The noise of the admiral promotion ceremony faded like the retreating tide, leaving Renzo with nothing but severe sleep deprivation from waking up early, and a deep, nameless irritation.
He dragged his feet through the dispersing crowd like a piece of wilted seaweed, the only thought in his mind being to get back to his soft bed and make up for every second of lost sleep, preferably twice over.
Unfortunately, trouble didn't seem ready to let him go that easily.
Before he could even make it back to the dorms, a tall figure in a yellow-striped suit appeared directly in his path, slow-moving yet perfectly timed to block him.
Borsalino, or rather, the newly appointed Admiral "Kizaru", tilted his head slightly, the expression under his sunglasses caught between amusement and laziness.
"Yo~ Commodore Renzo~" he drawled, voice smooth and unhurried, carrying that familiar teasing tone.
"In such a hurry~? The ceremony just ended, you know~"
Renzo slowly lifted his heavy eyelids to glance at him, then let them fall again.
"...Going back... to sleep..."
His voice was so weak it sounded like each word drained his remaining life energy.
"How diligent~" Kizaru said, lips curving playfully. "Right after a grand ceremony and already throwing yourself into the 'pursuit of rest'~ how admirable~"
Renzo didn't respond. He just stared blankly, as if the effort of processing words was too much.
Kizaru smirked. "Still, standing up to sleep isn't all that comfortable, right? And~ you did disturb Sakazuki, you know~ he seemed~ very~ unhappy~" he said casually, watching Renzo's reaction from behind the shades.
Renzo's brow twitched slightly.
"...His speech... was too long... it made me sleepy..." he answered honestly, showing no sense of guilt whatsoever.
"And... whether he's happy or not... that's not my problem... too much trouble..."
Kizaru couldn't hold back a laugh, a genuine, surprised snicker that he quickly covered with a hand.
"My, my... such an honest answer~ but~ I suppose it does make a little sense~"
Leaning forward slightly, he lowered his voice, as if making a friendly offer.
"Speaking of which~ to celebrate my, ahem, my promotion to admiral~ my office just received some fine tea and rice crackers~ it's a bit boring to enjoy them alone~"
He gestured invitingly. "How about joining me~? You can tell me how you managed to piss Sakazuki off so badly... and still walk away unscathed~ I'm very curious about that~"
Renzo's eyes immediately sharpened with suspicion.
Tea? Conversation? In an admiral's office?
Those words, when combined, translated in his brain as: socializing, movement, noise, energy expenditure, the ultimate combination of trouble.
He shook his head, not very strongly but with unmistakable conviction.
"...No... too much trouble... I want to sleep..."
Kizaru wasn't offended in the slightest. In fact, he seemed more amused.
"Now, now~ don't refuse so quickly~ my office has a very soft sofa~ and it's ve~ry~ qui~et~ absolutely no one will come bother you~"
He emphasized "quiet" and "no one will bother you" deliberately, hitting Renzo's most vulnerable spot.
Renzo hesitated for exactly 0.1 seconds. A soft sofa and peace did sound nice... but walking there and talking first? That was already too much.
"...Still... too troublesome..." he muttered, and the moment passed.
Kizaru stared at him for a moment, utterly immovable, like a rock in the ocean. Then he chuckled.
Having such a man stationed here at headquarters, someone so lazy he couldn't even be manipulated by him, actually made life seem a bit more interesting.
"What a pity~" he said in mock disappointment, shrugging.
"Well~ I guess I'll enjoy it alone then~ Have a pleasant nap, Commodore Renzo~"
He waved lazily and strolled off, humming an off-key tune as he disappeared down the hall.
Renzo exhaled in relief, feeling as though he'd just avoided a Commodore catastrophe. Then, dragging his feet, he resumed his snail-paced march toward the dorms.
But apparently, today's "trouble" came in groups.
He had just reached the dormitory corridor when a suffocating wave of heat, anger, and restrained fury blocked his path like an invisible wall.
Sakazuki, the newly appointed Admiral "Akainu", stood there with his arms crossed, a towering mass of iron and lava. His stern face was a mask of frost and fire, and his sharp gaze seemed to pin Renzo in place.
He was clearly waiting for him.
"Commodore Renzo."
Akainu's voice was low, heavy, and full of pressure, every word like a stone ground between his teeth.
Renzo froze mid-step.
Facing this human volcano felt ten times more troublesome than dealing with Kizaru.
"...Admiral Akainu..." he greeted dryly, silently praying that the man was just passing through.
"Do you have any explanation for your disrespectful behavior at today's ceremony?" Akainu snapped immediately, his tone sharp and commanding, trying to crush Renzo under sheer force of will.
Unfortunately for him, that kind of oppressive energy activated Renzo's Domain of Absolute Sloth on instinct.
To Renzo, the air grew thick and muffled, Akainu's voice sounded as though it were coming through layers of water, distant and indistinct. The pressure didn't intimidate him at all; if anything, it made him feel sleepier... and more annoyed.
He yawned, eyes watering slightly, and said drowsily, "...Explanation? ...For what? ...I'm sleepy... forgot..."
That lazy indifference, as if the whole event hadn't even registered in his brain, poured gasoline on Akainu's temper.
"BASTARD!" he roared, stepping forward as molten heat surged around him. The ground under his boots began to darken and melt.
"The discipline and dignity of the Marines are not to be trampled upon! A lazy, dishonorable man like you is a stain on the uniform you wear!"
The heat and fury hit like a storm, enough to make lesser officers faint.
But to Renzo, it was just noise.
Hot, loud, and incredibly annoying.
He frowned deeply, voice thick with irritation.
"...So noisy... so hot... can you back off a bit... you're making things... troublesome..."
He hadn't even consciously activated his power, it was pure emotion.
But the effect was immediate.
[Passive Effect: Sloth Aura, Reflective Response]
Akainu suddenly felt a cold, creeping lethargy crawling up his spine, a dull, heavy sluggishness that spread from his fury itself.
His molten energy, once blazing and fluid, suddenly felt thick and unwilling to move, like magma that had grown lazy.
Worse, an intrusive thought slipped into his mind.
Is getting angry at this walking corpse of a man really worth my time? Maybe I should... just handle paperwork instead?
The moment he realized that, Akainu's rage flared even higher, not at Renzo, but at himself.
He'd actually been mentally influenced by this man's sheer laziness!
"You-!" He tried to muster more power, but it was like trying to sprint through quicksand. Even staying angry began to feel... exhausting.
The humiliation was unbearable.
And so they stood there, one fuming but trapped in invisible sludge, the other sleepy and annoyed, wishing the first would go away.
Eventually, Akainu realized the truth: no matter how much force he used, it was like punching air. Worse, he was the one getting dragged down.
Staying any longer would only make him look pathetic.
He glared at Renzo with eyes like molten iron, forcing out his words through clenched teeth:
"...You'd better watch yourself."
Then, with visible effort, as though pulling himself out of glue, he withdrew his aura and stomped off, each step leaving a faintly melted footprint in the floor.
Renzo blinked at the sight of the retreating admiral, confused but relieved.
"He's finally gone."
He let out a long breath, feeling the temperature drop. "Everyone today's been such a pain..."
Yawning hugely, he unlocked his dorm, tossed himself onto the bed like a discarded rag, and fell asleep almost instantly.
Outside, the corridor still bore the slowly cooling footprints, silent witnesses to a new admiral's humiliation.
And in his dreams, Renzo probably continued to complain.
Even after becoming admiral... still so noisy... so troublesome...