The war is won and I have discovered the answer as to who was pretending to be me.
Now that we're all reassembled in the false planetarium, I slap my forehead and exclaim, "Ohhh! That's what you meant, Hito!"
In fox form, she has the enemy dangling in her jaws. "Likes tinkering with small contraptions. Bloody murder. Crawling about on the ceiling. Easy."
"Redcaaap," I say, ticking my finger side to side. "Mischievous little–"
"I'm not a fucking redcap!" the little garden gnome looking woman wearing the pointy red cap cries out, kicking and fighting all the same. "Damn it! I'm a nisse! A nisse!"
I lower my finger. "Uhhh. Germanic?"
"Norse, you senseless fucking trout!"
"Well, that's not very nice, is it?"
"Quiet, nisse." Hito whips her around like a chew toy before unceremoniously tossing her on the floor. "Stay right there, foul creature. And where's that other one?"
"Up here!"
From downtown up in the audience seats, just like he's shooting a basketball, Clive fucking sends the puckwudgie through the air. The little dude hits the floor and bounces a little, rolling to a stop right next to the redcap.
"Yooo!" I laugh. "Thanks, Clive! Damn! Nice shot!"
"They know I'm ballin' out on these streets, boy!"
"Hell yeah, boyyy!" I shift gears, zipping my way up onto the platform to check out a certain little bird stuck in a cage. "Hey, sexy. Wanna get outta here? Go have a good time?"
Hands on her hips, she hits the classic Anna groan-scoff plus eye roll. "Please. I could use a good time right about now."
"Sushi with Hito?"
"Bitch, you already know."
"I don't have any money…"
"Bitch, I already know. My treat, baby. I'll be your sugar daddy." She hits the classic Anna giggle, dropping all the cool girl pretenses. "Ohh, I'm just so happy to see you. Stab the padlock there with the legendary Moon Sword activated, and I'll be out of here. So I can hug you!"
"As you say, Moon Princess." I activate the primordial might of the fabled blade, then jab it against the bronze padlock which bursts in a flash of light and allows the birdcage's door to creak open. "Finally. You're fr–"
"Flying hug!" She dashes out and jumps.
I catch her in my arms and laugh as she locks her heels and squeezes as hard as she can. She smells like fragrant perfume, like lilies and lavender and roses, like Anna. Gods, the feeling is utter fucking bliss. This is what it was about. These past few days of chaos and turmoil and torture, it was for this. All is right in the universe so long as I have Anna. I'm so fucking happy right now I could cry, if only I were capable of it.
"You did it," she whispers with a wavering smile, red eyes locked onto mine as she touches both hands to my face. Gods, those freckled cheeks. "You passed all my tests, and you followed the trail I left, just like I knew you would. You found me. Thank the Gods. Again and again, Nico, you always prove… that you're my hero…"
"Forever and ever." I sigh, setting my forehead against hers. "It was tough, y'know? I got knocked around. And distracted. I almost gave up. I'm so glad I didn't. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if the fuckers hurt you. You're–You're not hurt, are you?"
"Well…" She glances to the side. "Um. Nobody else hurt me, no."
"R–Right." I look down at her sleeves. A few small spots of dark yellow. Probably better to just leave that alone for now. "But weren't you… Like, the corpos arrested everybody. Didn't they jump you? SWAT you? Like they did to me?"
"Oh, they tried. Hang on. I'll come back to that. Set me down?" Once she's back on her buckled shoe soles, just tall enough to be at chin level on me, she smooths out her skirt and hums as she scans the scene before us. "I warned you two. What did I say? The storm was coming."
The redcap spits on the floor.
The puckwudgie does nothing.
She flips her gorgeous raven hair over her shoulder. Queen shit. "So, let's explain ourselves, shall we? Seeing as you two barged your way into something that has nothing to do with you, why don't you go first? Hm? Start talking, or Nico will beat you up even more."
"It's true. I'll do anything Anna says."
"Nico. Speak."
"Arf! Arf!"
"See? Go on, then."
"We aren't telling you shit!" the redcap blares.
"We wanted the rescue," the puckwudgie confesses. "Before you. We can do it too. But… We cannot. We failed."
"Wait, what?" I look at Hito, then Clive, then Anna. "What?"
"It's true," Clive admits as he slinks down here to join us. "The goal was to find and release Miss Walsh as soon as possible. These two were intent on showing that they could do it. Underdogs out to prove something for the little guys. And hopefully get something from you Greeks for the effort. Womp and I go way back, so I tried to help out."
"Hold up." I pause everything, but my head is empty. Eventually, it isn't. "You guys aren't with the corpos or the cops? Wait, but why the hell did you abduct me?"
"Healthy competition," says Womp.
"Heal–Healthy? You fucking enchanted, drugged, kidnapped, and tried to petrify me!"
"Quit your crying!" the unnamed redcap snaps. "You were in the way, asshole!"
"I'm not gonna take shit from you, face stealer! Why the fuck were you copying my steez, yo?"
"Tall people privilege!"
"Oh." I pause, scratching my head. "Huh."
"That's a lie," Anna states, arms crossed. "Tell the truth."
"They were casing Miss Walsh before all this," Clive says with a sigh, "hoping to scam her financially by pretending to be you."
"Jesus fucking Christ, y'all."
"Hence the trials," Anna grumbled, giving them a scalding glare. "I kept seeing you around, Nico, but it was obviously a fake. You're so uniquely erratic that it's impossible to mimic."
"Thanks, boo! I love to hear it!"
"It's the truth, boo! So, yes, it seems we have a case of lowlife opportunists turning into… highlife opportunists? From half rate thieves to half rate rescuers, hoping to get a cut from Dad for the favor. I can respect the hustle, if not the execution of it, but they clearly weren't prepared for the reality of the circumstances."
"Ha, yeah, totally. Uh. What–What reality is that?"
"Well… Nico…" She turns to me and starts poking my abs. It's just something she does sometimes. Anna's an absentminded fidgety poker. "There's… something you should know. About all this. My arrest."
"Um. Okay? What's up? You know you can tell me anything."
"So… You know how I'm kinda smart?"
"Kind of? Boo, you're, like, a straight up genius."
"Aw. Thanks… But, um." She glances sideways, then up at me. "Nyx has been keeping me in the loop of things a little, and when the others started disappearing, I kinda saw the writing on the wall. So… I…"
There's that Anna giggle. I'm clueless.
"I locked myself up." She gives me a big, bright smile and a cute little wave. "Hiii! This was all meee! Sorryyy!"
I'm still clueless.
And then I'm not.
"Dude, what? Anna! Bruh! You–You didn't even get arrested?"
"Nope! Fuck twelve, Nico! Always!" She laughs again, taking one of my hands with both of hers. "I wasn't gonna let those nasty little corporate pigs touch me! Hell no! I mean, Hito let me know they stole credit for my disappearance, but I arrested myself before they could!"
I'm stunned speechless, but then I gasp. "Anna, you're a fucking mastermind."
"Obviously," she scoffs, tossing her hair again. "I made this cage out of unbreakable soulcrystal, set the lock to only open with the legendary Moon Sword, asked Hito to help me set up this whole rift space labyrinth, and then yeah! The trials and stuff. You wanna know why? Hm? Wanna know?"
"Uh. To… To make sure it was me?"
"To make sure it was only you." She flashes an even brighter smile, somehow. "Nothing and nobody else could free me. I couldn't even free me. It had to be…" She pokes me again. "You! My heroic Moon Knight, armed with the legendary sword of yore, which could only be obtained by proving yourself as the real Nico! Many, many times!"
"Huzzah, Moon Princess!" I raise the sword to the heavens and make it sparkle. "Verily, I am me! And thus, I shall always save thou!"
"Save thee. And yeah. I know!"She slaps both sides of my waist and laughs some more. "Gods, I'm so happy you're heeere, boo! Ahhh! My husband is back from the warrr! Okay, let's get out of here. That sushi sounds killer right about now. Are we good?"
I smile too. "I'm so happy you're here too, boo. I'm good if you're good."
"Well, I'm good if you're good! Hito, are you good?"
"Um." She's back to her human shape, fanning herself. "What about these morons? And Clive."
"Clive?" Anna glares up at him. "You're invited to sushi."
"Oh! Well, okay then. That sounds nice."
"Lovely. Womp? Fi? Execution. Nico, kill them."
"Right away, Anna."
As they start wailing and whining, Anna laughs with mirth and joy. "I'm kidding! I'm kidding!" She then falls completely ice cold. "But just give me a reason. One reason. I fucking dare you."
The redcap and puckwudgie look at each other.
"Go," Anna declares, lifting her chin slightly.
A slash in the rift opens up and they flee the scene.
Gods, she's perfect. In every way possible. I love her.
"That settles that," she says with a terse nod before taking my hand and entwining our fingers. "We're leaving now. Hito? If you please."
"Mhm." Her fox ears twitch a little. "I'll make a cut to the Broadbay. There's a really good sushi bar near there. Plus, the planetarium is kinda swarmed with cops."
"My fault, y'all. Fire alarm."
"Classic." Anna picks up my backpack and helps me put it on. "Are you nomadic again? Don't answer that, I know the answer. You probably haven't eaten in a while either."
"Um… Have… Have you?"
"Nope. But I'm ready to. So long as you eat too."
"Bruh, I'm ready to pound some food down like crazy."
"Same. Let's get going. I've been stuck here long enough."
"Away we go, Moon Princess."
Holding hands, quietly giggling, my best friend and I break out of her prison together. With a lite help from Hito, we leave all of this behind.
Anna's back. I'm so happy I could die.