I woke to the sound of a notification chime.
[System: IMPORTANT KARMA SYSTEM UPDATE!]
Oh no.
[System: Due to System Shop access, karma generation rates have been adjusted for fairness and game balance! ♪]
"Game balance? This isn't a GAME—"
[System: New karma exchange rate: 1 Karma per 1 Copper spent on charity!]
[System: Previous rate (variable based on sacrifice) has been standardized to prevent exploitation of shop items!]
I sat up slowly, my mind racing through the implications.
"Wait. So if I give away one copper, I get one karma?"
[System: Correct!]
"Which means to earn 1,000 karma..."
[System: You need to give away 1,000 copper! That's 10 silver! Or 1 gold! ♪]
"In thirty days."
[System: Correct! Better get earning! ♪]
I looked at my current assets: 13 copper.
At my current tavern wage of 2 copper per day, earning 10 silver would take... 500 days.
I had 30.
I am so screwed.
"Morning!" Vincent's voice chirped from the hairpin. "Sleep well?"
"No. I have a divine debt crisis."
"Oh, that sucks," Vincent said, and for a moment he actually sounded sympathetic. "Want me to—never mind, I'm dead. Can't help with money."
"How touching. She's broke and you're useless," Klaus drawled. "Truly a heartwarming moment."
"At least I'm trying to be supportive!"
"You know what would support her? Adventuring," Masayuki said. "Quests pay significantly better than tavern work. Higher risk, but calculated risk is the foundation of good earnings."
"Or calculated death," Klaus added.
"That's why you assess the threat level first. Basic adventuring 101."
"Meh," Boris contributed.
"You're all terrible advisors."
"We're dead. What did you expect?"
Fair point.
"And wait, did Boris just talk?"
I got dressed and headed to the kitchen. Agatha was already there, preparing for the morning rush.
"You're up early," she said, surprised.
"I need to work."
"...You're voluntarily working early?"
"Yes. And I'd like to work overtime. As much as possible."
She stared at me. "Who are you and what have you done with Hitomi?"
"I'm in debt. Multiple debts. I need money."
"Your mysterious curse that takes 95% of your earnings?"
"Among other things."
She studied me for a long moment, then shrugged. "Fine. Extra shifts mean extra work. You'll do morning prep, full day service, AND evening cleanup. That's dawn to midnight. Twelve silver per week instead of the usual—wait, you only keep 5%."
"I know."
"So you'd be working six extra hours per day for..." She did the math. "Sixty copper per week. Three copper per day, effective wage."
"Better than two."
"This is the worst deal I've ever seen anyone accept voluntarily."
"My life is full of bad deals lately."
"TRUTH!" the spirits chorused in my head.
Agatha shook her head. "Your funeral. Start with the dishes. There's about three days' worth backed up."
I worked like a woman possessed.
Dishes? Done in record time, now that I had proper Yōki reserves. My hands moved faster, my stamina held up better. The mountain of plates that would have taken me four hours yesterday took ninety minutes today.
Floors? Mopped and scrubbed until they gleamed.
Tables? Cleaned, polished, arranged perfectly.
Food prep? I hauled crates, peeled vegetables, and did everything Agatha threw at me without complaint.
By midday, she was watching me with a mixture of confusion and suspicion.
"Are you... feeling alright?"
"Fine. What needs doing next?"
"The storage room needs organizing. But that's usually a two-day job—"
"I'll have it done by dinner."
"Hitomi—"
"What. Needs. Doing. Next."
She pointed at the storage room.
I dove in.
"She's very motivated today," Vincent observed. "It's kind of inspiring, actually."
"Inspiring? She's working herself to death for pennies," Klaus said. "It's tragic. Hilariously tragic."
"You don't have to be a dick about it."
"I'm dead. Being a dick is all I have left."
"Focus and efficiency are good," Masayuki said. "But she's burning stamina too fast. She should pace herself, save energy for emergencies. That's how you survive long campaigns."
"Meh," Boris added, unhelpfully.
"Can you all be quiet? I'm trying to work."
"No." Klaus said flatly.
"Not my problem."
"You're carrying us around! It's literally your problem!"
"Meh."
"Boris, at least you're consistent."
By evening, the storage room was organized, the dinner rush was handled, and I'd worked fourteen straight hours without stopping.
Agatha handed me my wages: three silver coins.
They immediately began to shimmer.
"No no no—wait—"
[System: Auto-charity activating!]
Two silver and 85 copper vanished into light.
[System: 285 copper distributed to charity!]
[System: +285 Karma!]
[System: Current Karma: -9,999,999,999,999,999,947,778]
I stared at the 15 copper remaining in my hand.
285 karma. I needed 1,000.
At this rate, even working overtime, I'd need... four more days like this.
Four days out of thirty.
That's... actually doable?
"Something wrong?" Agatha asked, watching the money vanish.
"Just the curse. It's fine."
"That's not fine. That's horrifying."
"I'm used to it."
She looked like she wanted to say something, then shook her head. "Get some rest. Same schedule tomorrow?"
"Yes. Same schedule."
"...You're going to burn out."
"Probably. But I need the money."
She sighed. "Your choice. Don't blame me when you collapse."
I left the tavern with 28 copper total (13 from before plus 15 from today) and a plan.
Four more days of overtime would get me to 1,000 karma. Maybe five to be safe.
But that was almost a week of brutal work for one payment. And I still had Agatha's debt, and my regular living expenses, and—
I need a better paying job.
The Adventurer's Guild was still open when I arrived.
The same receptionist looked up as I approached.
"You," she said flatly.
"Me."
"Have you come to apologize for the goblin incident?"
"No. I came to ask if I'm still banned from taking quests."
She stared at me. Then consulted a ledger. "Technically... no. You were never officially banned. Just strongly discouraged."
"So I can take quests?"
"You can do whatever you want. Just—" She leaned forward. "—please, PLEASE don't bring another monster horde to the city. The guards are still upset. One of them filed a complaint. It was very detailed."
"I'll try my best."
"That's not reassuring."
"It's the best you're getting."
She sighed and waved me toward the quest board. "Go. Try not to die. Or cause a diplomatic incident. Or—you know what, just try not to make my life harder."
"No promises."
I turned toward the quest board—
—and nearly walked into Amelia.
"Hitomi!" She looked genuinely happy to see me. "I was hoping I'd run into you!"
"Amelia. Hi."
She was carrying a quest notice. "I have a goblin subjugation quest. Different nest from last time—this one's been properly scouted. Estimated 8-12 goblins, E-rank difficulty. The payment is decent, and—" She paused. "—well, logically speaking, having a partner would increase success probability."
"She wants to adventure with you!" Vincent said. "That's actually really nice. She seems like a good person."
"Or she's too dumb to realize you're a walking disaster magnet," Klaus added.
"Can you not?" Vincent shot back.
"What? It's true. Every quest she takes goes sideways. It's statistically improbable."
"Eight to twelve goblins is a reasonable quest," Masayuki said. "If properly scouted, it's manageable for two E-rank adventurers. Check the quest details though—confirm the scout date and who did the reconnaissance."
"Meh." Boris's tone somehow conveyed skepticism.
"How much does it pay?" I asked Amelia.
"Eight silver. Split between both of us, that's four silver each."
Four silver. With the 95% curse, I'd keep 20 copper. That's 20 karma.
Not great. But better than a day at the tavern.
"And you're sure it's only 8-12 goblins?"
"The guild scouted it yesterday. Confirmed numbers. No surprises this time." She smiled confidently. "And I promise to land where I'm aiming. I've been practicing my depth perception!"
"So she's STILL not wearing glasses," Klaus said. "Brilliant. We're going to die again because she's too vain to see properly."
"She's trying her best," Vincent said defensively.
"Her best got us surrounded by forty goblins last time."
"That wasn't her fault!"
"It was PARTIALLY her fault."
"Meh."
"Are you wearing your glasses?"
"I don't need—I mean, I've taken steps to improve my spatial awareness."
"You're squinting right now."
"The lighting in here is poor! The guild really should install better lamps. It's a logical workplace safety issue."
"She's definitely not wearing glasses," Masayuki confirmed. "But if she's practiced her depth perception, she might be compensating. Watch how she moves—if she's adjusting well, she'll be fine in combat."
I sighed. "Fine. I'll go with you. But if there are more than twelve goblins, we're retreating immediately."
"Agreed! Very sensible!" She grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the receptionist. "We're taking the Whispering Woods goblin quest! Party of two!"
The receptionist looked between us. "You two? Again?"
"Different location this time," Amelia said cheerfully. "Completely different nest. Well-scouted. No surprises!"
"That's what you said last—"
"We'll be fine!"
The receptionist stamped the quest form with the air of someone who had given up on life. "Eight silver on completion. Proof of elimination required. Try not to lead them back here."
"Logically speaking, that would be counterproductive," Amelia said.
"That's STILL not reassuring."
We left the guild, quest notice in hand.
"This is going to be a disaster," Klaus said cheerfully. "I can feel it. The universe hates us."
"Don't be so negative!" Vincent protested. "Maybe this one will go smoothly!"
"You're an optimist. It's disgusting."
"And you're a pessimist who got drunk and fell off a roof."
"I was PUSHED off a roof!"
"After you insulted the wrong person while drunk."
"...Fair."
"Preparation and caution prevent disasters," Masayuki said. "Check your gear, confirm your stamina levels, establish a retreat signal. Basic adventuring protocol."
"Meh."
"Boris, you don't get to have an opinion. You've been 'meh' this entire time."
"Meh."
"See? Completely unhelpful."
Amelia glanced at me. "Are you... talking to someone?"
"No."
"You said a name. 'Boris.'"
Crap.
"I was... thinking out loud. About... a person I used to know. Named Boris. Who's dead."
"Oh." She looked sympathetic. "I'm sorry for your loss."
"It's fine. He was kind of creepy anyway."
"RUDE!" Vincent said. "Boris has feelings too, you know."
"Does he? I can't tell through the 'meh,'" Klaus drawled.
"Meh," Boris confirmed, somehow sounding offended.
"Anyway!" Amelia said brightly. "The nest is about an hour's walk north. We should arrive before sunset, handle the goblins, collect proof, and be back by nightfall. Very efficient! I calculated the optimal route based on terrain difficulty and goblin activity patterns!"
"She sounds like she knows what she's doing," Vincent said hopefully.
"She sounds like she read one book about goblins and thinks she's an expert," Klaus corrected.
"Can you not?"
"I'm just being realistic."
"Realistic is code for 'asshole.'"
"Exactly."
"Famous last words," Klaus muttered.
"What's the plan if there are more than twelve?" I asked.
"There won't be."
"But if there are?"
"Then we retreat, as you said. I'm not risking another horde situation." She adjusted her sword belt. "I've learned my lesson about proper threat assessment."
"And you'll actually be able to see this time?"
"I can see FINE."
"You're squinting."
"The sun is bright!"
"It's evening. The sun is setting."
"—which makes it bright at this angle!"
"I like her," Masayuki said. "Earnest. Determined. Probably has no idea what she's doing, but her heart's in the right place. Those are good qualities in a party member."
"She can't see past fifteen feet," Klaus pointed out.
"Nobody's perfect."
"Some people are less perfect than others."
"You died falling off a roof drunk."
"Why does everyone keep bringing that up?!"
"Because it's hilarious," Vincent said.
"Meh," Boris agreed.
"Can you all please shut up," I muttered.
"What?" Amelia asked.
"Nothing. Talking to myself."
"You do that a lot."
"I have a very active inner monologue."
"TECHNICALLY TRUE!" the spirits chorused.
We walked north through the city gates, past the guards (who glared at me specifically), and onto the forest road.
The sun was setting behind us, painting the sky orange and purple. Birds called from the trees. It was actually quite peaceful.
"So," Klaus said. "What's the over-under on this quest going horribly wrong?"
"Don't jinx it!" Vincent protested.
"I'm not jinxing anything. I'm just acknowledging observable patterns."
"You're being a pessimist."
"I'm being a realist. There's a difference."
"Scout reports can be outdated," Masayuki said thoughtfully. "Goblin populations grow fast—they reproduce quickly and scavenge aggressively. A nest scouted yesterday could have doubled in size by today if they found a food source or absorbed a smaller tribe."
"Meh," Boris said, which somehow conveyed "we're doomed."
"If you're all going to predict disaster, at least have the courtesy to do it quietly."
Amelia looked over. "Did you say something?"
"Just... preparing myself mentally."
"That's very wise! Mental preparation is key to successful adventuring!" She pulled out a small notebook. "I've been studying goblin behavior patterns. Did you know they're actually highly social creatures with complex hierarchical structures?"
"I did not know that."
"It's fascinating! The alpha goblin usually—"
She continued talking about goblin social structures and territorial behaviors while we walked. She was clearly trying to sound knowledgeable, but some of her "facts" seemed... questionable.
"—and goblins communicate through a complex system of screeches that indicate social hierarchy, with the alpha producing the highest-pitched sound—"
"That's completely wrong," Masayuki said. "Alpha goblins have the LOWEST pitch. It's a dominance display."
"She read one outdated book and is treating it like gospel," Klaus observed. "This is painful to listen to."
"At least she's trying to learn," Vincent said. "That's more than most adventurers do."
"Trying and succeeding are different things."
"You're impossible."
"Meh."
I half-listened, watching the forest grow darker as we moved deeper in.
"She's nice," Vincent said quietly. "Genuinely nice. Those are rare."
"She's also dangerously misinformed about goblins," Klaus added.
"Can you go five minutes without being negative?"
"Probably not."
"Meh."
"She's seventeen and you're all dead. Stop it."
"What?" Amelia paused her goblin lecture.
"Nothing. Continue."
She gave me an odd look but resumed talking about how goblins supposedly build complex irrigation systems.
"They don't," Masayuki said flatly. "They barely dig latrines."
"This is going to be a long hour," Klaus sighed.
"You're literally dead. You have infinite time," Vincent pointed out.
"Doesn't mean I want to spend it listening to incorrect goblin facts."
"Then. Stop. Talking."
"Meh."
"I wasn't talking?" Amelia said, confused.
"Not you. The—never mind."
"She thinks you're crazy," Klaus said.
"I AM crazy. I have four dead men in my head and I'm walking toward a goblin nest for the second time this week."
"Fair point!"
The forest grew denser. Darker. The cheerful bird calls were replaced by more ominous sounds—rustling in the undergrowth, distant howls, the creak of old trees.
"We're getting close," Amelia said, her hand moving to her sword hilt. "The nest should be just ahead. Are you ready?"
I checked my Yōki levels mentally.
[System: Current Yōki: 584/500]
[System: Passive regeneration from bound spirits working nicely! ♪]
I had one use of Concussive Strike available before I'd need to rest. Maybe two if I pushed it.
My physical strength was better than before—Power Level 4.2 wasn't much, but it was more than the 2.8 I'd started with.
"Ready as I'll ever be."
"Excellent! Now remember—" She pulled out her notebook. "—goblins are most aggressive when defending their territory. We should approach cautiously, assess the situation, and—"
A screech echoed through the trees.
We both froze.
"That sounded close," I said.
"Very close," Amelia agreed.
Another screech. Then another. And another.
"That's more than twelve screeches," Vincent observed.
"Definitely more than twelve," Klaus agreed.
"I'd estimate twenty. Maybe twenty-five," Masayuki said.
"..." Boris's silence was very loud.
"Amelia."
"Yes?"
"How sure are you about that scout report?"
"Very sure! The guild confirmed—"
A goblin burst from the undergrowth.
Then another.
Then five more.
Then...
A lot.
We stared at the growing horde of screeching, weapon-wielding goblins.
"That's not twelve," I said flatly.
"No," Amelia said, her voice very calm. "No, that is significantly more than twelve."
"Should we run?"
"That would be the logical choice, yes."
Neither of us moved.
The goblins charged.
"Here we go again!" Vincent said cheerfully.
"I'm starting to see a pattern," Klaus observed.
"She's cursed," Masayuki said. "Definitely cursed. No one has this much bad luck naturally."
"..."
"Boris, if you're about to say 'I told you so,' I swear I will find a way to exorcise you specifically."
"..."
"Let's do this," I said, cracking my knuckles.
"Let's do this," Amelia agreed, drawing her sword.
The goblins hit us like a wave.
And somewhere in the back of my mind, I heard the System text box laugh.