace groans, hand to her forehead. "There's so much of this that doesn't make any sense. But… Are you seeing this? I'm getting my IAs! Sharpshooter! And these firmware upgrades?"
"Telemetry for quickened attacks," Razor hums, brows knit together. "This is a huge upgrade."
"I have the same! Twice as fast? That's insane!"
"Um. Mine will make my Technomancy twice as powerful…"
"Two times zero is still zero," Ace says, then elbows me. "Oh come on. Just teasing."
I might genuinely cry. I thought she was serious.
"Don't tease her," Razor insists, putting an arm around me. It's nice. "She's sensitive."
"I'm sorry… I know I'm useless. I'll only slow you two down…"
"At least you're self aware."
"Ace. Stop talking. Now. Diodes, you sound like Zenith."
"Wow. That's devastating enough for me to shut up now, yeah."
Razor tilts my chin up and looks down at me. "No one who's useless could bring back the dead. Don't count yourself out just yet, Witch, because you don't even know what it is you're capable of. Your worth can't be extrapolated. You simply don't have enough data. And you never will. So… Stick with us. You don't have to do anything until you're ready, just come along. Please?"
Someone I'm afraid of and in awe of is asking me to do something I don't want to do. What else can I do or say? How I feel about the matter is inconsequential. She could easily kill me if I go against her.
I guess I've done my part. I've given them second chances, and Scribe is self-sufficient at this point, so my utility has run out. I may as well die at this point, so someone else can take over. Maybe I will follow them out into the snow. If I get myself killed, all the better. At least that way I could say it wasn't my fault.
We have objectives, at least. Things I can die trying to accomplish. That's valiant, right? Is that enough to redeem me? I doubt it. Whoever finds my Failsafe Chip will probably just scrap it when they see how little I've done. I'll be the laughing stock of every Nep after me.
But if I'm dead, I won't care. Will I?
Razor is waiting on me for an answer.
I'm scared of her so I just nod. I'm doomed. I don't know how I'm going to follow through on doing this. I'm sure they know I plan to back out at the last second. Neither of them confront me on it though, if they do know. Instead we call the meeting adjourned and go our separate ways to prepare. Which, for all three of us, ends up being the exact same place: the workshop.
Ace starts working on one of the big rifles and Razor gets Quentin to give her another diagnostic evaluation. With them busy catching up with him, Louis, Zoya, Henna, and Zenith, it gets a little busy. So I put on some headphones and listen to music while I text chat with Scribe.
nEPI-0181> at least ur my friend right
SCRIBE> Don't count on it.
Oh. Oh… Nevermind. I don't… Um…
My optics well up and my lip quivers as I take my headphones off, getting up to go shut down. It's all too blurry so I can hardly see where I'm going. Tears slide down my cheeks as I near the bunks and once I lay down and curl up they really start coming. Then I'm quietly sobbing, hugging my knees to my chest and wishing for it all to just end.
SCRIBE> I'm sorry. That was facetious…
I'm too hurt to care so I shut down entirely.
Everything would be so much better if I never existed.