"HAAAH!"
I gasped hard and my eyes shot open.
...Huh? What... what just happened?
I tried to breathe, pulling air into my lungs desperately at first before letting it out slowly as my body started to calm down. With time, my breathing normalized and my vision, which had been completely blurry, adjusted enough to let me focus on my surroundings. The first thing I noticed made me frown.
"My ceiling," I muttered while staring up at the familiar wooden beams above me.
Then I heard a voice. "Seems you're awake, master."
That voice. I knew it.
"Veronica?" I tried to move but something held me back. When I looked down at my arms, I saw ropes binding them to the bedframe. I was tied up.
"It's me alright. You're not dreaming," she said as she stepped close enough for me to see her clearly.
She wasn't smiling. She was mad. REALLY mad. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd seen her like this.
"What's the meaning of this?" I asked while trying to pull free, but the binds were tied solid. There was no escaping without external help or mana.
"What's the meaning of this?" She raised an eyebrow as she repeated my question back to me, then let out what I assumed was supposed to be a chuckle, though her eyes remained completely emotionless. "Fine, let me tell you. I gave you too much freedom when you clearly weren't mentally capable of handling it, and that resulted in a series of bad decisions that almost led to your death. So from now on, you WILL be a good boy and remain in bed until we're out of this world, okay?"
She sat down on the bed as she spoke, ruffling my hair with a smile that didn't reach her eyes at all. Those eyes were still lifeless, cold in a way that made my stomach turn.
"Let me go, Veronica. You don't have to tie me up. I'm not leaving the mansion again," I said, hoping reason would work here.
She shook her head. "I'm sorry, but no matter what you say or do, I will NEVER allow you to step out the doors of this room. You WILL remain here until the day we return to Atlantis." She patted my head once more before standing up to leave.
"Wait," I called out.
She stopped and looked back at me. "What is it, Art?"
I sighed. "How did you find me? What happened?"
Her expression darkened immediately. She just stared at me for a long while before finally answering. "I... found you lying in the middle of a wasteland. The monsters, the forest, EVERYTHING was gone. I don't know what happened, but it seems like this world is falling apart."
She had an odd expression on her face as she sat back down on the bed. "Sighs." The sound escaped her lips before her expression grew softer, more vulnerable than I'd ever seen it. "Did you find what you were looking for, master?"
A single tear rolled down her left cheek. She clenched her teeth hard, clearly holding back from breaking down completely.
"Did you find what was worth your life?"
I looked at her for a long while, processing the question and everything it meant. Then I closed my eyes. "I don't think so... I didn't," I whispered.
She hugged me immediately, and I felt her body trembling as she cried against my chest.
Sighs.
I was tired. Really tired. Maybe it was just exhaustion, or maybe it was something deeper than that. Maybe it was knowing that I would forever remain powerless, that I myself had placed a curse on Artemis. I cursed my own self with something that would follow me to the end of my life. A curse that, just as in the previous run, never left and would still keep me caged in that fate of forever being just one boy with a grudge and so much hatred for everything that at some point... he just gave up and sold his soul to the horrors dwelling within this world.
'I'm sorry, Artemis.'
For once, I felt SO much guilt that my eyes blurred.
Am I crying? Yeah, I must be.
I must have poured out all my frustrations on this version of myself without even realizing it. While Lucian had everything and was set for a happy life with people who genuinely cared and were willing to risk their lives for him, Artemis only saw hatred all his life. From his memories, all I see is a boy who just wanted a little attention, who just wanted someone to say, 'You matter, Artemis.'
But those words never came. His life only got worse by the day, the hatred for him spreading even when he reached the academy. He was never once loved. Not even once.
Fuck. I feel like a monster now.
I thought I wrote my novel because I wanted to see what a good ending looks like. But it seems that's not the case after all. I just wanted to let it all out on something, to write out what I really felt inside, the loneliness I always carried.
But I created something even worse than that. One silly kid who learned the hard way that he was never going to be anything more than what they saw him to be, and one day became a monster.
...I am so sorry.