Chapter 64: The Melancholy of Hiiro Rinko
"Although everyone in the village calls me a genius, I don't really think so. I've always thought that a 'genius' is someone who can take a flash of inspiration as fact, decide it's the correct direction, and immediately provide the answer."
"I'm just a mediocrity with a little bit of talent who simply imagines all possible scenarios, evaluates them equally one by one, and finds the only answer through elimination."
Hiiro Rinko deftly peeled back the skin on Kūren's arm, made incisions along the muscle fibers, and meticulously poured a strong acid solution over them.
Amidst the Amegakure Jōnin's short, heavy screams, Rinko reached out again and forcefully shoved his fingers through the man's navel into his abdominal cavity.
"If I could just honestly limit myself to one field, it would be fine. But a mediocrity like me always likes to let his mind wander. It's pathetic, really."
"The more you want to verify something, the more you have to think. The more you think, the more new problems arise. In the end, you realize there are many problems you can't solve, and all that worrying was just a waste of time."
"Although many people believe in the idea that 'if you think positively, humans can create and enjoy beautiful things in any situation,' I'm not quite that positive."
While rummaging through Kūren's internal organs, feeling their warm, slick texture—so different from a corpse—Rinko rambled on, complaining endlessly. His face wore an expression that anyone who knew him would find impossible to imagine.
He should always be proud, always confident, always flamboyantly displaying his talent—that was what everyone who knew him thought.
"My unreliable adoptive parents, my brother and sister-in-law, my cute little nephew, my lover, 'Vegeta,' Master Bunpuku... Sigh... just their existence is enough to fill the void in my life. In fact, at this point, I feel there are almost too many people. So many that I'm flustered and busy, so many that I don't have the extra mental capacity to consider irrelevant things."
"So I'm different from you. The village, the country... none of that matters. Although the old lady selling dates and the uncle at the dried fruit shop are nice people, they aren't nice enough for me to willingly sacrifice everything to protect the village for them. I just simply want to fulfill the hopes of my people."
Life is a massive lie, deceiving people early on into signing unequal contracts.
Birth, living environment... one has no right to choose any of it. In the end, one can only blindly rush down the path before them, seeking an ending, be it good or bad.
Someone once said that since the Babylonians created wisdom, humanity has become increasingly dull. But thinking about it carefully, perhaps this is just a helpless necessity.
The end of wars brought superficial peace, but the dissipating smoke also took away the residual warmth of the fierce fire ignited by the waves of revolution. In the end, all that was left for people was an era of increasing stagnation and chaos.
For people born in that other world, general peace is certainly something to rejoice in, even pray for. Yet the indifference and stagnation within the steel jungle also allow people to realize their own insignificance from an angle different from the bloody storms of the battlefield.
And how could the powerlessness born from this confusion not crush people with the force of a landslide?
If one doesn't become a little dull, it's easy to lose the courage and mental fortitude to keep living.
In the world Rinko once lived in, this ridiculous paradox was a common tragedy.
Perhaps that was another reason, besides Master Tengen's barrier, why Cursed Spirits were constantly born in that twisted, stagnant country.
It was precisely because he had been in a world he was powerless to change, masking the boredom of seeing through the flow of the times with 'willful experiments,' that Rinko hated that atmosphere even more.
But a plain and ordinary life is still life. Even if one is rotting, as long as one doesn't realize it, it's enough to live a rotting life where one might still encounter a little joy.
Even if one realizes they've been molded into a twisted, rotting shape by this damn society, if they haven't touched anything bright enough, they can barely comfort themselves and continue to live a rotting existence.
But what if... I say what if... those gloomy, heavy rain clouds truly parted one day to reveal the sun?
"There are many things and principles in this world that have their own logic. Figuring them all out is exhausting, and finding a balance between various ideals is an annoying, troublesome task. I have never had any intention of getting involved in that. Finding one principle that can convince myself is enough."
He cut open Kūren's ribs, using the sharp bone to scratch the man's abdominal cavity stroke by stroke, then used Medical Ninjutsu and Yang Release to heal his body. Rinko spat out words that seemed to carry a chilling frost in this humid country.
The stench of rot drifting through this world was different from the stagnant, old atmosphere of his past life. In fact, for him, such a bastard world was more comfortable.
But that was only when he was alone.
Just as the Third Kazekage had judged, life in Sunagakure had indeed created many bonds for Hiiro Rinko. Even if it was different from the 'love for the village' the Third had envisioned, it still made Rinko much softer.
The desire that makes one's eyes shine is just a superficial want. True longing is a throb that spreads from the bone marrow to the limbs.
If this itch had never been satisfied, Rinko could have endured it. But having truly been wrapped in and nourished by that warmth, he could never let go.
Just as Bunpuku had concluded back then, Hiiro Rinko was simply a person of deep, profound desire.
"Actually, I think if we left the village and stopped being shinobi, with our strength and brains, we could live pretty well. Open a small shop in the Land of Fire's capital, sell some strange little gadgets, and spend the rest of our lives leisurely. That wouldn't be bad. But I can't. The people I care about are all shinobi. So, for them, I have to work a little harder."
He crushed Kūren's gallbladder, slowly smearing the bitter, yellow-green bile into the throat of the man whose eyes had rolled back from unimaginable pain. Rinko cast Yang Release Medical Ninjutsu on him again.
"Come on, partner. We still have a long time. After all, I don't need to sleep~"