Luke King. The quarterback. The golden boy. The guy who makes even Jack Richardson look like a clearance rack version of a human being.
He looks like he walked straight out of a teenage romance novel, the kind with shirtless guys on the cover that moms pretend they're not reading. Standing at a towering 6'5", he's tall enough that showers become a logistical nightmare. His skin is tanned, his body lean and muscular, built like someone who was personally sculpted by a committee of horny angels. His medium-length blonde hair has that "I just woke up like this" styling, but probably takes twenty minutes and three different products to pull off. His jawline could cut glass, and his piercing blue eyes are the kind that would instantly give girls butterflies. He's got shoulders that could support a small bridge and arms that suggest Olympic weightlifting is his idea of a light warm-up. His smile is easy and disarming, the kind that could convince you to hand over your credit card information without a second thought.
And he's walking right toward us.
"Hey, Luke," Jack says, his tone immediately shifting from school bully to golden retriever meeting its owner.
"I heard what you were saying," Luke interrupts, his voice still light but with an edge sharp enough to perform surgery. "You were out of line."
Jack's face goes through more expressions than a soap opera actor, shifting through surprise, defensiveness, and finally settling on sullen anger, like a toddler who got told no for the first time in his life. "I was just joking around."
"Didn't sound like a joke." Luke's smile doesn't waver, but it takes on this quality that could make grown men uncomfortable. "Apologize."
Silence. The cafeteria hasn't gone full movie-scene quiet, it's far too big for that, but people sitting at nearby tables have definitely tuned in like we're the day's entertainment. Jack looks like he's running complex calculations in his head, probably weighing which option makes him look less like a complete tool.
He chooses poorly.
"Sorry, Adam," Jack mutters, barely audible, staring at the floor like it personally wronged him. "Didn't mean anything by it."
It's possibly the least sincere apology in human history, and Luke knows it. He gives me an apologetic glance that somehow conveys "That's the best we're going to get" before turning back to Jack. "Come on, let's head back."
Luke claps Jack on the shoulder with the kind of casual dominance that makes it crystal clear who's actually running this show, and they start walking back toward the popular table. Jack glances back at me once, and his mouth moves silently: You're dead.
Fantastic. Really looking forward to that.
I watch them walk back. Luke with his easy confidence, Jack with his barely contained rage. And I realize something that sits in my stomach like a brick: I can't even bring myself to be jealous of Luke. Not really. Not the way I am with Jack.
Jack, I'm jealous of because he has things I want: height, muscles, the ability to exist in a room without people immediately looking for the nearest exit. But he's also a complete asshole, it feels like he's wasting his gifts. Like watching someone use a Ferrari to haul garbage.
But Luke? Luke is perfect. He's got the looks, the charm, the athletic ability, and, here's the kicker, he's a genuinely kind man. He's the kind of guy who makes you want to cheer for him, the kind of guy who convinces you to be better just by standing near him. He's popular, loved, successful, and on top of all that, he's a good person.
How am I supposed to be jealous of that? It's like being jealous of the sun for being bright. It just is.
My eyes drift to the popular table. Selene's there, laughing at something Elize said. Elize Fairchild, widely considered the most beautiful girl in school, and honestly? Fair. If Selene is a supermodel, Elize should be classified as whatever comes after supermodel. A megamodel? An ultramodel? She's sitting next to Luke, their shoulders almost touching, both of them radiating this golden aura that attractive people seem to generate naturally. I'm pretty sure if I got within five feet of either of them, I'd spontaneously combust.
The rest of the table looks like the casting for "Generic Teen Drama: The Series." Cheerleaders who've never experienced a bad hair day, football players whose biggest dilemma is probably choosing between full-ride scholarships, the kind of people who've never eaten lunch alone or wondered if they've been invited to an event because they're always invited. They're not even being exclusionary, they're just existing in a different reality, like how a whale wouldn't think about the emotional states of krill.
Bianca's there too, probably because Selene physically dragged her. She's just as attractive as her sister but with completely different energy: full goth makeup, black lipstick, dramatic eyeliner, the works. She looks about as comfortable as a cat at a dog show, but she's tolerating it because she enjoys her sister's company.
I could probably sit there if I really wanted to. Selene's invitation was genuine. But the gulf between that table and mine isn't just physical distance. It's the Grand Canyon of teenage hierarchies, I'm just not on their level. Even if they let me sit there out of familial obligation, I'd just be that guy. You know the one. The person everyone's polite to but secretly wishes would leave so the vibes could return to normal. I'd just be sitting there in deafening silence while they discuss parties I wasn't invited to and people I don't know, I'd just be slowly dying inside while pretending to have the time of my life.
Better to stay here in my corner of exile, where at least my awkwardness isn't inflicted on anyone else.
I sigh, and it comes out more bitter than I intended. The jealousy sits in my chest like a stone, heavy, cold, and unavoidable. I'm just jealous of their easy friendships, their confidence, their ability to exist in the world without constantly calculating the least awkward way to breathe. I'm jealous that they get to be people while I'm just... here.
But mostly, I'm just… sad. Sad that this is my life. Sad that the highlight of my day is going to be going home and pretending that none of this matters.
I finish my lunch quickly, mechanically, not really tasting it. Then, I throw away my trash, grab my bag, and head to my next class, trying not to think about Jack's silent threat or the way Selene looked disappointed when I didn't take her up on her offer. Trying, but mostly failing.
The rest of the afternoon stretches like a prison sentence: more classes where I'll know all the answers and say nothing, more hallways where I'll perfect my stealth techniques, more hours spent counting down until I can go home and stop pretending I'm fine with any of this.
Just another day in paradise.