Once again, I am alone in my room.
My mother left a while ago, and despite being on my bed… I am unable to fall asleep.
My heart constantly races—out of fear, guilt, concern, and all manner of emotions—and I can't seem to get it under control. I ask myself if I am really doing the right thing, feeling an inkling of doubt in my mind.
But, after thinking about the matter clearly… I am certain!
I made the right choice.
'I love you, mother, I truly do… but how shameless can you be?' A small frown forms on my face when I remember my conversation with her. 'You said a lot of grand words, but in the end, all you truly wanted was for your son to sacrifice his own happiness for your sake.'
It is already very clear to me that my mother will experience hard times as a result of my choices.
My father will constantly berate her, and she will suffer a lot for it—especially in the short run.
But this is out of my control.
The only other alternative is for me to compromise for her sake and follow the wishes of my family, which I will never do.
In that respect, perhaps I am indeed the cause of my mother's pain.
I suppose I am an unfilial son.
'But… as my mother… should you not love and support me regardless?' I sigh, shaking my head and collapsing on my bed. 'I can't blame her for not understanding my decisions, and I won't even fault her for protesting against them. But…'
I slowly touch my cheeks and feel the stinging sensation that lingers there.
'… Isn't it selfish for you to try to manipulate your son into following your wishes because you do not want to suffer the pains that accompany his decisions?'
I suppose neither I nor my mother is completely innocent in this matter.
We are all flawed and selfish.
'But don't worry, Mother… I understand and forgive you.' I stifle whatever tears are about to proceed from my eyes and cover my upper face with my arm. 'Just you wait! I am going to make you proud, but I have to do it in my own way!'
Until then… I suppose everyone will have to put up with this unfilial son.
***********
Darkness.
An incomprehensible void.
I find my body floating amidst the chaos, seeking solace in the warped ocean of silent corruption.
My body is paralyzed. My senses are in disarray.
I feel a sense of powerlessness in this world, merely a spectator as I watch frames of existence switch and change at a rapid and unintelligible pace.
It feels like the world is collapsing and rearranging itself in perpetuity—the interval baffling.
What strikes me most is that I now stand at the center of this storm.
Alone.
Completely helpless.
I see.
I'm in a dream right now.
When did I fall asleep? I still have no clue regarding that, but I feel a strong sense of strangeness here—the kind one has when they are dreaming.
This chaotic, absurd world does not make any kind of sense to exist in reality.
Up is down. Right is left. Despite standing on solid ground, I feel like I'm floating in the air.
All the colors of the world are warped in an absurd combination, and my eyes witness several weird hues, many of which I cannot comprehend.
There are many things in this world that escape my cognition.
They are beyond my understanding.
'Where am I?' The moment I attempt to have even a fraction of a thought, the chaotic scene around me instantly pauses.
Suddenly… I am plunged deep into the ground, almost as if it were water all along.
I enter deeper darkness.
The world slowly blurs around me, almost as if it is converging and dispersing all at once.
Then, my body lands on a seabed.
Sheer darkness coils around my body, but the soft touch of the surface offers me mild comfort amidst the disarray. Despite being buried several thousand feet deep into this strange, vast ocean of darkness, I can somehow still breathe.
No… not that.
I can't breathe!
The moment I think of breathing, I realize that I haven't been breathing all this time.
Suddenly, a suffocating feeling attacks my throat.
I grab my neck, feeling myself lose air while struggling to breathe in the vast ocean of nothingness. Once I remember the kind of pressure that supposedly exists at the depths of oceans, my body suddenly becomes assaulted by that sensation as well.
My entire body shivers.
I am dying.
Is this not a dream? How is this real? What is possible… what isn't?
My befuddled mind tries to think of what to make of this situation, but I draw a blank.
My body hurts.
As for my mind… It hurts even more.
Just as I try to acclimate to these changes, feeling the painful sensations of all these varying assaults, constantly flickering in and out of existence, I notice something above me.
No—not something.
Some things.
Plural.
'W-what… are those?!' My bloodshot eyes bulge to their limits as I witness an impossibly absurd sight that I could never have conceived in my mind.
I watch the vast ocean slowly get sucked up, the darkness slowly dissipating and rising to meet entities that tower above me like the sun and moon.
They have bodies that phase in and out of existence, as if coated with the very essence of night or day. Their hair twinkle like stars, and their several eyes appear to be entire mountains that peak into the clouds.
These creatures are simply too large!
They all have absurd shapes too—their monstrous body lumbering above the threshold I remain paralyzed on.
The darkness currently hides me, but soon… I will be exposed.
What will happen if these monstrosities lay their eyes on me?
Even now, I can't properly describe them!
Their greedy mouths are so large that I fear they could swallow the world whole. Just one of their fingers is large enough to destroy the entire Randalorion Kingdom.
Despite being so far away from me, it feels like they are right in front of me.
Looking at me.
Craving… hungering… devouring…
… Me?
They feel too real to be false, but how could such entities exist in this world?
They make no sense!
Nothing makes any sense to me!
'Am I going to die? Is everyone going to die, including me?'
Right as this thought, and several others invade my mind, the darkness vanishes, and I am laid bare before these colossal ones—supreme beings of the collapsing world of chaos and silent stillness.
Life is abundant here.
However, such things cannot truly be called life.
They are all creatures that resemble these towering figures—their bodies contorted in all manner of strange ways. They also seem to be phasing in and out of existence, like glitches in the world.
Like abominations that should not be allowed to exist.
What am I looking at?
The world is upside down.
I float once again, my body resting on the firmament.
What is happening?
I feel like I am at the boundary, but with an unmoving body, I can only remain paralyzed as these grotesque, colossal monstrosities seemingly draw near.
Then, perhaps it is my imagination, but… I see one of the eyes slowly shift to me.
My heart instantly jumps.
I nearly cry out, but the choking feeling returns, and pain assails me from every corner of my body.
That eye… it is staring at me—boring into my existence.
It sees me!
It's going to devour me!
Right as I realize this, already engulfed in the absurdity and befuddlement of it all, I feel something—the warm, soft touch of a hand pulling me.
It draws me into the 'surface', and I cross the boundary safely.
The firmament that previously held me up suddenly feels like soft foam, and I instantly become buried inside. Before comprehending it, my vision changes, and I find myself in a completely different place.
This new world is still devoid of reason and explanation.
It appears like a temple—or perhaps a mausoleum?
No, an observatory?!
All of these thoughts get jumbled in my head, and my brain begins to hurt—almost like it is bleeding consciousness.
Everything around me is covered in dense fog, so I can't make out a lot of details.
The only thing that's clear to my eyes is a shadow.
This silhouette stands before me and takes on the form of a lady in a long dress.
I can't make out the details of her or her outfit, but the mere glimpses I see offer me a sight of elegance and ethereal beauty.
However, this only causes me to bleed consciousness even faster.
I can't remain here.
I'll die!
The moment I have this thought, I realize that the choking sensation has long ceased, and I am also no longer paralyzed. I realize that my mouth isn't shut tight, so my lips quiver and the sound of my voice subtly leaks out.
I slowly rise from my lying state, but an invisible wall prevents me from standing completely.
Knocked down by an overwhelming pressure, I am forced to kneel.
Kneel… before this dark, obscure figure.
Her face tilts a little, almost as if she is observing me with intrigue and a sense of fascination.
I can't get a proper look at her face, but I see golden eyes shimmer amidst the fog, and they pierce through everything like the invincible sun. I feel naked before those eyes—like a powerless child lost in a storm of winter's embrace.
I am nothing.
Before those all-seeing gaze, I feel like I do not matter in the slightest.
I am merely a flicker… a fleeting thing.
Shaking down to my core, I lower my head and allow my trembling lips to leak out words.
"T-thank you for helping me back then…" I am surprised by my ability to form a coherent sentence, but this doesn't stop me from continuing.
I find myself no longer able to stop.
"… But what is this place? Is this truly a dream? Where am I? Who are you?"
My words echo in the world of mist.
It clears a little, and I unconsciously raise my head to observe more of the lady's appearance, but her face is completely shrouded in a black veil. The only detail my eyes can catch is the silver embroidery that intricately dots the fine linen of darkness.
However, before I can notice anything more, the dense fog replaces all I can see.
Then—
"Javier… Aditi…?"
—A voice, calm and mature, yet far more sonorous than anything I have ever heard, oozes out.
It silently commands my body to turn tranquil, and the trembling stops.
I become still.
However, many questions rush into my mind.
The most prevalent one being: How does this lady know my name?!
"How were you able to access this Layer?" Her silk-like voice continues, as her golden eyes burrow mildly—partly in amusement, but also suspicion. "Your presence is strange and undeserving. Your unnatural signature almost got you noticed by 'them'. You would have drawn 'their' scent to my Observatory."
Who is 'they'? Does she mean the monsters I saw back then?
What were those things?
Magivores?!
No, their existence feels too absurd… too chaotically unnatural to be borne from nature.
"I… I don't know…?"
"You aren't even a Leviathan, so how is this a possibility? Unless…" She draws nearer, her face slowly nearing mine. For a moment, her veil shifts and I catch a glimpse of her obscured face.
It is pale, white as snow… yet smolderingly beautiful beyond words.
Her black lips part, uttering more words.
Fog proceeds from her tongue as she does so, enveloping my face and blocking my vision yet again. I see nothing, only hearing the enchanting sound of her voice.
"… Did Heathcliff send you?"
Heathcliff? Who's that? Why does it resonate with me despite my lack of knowledge?
The question quickly begins to consume my mind, and I feel my consciousness rapidly expending at a dangerous rate.
Before I can even offer a response, I feel myself fizzling out of existence.
I am dying.
Panic strikes my face, and I try to do something, but the fog becomes too overwhelming and my body grows heavy, turning to an object like lead.
I slowly lose contact with all of my senses and find my whole body shutting down.
Before fully descending into nonexistence, I hear a few words floating in the air.
"He has no idea, huh? How fascinating…"
My eyes finally close.
I perish.
Then, my eyes slowly open, and I wake up on my bed in the Aditi Household.
My memory vaguely hints at a nightmare, but I am unable to remember any of it no matter how hard I try to.
All I know is this—
'It's a brand new day!'