Three days had passed since Urara's fifth-place finish in the Shoryu Stakes.
For Urara, the next race was at least a month away, and the most immediate race for Team Kitaruha was Rice's Osaka Hai.
So, I had been focusing on Rice's training for the Osaka Hai, but...
(Rice is in good form, but Urara's form is poor... It's like she's spaced out, or can't concentrate...)
Since the Shoryu Stakes, Urara's condition has been visibly worsening. She's as bright and smiley as ever, but every so often, she'll go blank-faced, shake her head, and then smile again as she works hard in training.
Urara usually recovers from a bad mood after a good night's sleep, but this has been going on for three days. She isn't injured; she just seems to lack motivation.
However, this can't go on. Not only could it have a bad influence on Rice, but continuing training in a listless state could lead to injury. Plus, I don't want her to develop bad habits while running.
"Rice, you keep training as you are. One 2000-meter run on the turf, one 2000-meter run on the dirt, five sprints on the wood chip course, and then five sprints on the uphill course."
"And to be careful not to get hurt, right?"
"Yeah, that's right... And Urara. You come here. Let's talk for a bit."
I called Urara over and motioned for her to sit on a nearby bench. I chose a spot not too far from the training course so I could still observe Rice's training.
"Let's get this old body down... Ah, shoot. That sounded like an old man."
"...Yeah, it did."
I deliberately made a sound as I sat on the bench, and Urara sat down right next to me. Normally, she would laugh and say, "Trainer, you sound like an old man!" and dig into my heart...
"What's wrong? You haven't been yourself lately, Urara."
While feeling frustrated that I had caused this, I asked with feigned ignorance. Urara looked up at my face from the bench but quickly looked down.
"Lately... something feels a little weird."
"Weird, how?"
"Mmm... But I don't want to say because you might get mad."
"......"
Urara's rejection left me speechless. No, not just speechless, but completely shocked.
(C-calm down, me... I'm about to cry, but calm down... If she really didn't want to talk, she wouldn't have brought it up herself... So she actually wants to talk... Right? That's right, isn't it?)
I felt like kneeling on the ground and wailing regardless of who was watching. But I somehow managed to open my mouth calmly, yes, calmly.
"Have I ever gotten mad at you, Urara? I won't get mad, so tell me."
I spoke as gently as possible. I felt a tear well up in the corner of my eye, but I told myself it was just my imagination.
"Lately, running hasn't been as fun as it used to be... I think?"
But the words Urara hesitantly spoke made me feel as if I had been doused in cold water.
(The incident at the Shoryu Stakes hit her harder than I thought... No, it feels like it affected her in a way I hadn't anticipated.)
Urara kept glancing at me, as if to check whether I would really not get angry. But I had no intention of getting angry; in fact, I felt a sense of guilt as I decided to ask her the reason.
"Do you know why?"
"Hmm... Is it because I lost to Falco-chan the other day... No, maybe it's been since I lost to Oguri-chan?"
Urara herself probably didn't understand her own condition well. I secretly bit my lip as I watched Urara talk while tilting her head.
(Urara seemed fine even when she lost to Oguri Cap... But I guess she really did have some thoughts about it.)
That's how amazing Oguri Cap's running was. And losing in the Shoryu Stakes the other day must have had a big impact on her as well.
But if it's not that she's frustrated about losing but that running itself isn't fun anymore, that's a huge problem. Urara doesn't seem to have sorted out her emotions, but if I'm not careful, she might lose her motivation completely.
"I see..."
"Yeah..."
When I mumbled while searching for words, Urara nodded slightly and said. Is my inability to immediately think of what to say in a situation like this due to my inexperience as a trainer? Since I hadn't even anticipated a pattern like this, inexperience is not a sufficient excuse.
(I wasn't naive enough to think she would get motivated and frustrated just by losing, but so this is how it turns out... What's the right thing to say?)
I thought this and then shook my head, thinking, "Wait."
(There is no right answer... Urara, who had never lost her mood like this after a loss, is showing this for the first time. I have to figure out how to use this, me...)
Should I tell her, "I put you in that race knowing this would happen"?
That would be a bad move. What if she thought I sent her to the race expecting her to lose, not to win? Smart Falcon's lead run was truly unexpected, but I can't back down on the fact that I sent her out believing she had a chance to win.
Should I comfort her by saying, "It was just bad luck"?
There's definitely an element of luck in racing, but this is also a no-go. That would only be a temporary comfort. No, if she thinks she can lose due to bad luck no matter how much she practices, she might lose even more motivation.
Should I try to motivate her by saying, "You lost because the opponent was strong and you were weak"?
I don't think that would motivate Urara. Rice might get fired up if I told her that, but Urara isn't that type.
Several ideas popped into my head and then vanished. What words would resonate the most with Urara—I threw all my thoughts away at that point.
I thought that not using such a trick would resonate more with Urara.
"Hey, Urara... what kind of Umamusume do you want to be in the future?"
I asked while watching Rice run on the course.
"The future?"
"Yeah. I often hear you say you want to have fun running in races and feel excited, but I was wondering if you had a goal."
In truth, I should have had this conversation much earlier. This is something I should have confirmed right after taking her on as my charge.
But I hadn't done that. When I first started training Urara, I didn't have the mental capacity to think about such things, and when I thought I had become a little more competent, I had fallen into the trap of thinking I understood Urara.
"I've also heard you say you want to win a race, and that you want to dance in the Winning Live. When Rice was in the Arima Kinen, you said you wanted to be in a G1 too, right? How do you feel now? What are you thinking?"
I asked it as a genuine question, not as a reprimand. I leaned back on the bench, crossed my legs, and spoke as if it were a normal conversation.
"Speaking of which, long ago... no, not that long ago. When you couldn't win your maiden race, I told you I wanted you to get first place, remember? You won your maiden race and we accomplished that, but now that I think about it, I never properly heard the answer to that question."
"...Answer?"
"Yeah... What did it feel like when you got first place in your maiden race?"
I had never asked her that in words. I had heard her say things like "it was fun" and "I was happy" countless times, and seeing her dancing in the Winning Live, I didn't think it was necessary to ask.
Because Urara's smile as she danced in her first Winning Live was so eloquent and genuine.
"It was... yeah, it was really fun."
She must have remembered that time. Urara's face softened, and her mouth curved into a smile.
"Compared to that time, what does it feel like now?"
"It's not fun... No, it feels like my chest hurts. Like, it's spinning around and around, like a whirlpool."
The contrast between what was probably the most fun moment for Urara and her reality now. As I tried to make her realize this, Urara put her hand on her chest and made a puzzled face.
Then she poked the sides of her head with her fingers and made a face as if she had drunk something sour.
"And my head feels all 'eek!' like, 'eek!'"
"Haha... H-hey, you're making a funny face, Urara..."
I couldn't help but smile at the funny face Urara was making.
At the same time, I sighed internally, "Ah, I see."
(Maybe I really don't have the talent to be a trainer...)
I thought I understood Urara completely. I thought we trusted each other and that I knew everything about her. Such a foolish thought.
—Because, look, I didn't even notice that Urara was feeling an emotion like this.
"Urara, that... is called 'frustration.'"
"...Frustration?"
Hearing my words, Urara's face went blank. She widened her eyes as if she had never heard that word before.
"I think... I feel it all the time, and I don't think I'm wrong."
"Frustration... You feel that too, Trainer?"
"Of course. When you lose, I feel frustrated and sad. I get so angry at myself for not being able to make you win, and I hate myself. I wonder if I could have done better, if I could have raised you better."
When I think Urara lost due to my own lack of ability, my stomach twists, and I feel like I'm boiling from the inside.
I was speaking playfully, but my right fist was clenched, making a creaking sound. The injuries from punching the desk have healed, but now I feel like I'm going to punch the bench.
"Frustration... frustration..."
Urara, who heard my words, mumbled them repeatedly. And then, all of a sudden, she spoke in a tone of understanding.
"I see... I'm frustrated."
It was a small, quiet word, but it had a definite resonance. When I nodded in response to her words, I saw tears welling up in Urara's eyes.
"Urara..."
"Eh? Huh? That's weird... I'm crying."
Urara laughed and wiped her tears away. The Umamimi on her head drooped forward like a wilted flower, and her tail hung limply on the bench.
Seeing Urara's state, I reached out my hand to pat her head to comfort her—but I clenched it and moved it away.
"You see, Urara. I heard you say before that you want to have fun running in races and have exciting races, and I thought that was okay. I thought that being able to say you had fun with a smile even when you lost was just like you."
Instead of patting her head, I spoke to her. I felt that words were more needed than comfort right now.
"But, seeing you train so hard every day, I couldn't be satisfied with just that. I want you to get first place, I want you to win... I don't want you to feel frustrated or sad like you are now."
"...Yeah."
"But, it's impossible for me to just wish for it. There are opponents you can't beat unless you want to win."
I've been training Urara with all my power, and I will continue to do so. But when it comes to Umamusume like Oguri Cap, El Condor Pasa, Smart Falcon, and Taiki Shuttle, whether she can cross that final line will depend on Urara's feelings.
"I think that's the difference between you and the other girls. A strong feeling of not wanting to lose, like the run Rice showed in the Arima Kinen, is what decides the winner in the very end."
"...Yeah. But I've never had a feeling like that..."
Urara looked down at her knees like a child afraid of being scolded. Her posture seemed to suggest that she was ashamed of not having such a strong feeling.
"Then, you can have it from now on."
"...From now on?"
Urara looked at me with a puzzled face at my unhesitating answer.
"That's right, from now on. You've always wanted to have fun running, wanted to win races, wanted to be in the Winning Live, and wanted to be in G1s, right? Now all you have to do is add the feeling of not wanting to lose and wanting to win to that."
"Mmm... Is that all there is to it?"
"For now, that's all. And once you start feeling like you don't want to lose and you want to win, you'll probably start to see what you want to feel that way about... I think."
I ended my sentence with a vague phrase. This was the time to be decisive, but I was worried that in Urara's case, it might not really be that simple.
"You 'think'?"
"Yeah, I 'think.' I'm a trainer, not an Umamusume. It's pathetic, but I don't know if you'll feel that way... As for my feelings, there's a lot, like making you win against Oguri Cap in the next race we clash in, or making you win even if your opponent is Smart Falcon."
In truth, my role should be to cleverly guide Urara to feel that way. However, I don't know how to motivate an Umamusume with Urara's personality.
Just the fact that Urara can feel frustrated is a huge step forward. If possible, I want to give Urara a solid goal.
(Should I set a goal for her and have her work towards it? No, this is a good opportunity. Let's talk more.)
It might work out if I set a goal like, "Beat that Umamusume" or "Get first place in this race." But with something like this, Urara's own will is important.
"You don't have to call it a goal, but is there anything you want to do? For example... ah, it seems Smart Falcon wants to become a Uma-Idol."
I don't really know what a Uma-Idol is, but from her behavior in the Shoryu Stakes, I can tell that she's trying to act like one.
Urara showed a sign of 고민 (worry) at my words, but then she looked away into the distance. I followed her gaze, and there was Rice, working hard in her training.
"I want to run in a race wearing a racing uniform, just like Rice-chan..."
"A racing uniform, huh... Yeah, that sounds good."
A racing uniform is a special outfit for an Umamusume. It's stipulated that they can only be worn in G1 races, and because of that, if you don't have the ability and track record to run in a G1 race, you can't even get your own racing uniform, let alone wear it.
Wearing a racing uniform, running in a G1 race, getting first place, and being the center of the Winning Live. That could be a goal for an Umamusume, a destination.
In races other than G1s, they wear a standard Winning Live outfit, but many Umamusume will fight tooth and nail in a race if it means they can sing and dance in their own special racing uniform.
In Urara's case, she said she wants to run in a race wearing a racing uniform. That's why I asked her.
"Since you want to wear a racing uniform, what about the Winning Live? Do you not want to be in it?"
"...I do... Yeah, I want to!"
When I asked, Urara must have imagined herself doing a Winning Live in a racing uniform she hadn't seen yet. Her droopy Umamimi perked up, and her tail regained its energy, wagging from side to side.
Urara had said she wanted to win a race, but she never specified what kind of race she wanted to win. I thought that was Urara's weakness, but...
"If you want to win a G1 and dance in the Winning Live, you'll need to beat Umamusume like Oguri Cap and Smart Falcon. First of all, you'll have to win in open-class races or graded stakes races with easier entry requirements. Are you still willing to challenge that?"
"Mmm... Hmm... Hmm..."
When I asked her that, Urara looked as if she were deep in thought for some reason. She poked her head with her index finger and swayed from side to side, and in the end, she smiled.
"Yep! Because if I'm with you, I can win, just like in the maiden race!"
"――――"
Her words, accompanied by such a dazzling smile, left me speechless. What I saw in her was an innocent trust that could make my cheeks twitch.
It was a smile that showed she completely believed that if she was with me, she could win, that I would make her win.
(She wants me, someone who's been a trainer for less than a year, to win in open-class and G1s in the junior class, let alone graded stakes, and then win in G1s in the classic and senior classes? She's throwing an incredible challenge at me with a smile on her face.)
I spoke to myself in my mind while looking at Urara's face. Urara's face was earnestly waiting for an answer.
(Honestly, this girl... my favorite horse girl... Unbelievable... Alright, let's do it.)
I said that Urara was an Umamusume without a goal, but I, too, had only had the goal of making her win races without getting hurt. I can't say that I wasn't aiming higher just because Urara said she wanted to be in a G1.
But that's right, that's right. I've been so fascinated by the brilliance of this Umamusume, of Urara. Why not aim for something higher than an open-class race—I want to make Urara win on the G1 stage.
It's a different story than making Rice win the Arima Kinen. Even though the talent pool in dirt racing is shallow, there are still several Umamusume who are better than Urara right now.
To sweep those opponents aside and make Urara win a G1 and be the center?
That's the best thing ever. As Urara's trainer, there could be no better goal.
—Because, you know, I'm Haru Urara's trainer.
I was supposed to give Urara a goal, but before I knew it, a goal had sprouted in me as well. Urara's words and attitude had perfectly pushed a switch that was somewhere deep inside me.
Just like before, I will never let either Urara or Rice get hurt. On top of that, I will aim for something higher.
"Then next time, Urara... We're going to win for sure. No matter who the opponent is."
"Ooh! We're definitely not going to lose next time! Alright! Let's go practice right away!"
When I stood up from the bench, Urara also stood up from the bench with great energy. And then, we started walking side by side. There was no sign of Urara's bad mood from before, and the feeling of anguish I had inside had disappeared without me even noticing.
And as we walked, I saw Rice look at us and smile softly.
And so, what we faced was not the Furyu Stakes in early April—no.
It was the Osaka Hai, where Tokai Teio, Mejiro McQueen, Nice Nature, and Ikuno Dictus were running.
It was a 2000-meter turf race held at the Hanshin Racecourse. The time for Rice's first G1 race of the year, now in her senior year, was approaching.
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