Before he could finish his chant, a giant warrior, clad in grey steel, landed right before his feet. Unable to withstand the shock, Archer's chant became unmade, causing the barely formed Reality Marble to dissipate.
Is this... fucking Warhammer 40K...?
Despite the sheer absurdity of the sight before them, the Bigfoot before them was evidently more frightened...
"HEEEAARGHEAAH!"
Falling to its ass, it jerkily crawled back, unable to believe the sight before it. "I am wrath made manifest, the bearer of the Holy Hand, wielder of the might of Etrigan. Foul beast, your doom has come, for
I
AM
JUSTICE
MADE
MANIFEST!"
And with a whooshing sound, the 2.5-m tall giant swung its giant pole-axe, cleaving off both of the beast's legs. Although the Bigfoot clamoured backwards as fast as possible, it could not dodge the Beryllium Bronze blade wielded by a technologically modified Knight.
Whoosh!
Kree!
With another swing, the knight cut off its left arm, making it look just like EMIYA. Though he did not speak, Archer's eyes emitted gratitude at the actions of the Knight, even if he did not realise it. Seeing that the Bigfoot was incapacitated and mentally cornered, the Knight's hand began glowing bright blue, before placing it on the beast's head...
"Tell me, WHERE ARE THE REST OF YOUR SCUMMY KIND HIDING!"
Mentally broken, the creature could not help but begin conversing, in a manner Saber and Archer could not understand. The only one who had an inkling was Medea, and even she was shocked at the absurdity of the action.
Mental probing could only be done by high-ranking mages, and even then, they were still a rarity in themselves!
Just when the trio were about to come closer, the Knight quickly leapt back, grabbing the disorientated pink fluff ball along with it.
"RUN, IT'S ABOUT TO BLOW UP!"
No sooner had they said it, the Bigfoot's seven orifices began bleeding heavily. With one final cry, its body expanded rapidly, before exploding in a confetti of stringy flesh. Artoria began dry heaving in disgust, while Archer and Caster tended to their wounds, faces pale.
"Hm, hmm, let this tiny fairy fo da healing!"
Now lucid, the tiny fluff ball stood in front of them, arms crossed across her hips. As the wounded duo looked at the tiny being, wondering how she would heal them, she took off her pink bunny hat, revealing her pointy ears. Shocked beyond belief, they could only watch in awe as the Goblin began tending to their wounds, stitching them back into place using her threads. "There is nothing that I, Pollyweather 'Habetrot' Asgellog, cannot weave. If not, it just means I'm not strong enough..."
As she began her boasting, Artoria could not help but come closer to her. "I want to ask something really quick: how on earth did you bypass the seals placed in Avalon? Because the last time I checked, my sister, Morgan, sealed that place because of a certain womanising ingrate..."
Meanwhile, on top of a crystalline tower, a certain white-haired Incubus could be seen sneezing as his life depended on it, using his tenth box of tissues...
"Wait, you know Avalon!? No, it's just an overlap between dimensions..."
As Saber was left confused on what Habetrot meant, Archer on the other hand had his pupils shrink on the revelation. Just as he was about to confirm something, the grey knight walked up to them, spitting and crushing the last vestiges of the beast's brain into pieces. "I need some time to process what I have learnt, not to mention heavy purification from the Fell God's influence. May we be able to take shelter in your homes...?"
The trio looked at each other, before nodding in perfect synchronisation.
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Beep, beep, beep...
"Why is there a sudden spike in EVE readings...?"
Eyes scrunched in contemplation, Shinji only woke up from his stupor when he realised Guilliman was calling him, ready to set off for their hunt of SCP-1000.
This is getting weirder and weirder each second...