Michael made up his mind to talk to Tosin—he had to. He needed answers that no one else could give him but her. So, he returned to his room that morning, took a quick bath, put on his tracksuit, and headed out to the field.
But something about the field felt different. It seemed emptier, more barren than it used to be.
The gamblers were gone, the smokers nowhere to be found, and the wooden bleachers were nearly empty. Only a few players were on the football pitch, the entire place feeling deserted. The usual energy had vanished, and so had Tosin.
She hadn't been to the field in two months. A few weeks after she was last seen, a big fight had broken out here, and Tosin had disappeared in the aftermath.
The authorities got involved and a few of them were detained but released shortly. They also investigated for drug use but only found traces of cigarettes and alcohol.
They were clean.
The parents of the kids who were arrested raised complaints about the field, citing the negative influence it had on their children. They demanded the field be shut down.
As a result, the field was closed during the investigation and remained off-limits until recently, when it was declared safe after a thorough inspection and renovation. It was finally reopened to the public.
It had been three weeks since the reopening but the field was still dull and uneventful. Most of the guys who were arrested didn't bother coming to the field anymore.
Among them was Rodney, although he didn't stop coming to the field. He tried to bring back the life of the field after the closure.
His plans unfortunately, consistently fell threw. He was surprised when he saw Michael after such a long time. Michael went over to Tosin's favorite spot and sat down waiting for her.
He had been there since ten in the morning and it was getting late in the evening, around the time the field closed for the day.
Everyone had left but Michael. He had his headphones on and buried his face in his phone.
"Hey, bro. How far?"
Rodney walked over to him.
"I haven't seen you in a while."
"When did we become bros? I thought you hated me from the start. What's with the sudden niceness? You couldn't care less in the past."
"I never hated you man, I guess I was… just kinda jealous."
He interrupted.
Michael put down his headphones.
"Jealous of me? Some obnoxious schoolboy who thinks he can play soccer?"
"Not that. I don't care if you play football. I guess I was jealous of your relationship with T."
"The hell are you saying man?"
Rodney looked down on the greens, his gaze distant as he began to speak.
"When Tosin moved over to the estate about a year ago, this was the first place she came. I was just some bully whose only job was to make life hell for the newbies. It was all I had. Then she came and stripped me of it. She took charge of the gambling, the field and everything. I'd never seen a girl with so much power. She surpassed me and made me her second. I had a crush on her but never got myself to tell her. I managed to hide this all this time until you showed up. At some point, I started noticing how close you guys got and… I envied it. I wanted to make life hell for you in the estate but she stopped me. That's when I knew… I discovered then that she had feelings for you."
Michael looked at him confused.
"What are you even saying man? Tosin? Has feelings for me?"
He laughed sarcastically.
"I know it sounds super weird, and believe me, it was hard for me to accept at first. It took me a while to realize, but that's the truth. As painful as it is, I couldn't keep lying to myself. Tosin has never opened up to anyone the way she has with you. When you left, she stopped coming around. She cut off every contact she had with anyone here. I went over to her place to talk, and that's when she told me everything."
"What did she say to you?"
"I'm sorry, but I promised her I wouldn't say anything to anyone, especially not you. She made me swear… But, I just wish I could take away the guilt she feels. I tried to make her forget about you, but it didn't work. She couldn't. I felt so helpless. All I could do was come here every day and sweat it out. I was never good enough for her. She loves you and she deserves to be happy. I know I promised her I wouldn't tell you, and the friendship I have with her might end if she finds out. But if this is what it takes to see her happy, then so be it."
"Hell no!!"
Michael snapped.
" You want me to go see the same girl who I clearly remember left me at the hospital and never bothered to check up on me, not even a text. Is that your definition of love? No, that's bullshit. One thing I do know is she's got serious issues she needs to work through. I'm not cut out for that."
"You might not believe it but she's just confused. She needs to see you. You should go talk to her. She wants to no matter how much she tries hiding it. It's too obvious. Please, just go see her for what it is worth —what's the worst that can happen?"
Michael got up to leave, but after a few moments of deep thought, he had a change of heart.
"Where is her place? Take me to her."
It was a few minutes past six in the evening when they arrived at Tosin's place—a semi-detached bungalow painted in shades of red and tan. Rodney and Michael walked up to the green door, which clearly marked the entrance.
"This is where I leave you," Rodney said.
"Hold up man, where are you going? You're gonna leave here… With her?"
"You got this man. I thought she called you champ. Go get her. Besides, my staying behind would only make things more awkward," he said and headed out.
"You got this, Michael…you got this."
He kept repeating these words in his head before finally pushing the doorbell. There was no response and he pushed it repeatedly three times.
"Who's there? Geez!" Tosin yelled out in a sharp voice.
Inside, she looked through the peephole and saw Michael's eyes. Startled, she quickly turned away and locked the door. Slowly, she sat down with her back against the cold steel, rendered speechless.
"Come on T, open the door. What's all this? I know you saw me and locked it. Open up, let's talk. You can't keep this up forever. Please, just open the door."
Inside, she couldn't bear to face him after ghosting him for the past two months. She felt like a monster, unworthy of love or any kind of affection. All it would take was three words…
Unable to hold back any longer, Tosin finally yelled, "Go away, Michael!" Tears welled up and began to drip down her cheeks as she added in a softer tone, "Please, go."
"Why should I T? We need to talk. I need answers from you. What's happening to us? I need to know. Everything is just so confusing."
"I'm sorry, Michael… I truly am. But I don't have the answers you're looking for. I know I've messed up—big time. I know I shouldn't have taken you to that bar, I shouldn't have left you behind while I was drunk, and I shouldn't have ghosted you these past months. I ruined your chance at a professional soccer career in just one night. Please, just stay away from me. I only end up causing damage to everyone around me."
"That night wasn't your fault T. You didn't force me to go or do anything against my will. Everything I did was of my own free will. Stop blaming yourself"
"You don't understand. Do you? That day you asked why I push people away. You said it was a self-defense mechanism. You were wrong… I do it to protect people from me. Hell, I killed my mother as a baby. I have been a monster right from birth."
"Stop it T. You're no monster. You're smart, focused and the bravest girl I have ever met. And you are so much more than that. You're…"
"Enough. Please, stop. You don't know me. And trust me you don't want to… Just leave me alone. It's the only way to protect you."
"Please T. We can…"
"Get out. Get out, Michael—now!!" she shouted, interrupting him. "Just leave already!"
In a burst of anger, she smashed the flower vase against the door.
"Leave now, before I call the cops," she yelled.
After standing by the door for a few heartbeats, Michael turned and walked away. Tosin buried her face in her palm and began to cry.