When I woke up the next morning, the sun was shining, birds were singing, and my bed was on fire.
Not, like, metaphorically. It was actually on fire.
"OH COME ON—"
I flailed off the mattress and slapped at the flames with my blanket which also immediately caught on fire. Progress was… questionable.
> [Warning: Mana Output Unstable]
Consider lowering passive emission.
"I am lowering it!" I yelled at the very air. "I'm literally just breathing!!"
Apparently breathing was considered a war crime now.
I managed to snuff the flames by dumping the entire wash bin of water over the bed. The inn owner was going to kill me. Actually kill. Like no resurrection clause.
Great start to the day.
I stumbled downstairs, slightly singed, to find the innkeeper (big mustache, arms like tree trunks, "I wrestle bears for fun" energy) ready to yell at me.
But then he saw my eyes glowing faintly silver and immediately decided to not have problems today.
"Breakfast is included," he said kindly.
"Thank you, sir, I appreciate your emotional maturity," I replied.
He nodded slowly, definitely reconsidering several life choices.
---
I made my way back to the Adventurer's Guild.
The guild hall was buzzing — and not in a "yay another day of quests" way. More like gossip wildfire spreading at terminal velocity.
I stepped in and the room fell into that weird silent-orchestra mode where everyone is whispering but also absolutely staring directly at me.
Someone muttered:
"There he is… the F-rank calamity."
Another:
"I heard he wiped out 20 imps with a stick."
"That's not possible."
"It is if you're cursed…"
Cursed.
That was new and somehow insulting.
I walked up to the fox-eared receptionist again. She gave me a polite, too-wide smile that said welcome back, please do not explode anything.
"Good morning, Mr. Kurogane. Did you… sleep well?"
"The bed caught fire."
She nodded like that was normal. "Yes, that happens sometimes with unstable-type mages."
I blinked. "Is that… advice?"
"More like resignation."
Fair.
---
She handed me a quest slip.
Collect 3 Moon Lilies
Location: Whispering Grove
Danger Level: Not high unless you're stupid.
"Well, that sounds promising," I said.
She sighed. "Please, just… try not to break the ecology."
"No promises."
---
Whispering Grove
It was peaceful. Pretty. Soft light filtering through glowing leaves. The sound of water trickling.
Also: everything in the forest whispered.
Not like spooky cryptic whispering. More like:
"pssst look at this idiot"
"what is he wearing??"
"why does he walk like that—"
The trees were roasting me.
"Okay. Cool. Nature's a bully. Fine."
I spotted the flowers — soft white petals, glowing faintly blue. Beautiful.
I crouched carefully.
Slow breath.
Gentle touch.
Minimal mana.
I plucked a Moon Lily—
—And the entire clearing exploded into a ring of radiant crystal like I had cast divine judgement by accident.
I just stood there in the glittering crater.
"...I swear I'm not doing this on purpose."
The universe did not answer.
---
On the way back, I passed a group of new adventurers.
One guy, tall, fancy armor, smug jawline — the type of guy who narrates his own bicep flex — stepped in front of me.
"Ohhhh look, it's the F-rank glitter bomb," he said, flipping his hair in a way that absolutely required daily conditioner sales.
His status floated above his head:
> Leon Rhestoria
Rank: B
Title: Hero Trainee
Awful Personality: Confirmed
He poked my chest. "Why don't you go back to herb-gathering, hmm? Leave the real work to people who actually have talent."
Internally, I took a deep breath. Externally, I smiled.
"Sure," I said. "Anyway, your shoe is untied."
He looked down.
I flicked a pebble.
The pebble gently tapped his shoulder.
He flew backwards 50 meters into a tree.
The tree fell.
The earth cracked.
There was silence.
I blinked. "...I breathed too hard again, didn't I?"
The party behind him stared at me like I had personally kicked their deity.
I raised my hands. "Okay, so listen, I didn't mean—"
They ran away screaming.
---
Back in my room
The system flickered again. Text drifted in like it regretted existing.
> [∞ Paradox Engine: Sync Phase 2 Complete] Passive Output: +20%
Stability: haha no
Then another line whispered through my skull like a secret:
> We see you.
I froze.
"...Who's 'we'?"
No answer.
Just faint laughter.
Like someone — or something — amused.
Watching.
Waiting.
Like the skill itself had opinions.
"Sick," I exhaled. "My cheat ability comes with ghosts."
I laid back on the charred mattress and stared at the ceiling.
And despite everything — explosions, humiliation, accidental war crimes — I grinned.
Because I wasn't weak.
I wasn't background.
I wasn't some extra doomed to be comic relief.
I was the walking contradiction the world didn't know how to process.
A paradox.
A glitch.
A problem.
And problems don't go away.