I had a plan. Sure, it was a plan that didn't immediately solve everyone's problems, which was probably what they wanted me to do, but what can I say? The quickest way was to tell Haruki point blank that, like, five girls were completely and utterly in love with him.
I didn't want to do that!
Not for, y'know, any particular reason personal to myself. Duh.
But I just really, really wanted to make the girls tell Haruki themselves. Like, if you're gonna waste all your energy on the dude who literally can't see romance unless it hits him by a rock, you can spend less energy just TELLING him!! Jeez…
Regardless, my lack of backbone is was brought me here— metaphorically tied up and restrained by the gazes of all the girls present. I sit stiff as a rock on the park benches in pure, utterly uncomfortable silence.
I shift. "So, uh, I thought we were already decided that I was gonna help you all…?" I spread my hands, trying for a smile that was meant to be inviting, but ended up looking like, 'Please help me, I'm being held hostage by crazy women.'
Which, in all honesty, was what was actually happening right now.
Normally, I would be overjoyed to have the attention of so many pretty girls, but with how intense the look on their faces were, and considering how they've already given themselves to my best friend, heart and soul, I just feel extremely out of place.
Someone free me.
Kaori nods, knuckles cracking, and I feel a shiver up my spine. I've known this girl for over ten years— if she's doing that, that means she has a goal. And Kaori never gives up on her goal. "Akiyo," She said, and I flinch, because, man, she is scary when she wants to be. "We've brought you here to decide exactly how you're going to help us."
And that's just— Wow. Talk about insulting. I know exactly how to help you!!! I crossed my arms. "Hey, hey. There's nothing to discuss. I know exactly how to get to him. Why do we even need to talk about this?"
Kaori rolls her eyes. "Yeah, I figured you probably got everything planned out. But you've GOTTA tell us, or we'll be left in the dark! What if we're not in the know and accidentally ruin your plan?"
I blink. Oh. Guess her words aren't all that insulting anymore… Oops. "Oh, right," I answer, almost carelessly, feeling a little guilty. "Yeah, I forgot. Sorry." I clear my throat, suddenly a little more uncomfortable than I already was, "So, I was just planning on… Y'know. Asking him what seems romantic. And I'll just, like, tell you guys what he says so you can do those things and make him realize it's romantic."
A pause. Then, the girls huddled together like the elders of a tribe discussing. Finally, Kaori, the leader, the first person who's been a part of the Harem, speaks up. "Nope."
I blink again. What. "What do you mean, nope?!" I demand, looking shocked. My eyes are probably blown wide at this point, because gosh. Way to shut a man's plans down. Seriously, since when did Kaori become so cold?!
Rin pushes up her glasses, "I think what Kaori was trying to say," She amends, "Is that we want a different approach. We want our flirtations and advances to be personal to us and Haruki, not just what Haruki dictates for us."
The rest of the girls nod, and I consider it.
They're… Actually right. I agree with them. If we just went along with whatever the hell Haruki said, then it would feel… Authentic. Like they were just pulling shit from a manual.
"Fine," I conceded, "Let's scrap that, then. What do you guys propose?" Cue more muttering amongst themselves. I really felt like someone on trial right now.
Lina answers without a hint of shame, chest puffed up as she speaks in that thick German accent of hers. "Easy!" She says proudly, "Flirt with him!"
I splutter. "WHAT?!" I respond, floundering like a baby just born, arms flailing. "But- I'm nOT GAY????" My voice cracks, embarrassingly, at the end, and I suddenly feel off balance. WHAT WAS HAPPENING.
"Ugh, not like that!" Akira rolls her eyes, and I wanted her head to roll on the floor. "We're not telling you to be gay. We just want you to do some experimentation." She waggles her eyebrows, and I think, Wow. Didn't know you knew such big words.
I tried not to scoff. Just because Akira was the one saying the plan doesn't mean I should disrespect the idea the other girls came up with. "...Elaborate on 'experimentation'." I finally answer, sounding like one of our professors.
Akira looked like she was going to complain about how stupid I was, and I was ready to throw hands, but Yukina stepped in like soft running water. "U-Uhm, Akiyo," She says, and I stop instantly to let her speak, "What we mean is that you should test… flirting with him. To gauge his reaction."
I'm actually surprised for a little bit. This is the most I've heard Yukina talk… Must all be because of Haru. He's so cool…!
Gah, wait. I'm not a fanboy.
I nod to regain composure quickly. "Oh, uh, yeah, that sounds great," I say, ignoring the glaring holes in the logic, "I think I'll be able to do that."
Lie. The only people I've ever flirted with are actually pixels.
…But it's not like I'm going to say that.
Lina claps her hands. "Wunderbar!" She says, beaming, and I feel myself smile back. "You're a life saver, Akiyo. Don't worry, we'll repay you someday!!"
I shake my head. "No, no, it's okay," I say, waving my hands. I smile a little brighter— Then shiver. It felt like something was looking at me. I turned, but no one was there. Shaking it off, I hastily returned to the girls. "So, when do I start?"
Kaori bounces up, grinning madly. "Today," She said, leaning forward to poke me in the chest. I laugh, half-confused, half-terrified.
"What?"
…
Immediately after, I'm pushed out of the park with a chorus of 'good-lucks'. Good Lord. I pull my hoodie tighter around my shoulders, chewing at my lip. For once, I'm nervous. What if Haru takes it the wrong way? What if he thinks I'm weird? What if he — and God forbid he does — Think I'm actually in love with him?
Talk about a PR disaster…! My reputation? In shambles. My relationships? Absolute rubble. My sanity? Razed to the ground.
In short? UTTER DISASTER. I do NOT want that in my life.
I'm so lost in thought I bump into a body. I stumble back, but a hand shoots out to catch me. My eyes open from how they were scrunched up in panic, and I look up to see—
"Haru?" I gape, staring at the familiar yellow and black hair, that same short half-ponytail that bounced with each movement. "Oh- Haru…! I didn't- I thought you would be home by now…!"
Haruki smiles, that easy, gentle one that makes you feel special. My chest pounds harder, combined with the reminder that I'm supposed to be flirting with this guy. "Yeah," Haruki says off-handedly, "I should've been home by now. Soccer beat my ass, but… It wouldn't feel the same, walking home without you."
I swallow. I wasn't supposed to meet him so soon…! But I can't deny the truth. Ever since we met, we always walked home together. It was just tradition. Our thing. So why did it feel so heavy, now?
I clear my throat softly, turning my face away. "Y-Yeah," I manage, my throat suddenly feeling very dry, "You're right. It'd feel… Wrong."
Haruki's lips curved a bit wider. "Mm. I'm glad you agree, Aki. No one else could ever replace you on our walks." His voice carried, soft, inviting, inexplicably warm. I bit down on my lip, thinking, Chill, man. It's not like Haru's proposing to you.
I scratch my cheek, smiling a little. "I'm flattered," I try to joke, but my voice cracks a little at the end. I feel like a huge, flaming mess. I probably am. "Does that mean I'm irreplaceable because you love me so much?"
Haruki quiets. His eyes linger— A little too long, and I shiver. Just a bit. Always just a bit. "...Of course," He says, finally, after a long pause, "There can be no one else who can take your spot."
My chest warms with something like an ache. It's good, but it almost brings me to tears. Because I can feel the truth in his words, but—
He'll get a girlfriend soon, I'm sure. He already had one, once. And when he does… I can't help but remember:
I'll be sidelined. I won't be important anymore. Late night gaming sessions would lose against a single call from his girlfriend. His world will revolve around her, now.
"Haru, don't ever leave me."
I jerk forward, stumbling, and Haruki catches me— Quiet, steady where I fall. It makes my cheeks heat up. His voice washes over me, low, concerned. "Aki?" He murmurs, and I blink, "You okay? What's up?"
My tongue comes up to moisten my dry, cracking lips. "N-Nothing," I get out, "Just… remembered something. It's fine. It's really nothing." I laugh, nervous, and Haruki's eyes are studying me carefully, like he's memorizing each detail of my face and cataloguing it away for future use.
Damn. What a ridiculous comparison. I fidget in his arms for a little bit, waiting for his response, until finally, he says, "Are you steady enough to walk?"
I perk. Wait… This is an opportunity! I clear my throat again, like I'm readying for a speech. "Yup, I'm good." Then I hold his hand, leaning on his shoulder, a lazy grin on my face. I'm feeling pretty proud. Isn't this was couples do?
I half-expect him to just accept it. After all, this man basically doesn't give a damn about affection. I figured he'd just go along with it— Especially considering that's what he did with his ex. But Haruki freezes. So I stiffen up, too.
I lift my head immediately, but I still keep my fingers intertwined with his. "Sorry, did I overstep?" I hear myself saying. My brain is overcome with worry. What if he didn't like my flirting? I'd feel so guilty…
Haruki shakes his head adamantly, eyes flashing with something passionate. "No— It's okay. I was just surprised, that's all." He hesitates, for a minute, then he says, "I'm totally okay with it. So, can you… Do it again?" His smile is still soft, still casual. But my heart races like he's asked me to marry him.
"Oh! Oh, yeah, of course," I blurt, eyes blown wide. There's a small tremor passing through my body, now, and I'm absolutely certain that he notices, because his hand squeezes my shaking one.
I return to our previous position, and I think, Good God. I have to tell this to the girls. Because I know Haruki so well.
I've known him like the back of my hand ever since the day he found me crying in the park. I'd know him no matter what happened— Even if my eyes stop working, even if my ears fail me, even if my body no longer knows how to feel— I'd know him.
So, no. It does not escape me how, despite his cool composure, his ears are pink.
I smile to myself, and a small part of me thinks:
I'm the only one who gets to see this. Maybe one day, there will be others. But for now? It's all mine.
And I decide: Maybe I won't relay this to the girls just yet. Because this is a precious moment I want all for myself.
As we walk, I grow more comfortable. My arm interlocks with his. Slowly, lazy, I offer casually, "So, what's up with Kana today?" I smile. Kana was Haruki's girlfriend, until they broke up.
I don't remember what cause it, but when I asked, Haruki just said, "Don't worry about it."
I very much worried about it until Kana reassured me they were still on amicable terms. So I looked at Haruki, smiling expectantly.
He smiled back. "Good," He said easily, "She's still in that band school she likes. I'm surprised she hasn't been kicked out yet." It was a joke, but there was an edge to his voice that I didn't quite comprehend. My brow furrowed, but I brushed it off with a soft laugh.
"Good for her, then," I smile, "Too bad she left us in this hell hole of a school."
Haruki's lips tug down into a frown. "Don't say that," He murmurs, "It's not a hell hole. It's tolerable because you're here."
I nearly jump out of my shoes, because oh dear Lord that sounds like a confession. But it's totally fine! It's because we're best friends, right? It's normal to say things like that…! It's totally platonic.
I swallow, and I feel my hands start to sweat. My eyes linger on his lips for an ungodly second before I remember— He's practically meant to be with one of the girls in his harem, or maybe all of them. I'm just a supporting side character, meant to cheer him on.
I shouldn't want anything more than that.
My fingers tighten, just barely.
Haruki walks me home, and gives me a soft, "Goodbye." It's heartfelt and sweet and makes my ears tear up and my chest ache in a good way.
"Bye," I murmur, and I'm inside the comfort of my own home. My parents greet me there, asking me about my day, normal stuff. I barely function through it.
And once I'm in my room? I remember the days before the Harem. When I was just a little boy, giggling softly with Haruki. When Haruki was my first friend. When Haruki bandaged the scrapes I had.
When our world revolved around us and us alone.
I stare at the photograph of us— Back in elementary, when my teeth were crooked and he was still the picture perfect golden boy. He still is.
But his attention was still only on me back then. My fingers clench.
"Haru, don't ever leave me."
Why can't I just remember? Why am I being so possessive? I shouldn't be like this. Haruki should be with the girls. I'm just the best friend.
My fingers clench. I should go get some sleep. I need to focus on playing Cupid for the girls, even if my heart is utterly torn. There's no way around it.
So, with my mind warring between my past and my future, I close my eyes and get some well-deserved rest.