\|/ Turn 11, early light
I struggled to sleep last dark. It's almost light now, and Mik is about to wake. Do you know what I've realized in this sleeplessness?
I am utterly awful.
The entire sunsdamned time I have been describing Mik as a monster, a mad-thing, a biological horror.
I've clawed its hand the first time we met. I still remember the air taste of it.
I've been disgusted with physical contact with it, and the best I can manage is leaning my tail against its palm.
And how has Mik responded?
By protecting me from the living shadow.
By bringing me to water when Mik didn't know I already knew about the source.
By making a tent I would have no hope of making alone.
By stopping me from hurting myself when I had a conscious nightmare.
By making the tent a fortress to make me feel safe, and giving me a weapon, taking away its only possible advantage over me.
The entire time, Mik has done nothing but protect and help me. And all I've done is antagonize what it physically is, something it can't change, and trying to find ulterior motives behind its actions.
This alien is a better person than I ever have been or ever will be.
I feel utterly disgusted with myself, disfigurement aside.
I need to do something to make it better. I need to be better.
I have an idea for this turn, I'll write how it goes at dark.
\|/ Turn 11, dark
I'm lost.
I had decided to go and hunt. Mik provided me with the tools, and whether it likes it or not I will provide something back for it. I can't be sure if Mik needs protein, but what it does need is bio-matter for its healing arm, and I will provide.
I started searching for animals but struggled to find any. The Screechers had migrated somewhere else, leaving barren nests from the first turn I was here, from when I had hurt Mik.Their air taste was long gone.
I then continued going further from the camp. I didn't say goodbye to Mik, simply leaving in a direction after dragging the spear on the ground to show that I was leaving. Mik understood well enough and flailed its arm before continuing with its duties.
I kept walking for a while, maybe a mark or two, when I saw what looked like tracks.
I quickly started following them, trying to find my prey. But the tracks ended suddenly in a lake.
After absorbing some water, I continued my search and found nothing. I found some more berry shrubs, fungus growing like vines between trees, releasing a bittersweet taste, and another valley of the conductive grass mesh.
Thoroughly disappointed with my hunt, I decided to go back to the camp as the dwarf started to set. I was determined that I would find something the following turn.
I made my way back to the lake and decided to retrace my steps from there, following the same tracks.
The only problem was, I couldn't find the tracks.
More leaves had fallen from the trees and covered the tracks.
I tried searching around the lake more, but I didn't recognize any landmarks, having only focused on the tracks, thinking they would still be there. The forest was too full of different air tastes to use that for help, and the CHD one was long gone by this point.
I'm still at the lake now, writing this next to a tree.
Mik gave me the tool for the job, and I will use it.
But this time, I am not afraid.
I will not return empty handed.
I will not be a burden.