**23.00 GMT-5, 22 June 2000, Genosha, NY, USA.**
LOGAN
Logan stared down at Mystique, his claws poised to strike.
But just as he was about to make the final move, Mystique's sly grin returned.
With a swift motion, she twisted beneath him, flipping Logan off her and darting toward the shadows like a snake retreating into its hole.
"Damn it," Logan cursed, pushing himself back up to his feet. He scanned the dark corners, but Mystique was nowhere to be found. For now.
Logan paced through the narrow hallways of the caves, claws still out, ready.
The echoes of battles fought elsewhere bounced off the cold walls.
The other one was probably still somewhere dealing with his team, and Wade… well, Wade was out there, probably in the machine and annoying the hell out of the bad guys, Logan hoped.
The air was cold, too quiet for comfort.
Logan's senses were on high alert, but all he could hear was his own heartbeat.
He stalked through the halls, his boots clanking softly on the metal floor.
And then a voice from behind startled him. "Logan? Come on, we need to regroup!"
Logan spun around. There was Rogue, standing in the middle of the hallway, her face urgent, but… something was off.
Her stance, the slight twitch of her smile, the scents–it didn't feel right. His instincts kicked in.
"You think you can fool me again?" Logan growled.
Rogue's face twisted in confusion. "Logan? What's wrong?"
Without a moment's hesitation, Logan slashed forward.
His claws cut through the air and met soft flesh, a wet sound echoing through the hallway as he buried them deep into her gut.
Mystique gasped, her disguise faltering as her body shifted back to her true blue form.
Blood trickled from her mouth as she stared at him in disbelief.
"How…?" she whispered, her voice weak, trembling as her hands grasped at the wound.
Logan twisted his claws ever so slightly, glaring down at her. "You're not her."
Mystique's eyes fluttered, her body shaking before going limp in his grip.
Logan pulled his claws out, letting her lifeless form slump to the ground as she morphed fully back into her true self.
He wiped his claws clean, no remorse in his eyes as he left Mystique behind. One down, but the job wasn't finished.
He turned to the sealed door.
With a guttural roar, he slashed outward with all his might. SHNNNK-CRASH! His adamantium claws sliced through the reinforced steel like it was paper, carving a massive, ragged hole.
He kicked the shredded metal inward and burst into the main cavern.
Wade was desperately dodging Sabertooth's attacks, his–is that bone? Logan thought that his son has the same metal claws he is, no he is. He guessed there are more things his son didn't tell him about–held defensively. "Hi, Pops! Took you long enough!" he yelled, ducking a swing that would have taken his head off.
Logan charged to help, but an invisible force seized him, lifting him off his feet and holding him suspended in mid-air.
Magneto, looking pale, held him fast with an outstretched hand. "Not so fast."
"Hey, Metalhead! Don't watch out!" Wade's voice cut through the tension.
He dumped a back kick into Sabertooth's head–sending him down to the pool that surrounded them–then scrambled to find where his wooden hockey stick was located.
He reversed his grip on the hockey stick and, with a grunt, hurled it like a javelin.
The lacquered wood spun through the air and smacked squarely against the side of Magneto's helmet with a solid THWACK.
The impact rang the metal helmet like a bell. Magneto staggered, his concentration broken, clutching his head in disoriented pain. Logan dropped to the ground, freed.
"Okay, Pops, listen up! Many fans always love your one on one fight so don't let us down in this!" Wade yelled, rushing to Logan's side as Sabertooth recovered and began stalking toward them. "It's like the me in the movie said! Shoot the devil, you take him down. Side control. Then full mount and ya ground and pound until he makes no sound because he's dead."
Logan shot him a look of pure exasperation. "Shut the fuck up!"
Wade put a hand on his chest, feigning offense. "Oh my God. Okay, good luck, I'm a huge fan."
He gave a thumbs-up, then immediately broke away, sprinting toward the still-stunned Magneto and retrieving his hockey stick before jumping into Magneto. "Alright, Gandalf! My turn! CANADA'S SPECIAL MOVES: WADE'S HOCKEY STICK!!!"
Swinging the wooden hockey stick like a baseball bat, Wade delivered another resounding CLANG against the gleaming helmet. Magneto's head snapped to the side from the impact.
"HAHAHA! You should see your face!" Wade crowed, dancing back out of reach from Magneto's attack.
Magneto didn't flare, he immediately attacked Wade again using the metal surrounding them, piercing Wade despite doing his best effort to dodge it.
"Uh oh!"
"All that effort and yet somehow, you still–"
Magneto couldn't finish his speech before Wade got up–with holes and some of the metal poles in his bodied–and swung his hockey stick into Magneto's head again. This time he lost his helmet as it flew across the room.
"Wha–"
Before Magneto could register what just happened, Wade's hockey stick met his face once again and broke his nose up.
"Arrrgh! urrrghh! What the hell was that!
"That's called hockey stick, biatch! Canada's finest!"
"A- A Ho-hockey stick? How the fuck did it hurt so much?"
"I have a lot of pent up trauma."
"That doesn't make any sense! Argh! STOP IT! You make my fucking nose bleeding! What the hell is wrong with you!"
"A LOT."
While Wade kept Magneto preoccupied with his taunts and hockey sticks assault, Logan focused on the primary threat. Sabertooth was just pushing himself up on the floor after he got out of the pool he was in momentarily in by Wade's kick. Seeing Logan charging, a brutal grin split Sabertooth's face.
"Come on, Jimmy!" he roared.
They traded earth-shaking blows, neither giving an inch.
Sabertooth used his raw size and power to slam Logan into consoles and rock pillars, the cavern trembling with each impact.
Logan answered with relentless, razor-sharp fury, his claws leaving deep, bleeding gashes across Victor's torso and arms.
It was a mix of snarls, slashing claws, and the brutal thud of fists meeting flesh and bone.
Sabertouth, using his weight, managed to pin Logan against a shattered control panel, his massive hands closing around Logan's throat.
"You always were the weak one, James," he spat, leaning in with feral triumph.
It was the opening Logan needed.
With a final, explosive surge of strength, he shoved back, freeing one arm.
A single, upward slash aimed with lethal, surgical precision.
The snarl on Sabertooth's face froze, then slackened into a mask of vacant surprise.
A thin red line appeared across his throat, then widened into a horrific, final grin.
His grip loosened, and his massive body slumped to the ground, lifeless.
"Welp… I guess we won't be seeing him at Thanksgiving dinner, then..."
WADE
The wooden hockey sticks felt reassuringly inert in his grip. "You know, for a guy who dresses like a rejected S&M club bouncer, you've got a real flair for the dramatic," Wade quipped, circling.
Magneto's response was a flick of one of his wrist while his other hand was still nursing his broken bloody nose. A storm of shredded metal–conduits, paneling, screws–ripped from the walls and shot towards Wade.
BAMF!
Wade vanished, reappearing three feet to the left as the shrapnel shredded the space he'd just occupied.
(Okay, good. Teleportation still works.)
/Don't overdo it, or you'll end up a jellyfish again./
"Missed me!" Wade sang, teleporting again.
SPOOF
This time directly behind a large, metal console. "Bet you can't hit me now, you metallic menace!"
It was a gamble.
An obvious, stupid gamble.
He was counting on Magneto's arrogance.
Magneto's eyes narrowed.
He made a grasping motion, and the entire console tore free from its moorings, hurling towards Wade like a freight train.
"Yes! He took it!"
Wade prepares to teleport at the last second, letting the console smash into the delicate-looking core of the conversion machine.
But Magneto was smarter.
At the last possible moment, he flicked his fingers.
The console veered upwards, missing the machine core by inches and crashing harmlessly against the cavern wall.
"Fuck!"
A cold, knowing smile touched Magneto's lips.
"Did you think I am that fucking stupid," the master of magnetism intoned.
(Shit.)
"Well, it's worth a try."
The fight became a deadly game of teleport-and-dodge.
A lasso of wiring tried to snare his ankle.
A hail of metal shards forced him into a desperate, nauseating series of short-range jumps.
He was being cornered, his options narrowing.
He couldn't get close, and his one good trick was being neutralized by sheer, overwhelming force.
His eyes, flicking for a split-second to check on his dad fighting his uncle.
It was a single, flawless motion.
Logan's claws doing an upward slash.
The way Sabertooth's triumphant snarl just... stopped. The horrific red line appeared on his throat.
The mountain of feral muscle that was his uncle slumping to the ground, lifeless and headless.
"Welp… I guess we won't be seeing him at Thanksgiving dinner, then..."
(Holy shit! He actually did it!)
/Well, thank god we are not actually in PG-13 movie and M rated Fanfic/
A slow, wicked grin spread across Wade's face beneath his mask. This was a gift.
He pointed with his wooden katana, not at Magneto, but at the body.
"Yo, Metalhead!" Wade called out, his voice dripping with mock sympathy. "Bad news. Looks like your attack dog just got put down. Who's gonna fetch your morally ambiguous newspaper now?"
Magneto's head whipped around.
His eyes widened a fraction as he saw Sabertooth's body, a dark pool already spreading around it.
"SABERTOOTH!"
And in that same moment, a red beam of pure, concussive force sliced through the cavern, blasting a hole in the wall.
(Cyclops! Thank you, you visually-challenged choir boy!)
"DONUT LORD!" Wade screamed, putting every ounce of his remaining breath into the shout. He pointed his katana at the massive machine in the middle of the cave. "SHOOT THE FUCKING MACHINE!"
Cyclops's optic blast hit the machine's core dead-on. The explosion was deafening, a wave of kinetic energy and force that washed over them.
(Isn't it punch energy from punch's dimension or something?)
/That's a stupid name, kinetic is way cooler and the writer and editorial is stupid for that!/
KRA-KOOM!
The moment the words left his mouth, Wade teleported–SPOOF–directly behind a momentarily distracted Magneto.
Magneto was thrown off balance, his cry of rage cut short as Wade's arms and legs snaked around him in a perfect, brutal full nelson, his knees digging into Magneto's back.
It was a move he'd learned in a dozen different dirty fights. A blood choke. He squeezed, cutting off the flow of air and blood to Magneto's brain.
The older mutant struggled, his strength surprising, his hands clawing at Wade's arms.
But Wade held on, locking his ankles, putting all his weight into it. "Shhh, shhh, just go to sleep, you majestic, metal-plated bastard," he grunted.
Magneto's thrashing grew weaker, his movements more frantic, then sluggish. Finally, with a final, choked gasp, he went limp in Wade's hold.
"Nighty-night, Gandalf."
Wade held the lock for a three-count longer than necessary, just to be sure, then released him, letting the unconscious leader of the Brotherhood slump to the floor.
Panting, Wade stood up as Rogue and Storm rushed into the cavern, a shambling, gelatinous figure between them.
Senator Kelly. His form was unstable, shimmering, his skin a translucent, wobbling mass.
The aborted conversion had left him in a horrifying, half-mutant state.
"Wade!" Rogue shouted, her voice filled with relief as she rushed toward him.
"MOM!" Wade shouted back with equal enthusiasm, throwing his arms wide open like he was in the final scene of a rom-com.
They collided in a tight embrace, Rogue squeezing him as if he might disappear again if she let go. Wade, of course, couldn't resist being his usual self, despite the emotional moment.
"Aw, shucks, Ma, if I knew a near-death experience would get me this much love, I would've done it sooner."
Rogue pulled back slightly, swatting his arm. "Don't joke about that, Wade!"
Logan smirked from the sidelines. "Kid never stops, does he?"
Wade grinned, still holding onto Rogue. "Nope! What can I say? I live for the drama, just like you and Uncle Vic. Guess it runs in the family."
Rogue rolled her eyes but smiled, clearly just happy to have him safe. "We're glad you're okay, sugah."
The cavern was a wreck.
Two of the world's most powerful mutants were down, one probably permanently.
The doomsday machine was a smoldering ruin.
Wade looked at the scene of destruction, then at his family and the shell-shocked X-Men.
"Okay," he said, brushing dust off his suit. "Who's hungry? I'm thinking tacos."
"You guys killed them!" Cyclops said, his voice a mixture of shock and accusation as he took in the scene of carnage.
Wade looked up from where he was casually poking the unconscious Magneto with his wooden katana. "No? Pretty sure Gandalf is just unconscious, I think. He's hard to kill since he still needs to be the butt of my jokes for the future arcs." He said it with utter nonchalance.
"Sabertooth, you idiot!" Scott snapped, gesturing to the headless body.
"Oh, that guy could regenerate anyway," Wade waved a dismissive hand. "Just put his head back on his body. Works every time for me! It's like a really gross, meaty Lego set."
Scott turned his bewildered visor towards Logan and Marie. "Is this how you raise your child?"
Logan, who had just retracted his claws, spotted a slight, rare smirk on his own face. Wade's energy was finally aimed at someone else for a change. "Like I said," he grunted. "He has been like this since forever."
"Hey! Hey hey!" Wade interjected, pointing at Scott. "How dare you pin my achievement on my parents! This! This is all me baby! En naturale!"
Rogue let out a long sigh, facepalming. "Wade has ADHD, please excuse him. Wade, sugar, we talked about this."
Before the argument could escalate, the sound of heavy, synchronized footsteps echoed through the cavern. A team of black-armored agents poured in, securing the perimeter with ruthless efficiency. Following them, looking as if he owned the very rock around them, was Nick Fury, with Agent Coulson a calm step behind.
"You are late, Mr. Motherfucker…" Wade said, shaking his head in mock disappointment. "Party's over. You fucker missed all the fun parts."
Fury's single eye rolled at the teenager. "You owe me one, kid!"
Wade responded by giving him a cheerful double middle-finger salute.
"You called Fury?" Logan asked, his brow furrowed.
"Yeah," Wade shrugged. "Someone had to clean up this mess. We owe him a no-questions-asked mission, though. Y'know, the standard rate."
"Who are you?" Cyclops and Storm asked in unison, utterly bewildered by this new, paramilitary element.
The man in the clean suit stepped forward, offering a placating smile. "I'm Agent Coulson, and this is Director Fury. We're from the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division."
"You got to shorten that, man," Wade called out. "So mouthful!"
"We are in the process of doing so," Coulson replied.
"Just called it SHIELD already! The guy writing this probably getting tired to google the long name then copy-paste it every time you said it!"
"..."
The SHIELD agents moved with practiced efficiency, placing advanced restraints on the unconscious forms of Magneto and Mystique, and securing a groggy, defeated Unus. Others began the grim task of bagging Sabertooth's body.
It was then that Senator Kelly, who had been shivering in a gelatinous state, began to convulse more violently. Fury moved with surprising speed, pulling a metallic collar from his coat and clamping it around the senator's neck. The device hummed, and Kelly's form stabilized slightly, the violent shimmering ceasing.
"Senator," Coulson said, moving to help him stand.
But it was too late. Even with the X-Gene suppressor, Kelly's mutated biology reached its catastrophic limit. With a wet, sickening POP, his body dissolved, then explosively liquefied, splattering across the cavern floor.
A heavy silence fell.
Fury stared at the puddle that was once a U.S. Senator. "Well, damn."
Wade broke the silence. "Now that guy is definitely dead... Well, I did try to save him. Seems the plot didn't like that" He clapped his hands together. "Anyway! Let's go home already! Let the pirates clean this up! I called him for a reason!" He looped his arms through his parents', energetically dragging them toward the exit.
Cyclops let out a world-weary sigh, turning to Fury and Coulson. "We'll… be in touch." He then signaled to Jean via his comms to bring the Blackbird for pickup.
As the Howlett family disappeared into the tunnel, followed by the dazed X-Men, Nick Fury looked at the puddle, the captured villains, and the general chaos.
"Coulson," he said, not taking his eye off the scene.
"Yes, sir?"
"Triple our budget for the aspirins."