The doctor made this feel like a life or death moment with his deep stare and silence. He has called them to give feedback of the procedure.
Then the doctor said it. "Negative.I'm sorry."
Her heart just…stopped. Like an engine seizing up. She stared at a smudge on the wall. A little grey mark. That mark was more important than she was right now.
Theodore didn't move but the air got thick and heavy with tension. You could literally taste his anger. It was metallic, like blood in the air.
"Say that again."His voice was quiet. Deadly quiet.
"The procedure didn't take. She isn't pregnant." Dr Evans was scared. The shaking and trembling hands gave it all away. Even the clipboard trembled.
All those weeks, the vitamins that made her nauseous, the feeling of being a thing, a container, was all for nothing? A big, fat zero. Her body was a failure.
Even though it was just one step he took, the room felt smaller. "You promised me." he said, his voice dangerously calm. "You sat in that leather chair and you promised me."
"Mr.Roosevelt, with all due respect, medicine is an art, not a—"
"I didn't pay for art!"The calm broke. His voice cracked like a whip. "I paid for a result! A baby! Not… variables!" He spat the word.
When she finally found her voice, it came out as a tiny, broken thing. "It's not the doctors fault." She whispered it to the smudge on the wall.
His eyes left the doctor and they landed on her. They were cold and blaming. Wait! He's blaming her?
And Instead for the doctor to be quiet and let them work through this information first, she had to open her mouth and make matters more complicated. "There is… another option." She looked between us like anervous little bird. "If you're… committed. The natural way. Sometimes, it's just… better."
The natural way? Her brain froze. Was she saying they should....she let her mind travel. She began to imagine what it would feel like with his hands on her....
"No."Theodore's answer was like a gunshot. "No. That is not the deal."
"The body can be stubborn with science,Mr. Roosevelt. Sometimes it needs… a personal touch."
The car ride home was completely silent. Theodore held the steering wheel very tightly. His hands were white. Nancy looked out the window. She felt empty. The word "natural" played in her head. It felt like a bad joke.
They entered the big, quiet penthouse. The door clicked shut.
Theodore exploded.
He threw his keys against the wall. "This is a waste of my time!" he yelled. He was not yelling at her, but at everything.
Nancy felt something break inside her. All her sadness turned to anger.
"You think I wanted this?" she asked, her voice shaking. "You think I liked being your experiment?"
He turned to her, his eyes wild. "This is not about what you like! This is about our deal! My father will take everything from me!"
"Maybe life does not care about your deal!" Nancy screamed. Hot tears filled her eyes. "Maybe you cannot control my body! Maybe it hates you!"
He moved very close to her in one second. He did not touch her, but she could feel the heat from his skin. She could see his heart beating in his neck.
"You think I do not know that?" His voice was rough and low. It was a secret sound. "You think I do not lie awake every night? I know I could lose everything."
Nancy's breath caught in her throat. The rich, powerful man was gone. She saw a scared man.
"Then stop pretending you are so strong," she whispered. Her lips would not stop trembling.
His hand came up and held the back of her neck. His fingers were tight in her hair. It was not gentle. He needed to hold onto something.
He looked into her eyes. It felt like he was really seeing her for the first time.
Then he kissed her.
It was not a sweet kiss.
It was hard and full of anger. It was full of all the words they could not say. Nancy pushed his chest for a moment. Then her hands grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer. She made a small sound, like a cry. She gave up.
She kissed him back like she needed him to breathe.
"This is wrong," she said against his mouth. Her skin felt hot.
"Everything is wrong," he said. His hands were under her shirt, warm on her back.
He walked them backward toward the bedroom. They almost fell. They did not care about their clothes. Buttons came off. Nancy heard her skirt tear. She helped him with his belt. Her hands shook.
Then there was just skin.
Her hands felt his back. It was hard. She felt a small scar. He was a real person. He was shaking.
He looked down at her. His eyes were dark.
"Tell me you want this," he said. His voice was not steady.
And she did. She really did.
"I want you," she said.
What happened next was not pretty. It was not soft.
It was two people who were very hurt. They were trying to forget their pain. His hands were not always gentle. Her nails scratched his back. It was like a fight, but they were on the same side.
When he entered her, she cried out. It did not hurt. It made her feel real. After feeling nothing for so long, she could feel everything. She moved with him. Her body asked for more.
It did not last long. They fell together.
After, the room was quiet. The only sound was their breathing.
Nancy looked at the ceiling. Her heart beat very fast, like a scared bird.
What did we just do? she thought.
They broke their most important rule.
And the worst part?
The very worst part?
Lying there in the dark, she had never felt more like a person. She had never felt more alive.