I'm eating with Artemis.Well, technically, I cooked for her and now I'm waiting for her critique like some obedient butler.
She wanted me to play along with her roleplay idea, so I leaned in and said,"Did you enjoy it, my lady? Would you like me to pour you more wine?" I whispered gently into her ear.
"Hmmm, you made quite a nice meal. How did you even get unicorn meat? Even gods can't get that easily," Artemis said, chewing gracefully.
She was right.
Damn, unicorns can bend time itself, they can jump through different eras and spaces, usually to the past; the future's harder.
"I had to perform several temporal jumps. I killed it in a single strike to avoid damaging its body," I said.
Artemis finished her meal and slammed her hand on the table. "Bring me my pudding. NOW!"I placed all three puddings in front of her, perfectly arranged.
"YUM YUM," she growled and attacked them like they were her eternal enemies.
One, two, and barely the third — she devoured them all and then patted her stomach. "Hmm, I'm so full."
"Finished?" I asked with a grin.
Acting like a butler wasn't part of the plan, but since Artemis could still smell Hel's scent on me — and before she swore to hunt me for eternity, I accepted the butler role to calm her down.
Artemis narrowed her eyes. "Do you want me to send you to my uncle?"
Her "uncle" meant Hades. That's probably the last place I should go. Though I do want to meet Cronos… unfortunately, he's in Tartarus.
"Well, your uncle's fair like Hel, but I don't want to see his wife. If I do, I'll attack her with everything I've got. That's how much I hate her."
Artemis's eyes trembled.
She knew I wasn't joking; she'd seen that look only when I harvested souls.
Even now, Micah's soul was still suffering. I didn't absorb it; I'm planning to torture it for a few thousand years.
In the subspace where I keep souls, time flows differently there; one day there equals a year subspace.
I test new torture techniques as often as possible. Micah isn't the only one there, of course.
Torturing souls is like the process of turning grapes into wine.A good wine is aged.The same goes for souls… to a point.
Artemis stood up, and I followed her to her room. She had made this place much more cheerful."Hmm, now give me a massage," she said, jumping onto the bed and lying on her stomach.
"Hmm, my lady, please tie up your hair and keep only your underwear on," I said, keeping up the act.
If I was going to be humiliated, she was coming down with me.
Artemis took off everything except her underwear, just like I asked.
"Well? What are you waiting for?" she said, returning to her pose.
I sighed and pulled out the massage oil.I'd prepared this earlier.
I promised her a proper massage.I channeled Aether into my hands, and they began glowing with a soft, bending light. The space around us shimmered.
Artemis shivered; even divine beings didn't know this kind of energy.
I placed my hands on her shoulders. From the "Cultivator Massage Techniques" section of my mental library, I recalled the steps.
Even cultivators can be useful sometimes… even if their techniques have cringe names.
I slowly spread the oil over Artemis's body."Ahhh, Raul, slow down!" she gasped.
"No, Artemis, a proper massage takes time," I replied, ironically slowing down even more.
Her skin was pale; her hair spread softly over the sheets. I could feel her ears turning red.I touched everywhere except her special zones.
Artemis passed out from pleasure long before I finished. I gently moved her lips with my hand to make sure she was still breathing.
Then I lifted her and teleported to another part of the moon.
I turned a crater into a hot spring, adjusted gravity so water could exist, and looked down at the half-naked goddess in my arms.
She was wearing blue underwear with rose patterns.
I turned my head away and tossed her into the hot spring like a rugby ball. Splash.
"You bastard! You could've woken me up like a normal person!" Artemis shouted, pointing at me.
I started undressing too.
I always wear suits.
"Wha— what are you doing?! AHHHHH!" she yelped as I jumped in, water splashing everywhere.
"Yo, crybaby, our deal's over," I teased.
We started wrestling in the water, her hands grabbing mine. "Come on, bastard, do me a favor and die!" she said, pushing me underwater.
Her whole face was steaming, probably because it was the first time she'd seen my bare body.
I was still wearing underwear, but the muscle definition was enough to make her blink twice.
Definitely not the reaction of a goddess thinking clearly.
Then I made an unexpected move — I got behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist."W-what the hell are you doing?" Artemis stammered.
"Uhhh—" And then— BOOM. I lifted her and slammed her deep into the water with a suplex.
"Ha! That's what happens when you mess with me, idiot goddess," I said proudly.
But then, pain in my leg. "Goddammit, Artemis, are you a dog?!" I yelled. She was biting me — hard.
Even though she used divine strength, she couldn't pierce my skin.
I raised my leg, and her head popped up like a stubborn puppy refusing to let go of a bone.
"Uh, Artemis, sorry, I didn't mean—""Hmmmppph!" she mumbled, refusing to release me.
I looked at her — I didn't want to hurt her. The suplex had done no real harm thanks to the water.Still, the emotional damage was there.
"Sooo, how about this, when I start streaming, I'll introduce you as my girlfriend," I said.
Artemis immediately stopped biting and looked up. "You're serious?"
"Yeah, but you're not actually my girlfriend. Just to be clear, I see you more like a little sister."
Then I felt a punch in my stomach. "I know, idiot!" she snapped.
I sighed. "Yeah, well, this way, when I enter the academy, girls will think I already have someone and won't try to hit on me."
"Hmm, okay… I'm coming with you to the academy anyway," she said, but I cut her off."You can come, but promise not to reveal your divine power, or you'll expose me."
Artemis nodded quickly. "OK!" she said, giving me a thumbs-up.
"Alright, let's go — we've got a stream to start," I said, lifting her princess-style again.
For Greek gods, nudity isn't a big deal, but for Artemis, this whole experience was something new…
Later, Raul and Artemis sat by the fireplace in their house, relaxing.The stream was about to begin.