"Please," Taehyeon says solemnly as he grasps Bada's wrist. "Let me eat the cheesiest parts."
Bada couldn't win an argument against a blank sheet of A4 so there isn't any chance of him having enough will to stand up to Taehyeon on a matter as important as this. He does sheepishly ask, "Are you sure it is safe for you to eat this much cheese in one go?"
Obviously it isn't safe for anyone to eat this much cheese in one go but Taehyeon is in the midst of a crisis. Whilst he is choking down some tteokbokki with his molten cheese, Bada asks an awful question.
"Did you just stare at him like a gormless weirdo the whole time you were in there?"
Taehyeon did in fact stare at THE Lee Minjun the entire time they were in the nurse's office together.
"In my defence," Taehyeon asserts with strings of cheese hanging out of his mouth, "he was just talking. He hit himself in the face with a hockey stick whilst trying to stop anyone from running into a butterfly. What am I supposed to say to that? It was raining and it's autumn. He was probably being chivalrous over a leaf. Sure, I'm a great guy, a brilliant conversationalist, and the sharpest wit you know but even I couldn't think of anything to say to him."
Bada squeezes his hand sympathetically. Or he might be pulling Taehyeon's hand away from his face so he can't poke anything else into his mouth.
"Aren't you disappointed though? You had your chance to speak to him and make an impression and you blew it."
"Could you be any more unsympathetic? I still have some feelings left for you to trample over."
"I'm just saying, if it was me, I would have used the situation in my favour. Did you not even think about pretending to trip so you could fall onto his lips. He'd have to remember you if you kissed him."
"Are you just trying to say as many stupid things to me as possible?" Taehyeon grumbles. "How could I kiss him out of nowhere? He'd have just thought I was weird and I would have had to change schools from the embarrassment."
Bada says something under his breath, very likely something about Taehyeon being a drama queen, and then politely audibly he says, "Everything embarrassing that you did aside, I trust Minjeong. I don't think she will tell anyone even if she did look in your book. She's nice."
Kim Minjeong is not nice. Taehyeon narrows his eyes at Bada and helps himself to a heaping spoonful of tteokbokki and makes sure there's hardly any left for his terrible friend.
"You only 'trust' Minjeong because the secret she told everyone about you made it sound like you're not a virgin. I don't trust her in the slightest."
"Well if she does tell, you can pretend it's not you. There's got to be like seven other people from our school called Taehyeon. If anyone accuses you of liking a boy you have plausible deniability."
Plausible deniability. Taehyeon rolls his eyes knowing full well that he would be the most likely suspect if the rumour does spread. Something about his running total of zero girlfriends is enough to put him at the top of the list. Although Bada is right about there being a fair few Taehyeons at their school, none of them have the same surname as him (and that is what Taehyeon had been strongly focused on when one of the other Taehyeons was exposed for having six girlfriends at once. Not a single person at school mistook Taehyeon for the serial cheater Taehyeon. Bada never seemed to believe himself when he claimed Taehyeon escaped suspicion because he seems more chivalrous than that so it would have been stupid for Taehyeon to believe his friend's white lies. The surname thing is why nobody thought of him. There aren't any other reasons.)
"You're taking my impending social assassination pretty well considering you're supposed to be my best friend," Taehyeon glowers. "I'll remember this when you're going through a crisis."
Bada grins and opens his can of lemonade. "Just chill out. Forget about it, Motae. I bet we'll go to school tomorrow and nobody will have heard anything. If it will cheer you up I can try to set you up with someone from Eoleunjeol Technical College. Lots of cute guys and they are all brain boxes. Think about it."
Taehyeon rolls his eyes. "I don't need some boffin being condescending because I don't know what the hell convection means."
Everything is a joke to Bada and that's why he's laughing like this is a cute little story time.
"When someone from a technical school offers to tutor you, accepting is the right thing to do," Bada says knowingly. "Someone else might make that offer again if you're lucky. You can't tell me that you don't need it."
Perhaps Taehyeon is contrary for the sake of it. Before this conversation he might well have agreed that he needs all the help he can get to gain an edge in the exam rankings. Right now, Taehyeon isn't going to trust any opinion from someone who gets so worked up about some speccy nerds.
***
After the day Taehyeon has had it would be the perfect time to unwind. He can't even manage that much. He pathetically quits a Dynasty of Destruction battle midway through when he realises that he can't even muster up the focus to not get completely obliterated in the game. He can't concentrate. He supposes that he should try the homework he has been avoiding but that makes things worse.
Taehyeon knows that he needs to contact Minjeong before he turns up at school with his social life in tatters. In normal circumstances Taehyeon wouldn't give his phone number to Kim Minjeong if she was the last person on earth. Luckily for Taehyeon, their genius of a class president forced everyone to join the Year 2 Class 4 group chat at the beginning of the year. Taehyeon can just get her number from there.
← Kim Minjeong
Mo Taehyeon
Hi. It's Mo Taehyeon. Did you read anything interesting today?
Kim Minjeong
???????
Mo Taehyeon
It's Taehyeon from school. I sit behind you for 7 hours every day.
We're in a study group together.
Kim Minjeong
Right. I just don't get why you are messaging me or what you mean.
Taehyeon needs to be very careful here. He has been delaying actually opening any of his books for homework because he has been nervously awaiting each one of Minjeong's responses. If he doesn't guard his words carefully he might just give himself away (that is if the stupid scribbles in his textbook weren't enough of a clue). It takes Taehyeon a while but he thinks he comes up with an innocent enough response.
← Kim Minjeong
Mo Taehyeon
You're the most well-connected person in the class, aren't you? I just wondered whether you'd come across anything interesting.
Newsworthy.
Gossip, if you must be crass.
That does it.
← Kim Minjeong
Kim Minjeong
Who do you want dirt on? The price depends on who you want to know about.
Mo Taehyeon
There's nobody in particular. I just wanted to know if you heard anything today.
Kim Minjeong
No.
She's lying. Taehyeon knows that she must be lying before exposing him in front of everyone they know. It isn't fair. Taehyeon can't help the fact he was an idiot at some point too long ago for him to have made sense of the words on the page he had idly drawn over.
← Kim Minjeong
Mo Taehyeon
Can you just tell me if you've heard anything about people from our class?
Minjeong doesn't respond. Taehyeon's life is going to be over before he even got a chance to live it.