The shopping trip only lasted the entire morning. After Edward hurriedly dropped Coin off after buying everything, it was already one in the afternoon.
With less than an hour left until Edward's playtime, Edward, anxiously concocting a lunch for Coin, rushed out the door, leaving Coin alone at Number 5 Privet Drive.
Rubbing his hands together like a scientist eager to conduct a sinister experiment, Coin returned to his bedroom. On the table sat the owl with the strangely powerful soul.
"Animagus? Blood-cursed orc? Or something else?"
Coin pulled out his chair and sat down, bringing him eye-level with the caged owl, "The Count.
" "That should be 'something else,'"
a slightly amused male voice uttered as the Count's sharp, barbed beak opened and closed.
"
Holy crap, you can talk?!"
Coin's eyes widened.
Animaguses can't speak in animal form, and blood-cursed orcs can't speak human language after transforming, because other animals' anatomy simply doesn't allow them to imitate human vocalizations—except for parrots.
"Goodness, Dementors can talk?"
the Count said, tilting his head, his tone completely unfazed, as if he were performing an English crosstalk with Cohen.
"You have a human father, so your mother is a Dementor?"
the Count continued bluntly.
"I've never seen this in all my years—coo-coo-coo—even for a bird, this is a bit too damn bizarre."
"…"
Cohen's gaze shifted from surprise to calm, then to indifference.
"Why aren't you talking? Is it because you've never seen a bird that can talk?"
The Count tilted his head, which had been tilted 90 degrees clockwise, again, this time 90 degrees counterclockwise. This behavior would have looked adorable on an ordinary owl.
"That's not right. A Dementor can talk, and a bird can talk, isn't that really baffling? Or do you not know you're a Dementor?"
"..." Cohen's face darkened.
"Oh no! I'm not going to scare you silly, am I? Does your father know the spell to break the 'Owl Purchase Contract'?"
"You know, a bird can't use a wand, but seeing as your father can handle a Dementor*, I'm sure breaking a contract shouldn't be a problem for him."
"..." Cohen's brow darkened.
"Of course, in exchange for your freedom, I can steal gold Galleons from other wizarding families for you. I'm an expert at this." "
Every wizard thinks owls are messengers, and never considers what a bird might take from their home—how about thirty Galleons? Thirty Galleons to buy me a free life as a bird for the rest of my life—"
"Wait a minute, I need to calm down."
Cohen stood up from his chair with a stiff expression, walked out of the bedroom, and slammed the door shut.
I don't know if it's too late to return the bird now. This isn't just a fake, it's a grotesque possession.
What kind of owl would yell "f**k" every few seconds and spout dirty jokes? Even
a soul like that would make Cohen sick!
But this owl's story about "stealing Galleons from other wizards' homes" seems quite tempting... But this owl had already figured out Coin's identity as a Dementor. Would it spread the news?
After all, he had been wandering Diagon Alley for so long, and no one had shouted, "Dementors are coming, everyone run!" or "Dementors are coming, everyone draw your wands, cast Expecto Patronus on it, and remember to recall your fondest memories, then use your materialized Patronus to send this monster flying."
Of course, ordinary wizards probably didn't know anything about advanced magic like the Patronus Charm.
Given Dumbledore's nature, he most likely simply acknowledged Coin's half-Dementor's survival. The fearful Ministry of Magic likely knew nothing, otherwise he wouldn't be roaming the Muggle streets alive. Keeping
one's identity secret was crucial in the early stages, at least until one's soul power surpassed that of most wizards. It was important not to share too many secrets with the wrong people.
And this talking owl, knowing Coin's identity, was clearly a disturbing factor.
But having a talking owl was pretty cool!
Cohen was torn and decided to give the owl a chance to live.
"Pah—"
Cohen returned to the room and sank back into his chair.
"Coo—"
"I've figured it out. First, let me clarify. My mother is not a Dementor, and my father is not Sad Wind—"
"Who is Sad Wind?" The owl, "The Count," expressed his confusion with his large eyes.
"A little owl can't know so many inappropriate things." Cohen refused to explain these things to his owl. "Let's get back to the topic. My parents are normal because I was adopted—and—"
Cohen emphasized the "and. "
"You know Dumbledore, right?"
"Yes. The last time I went to Hogwarts to deliver a letter to the young wizard, he was in the tower, lost in thought, staring at a picture of a young man. Do you want to know that man's name? Three Galleons—" "
Grindelwald, next question—no, don't change the subject!" Cohen warned.
"You asked me first!" the Earl retorted angrily. "You completely unreasonable little—"
After Cohen licked his lips deliberately, the Earl stopped complaining as if he had choked on an owl nut.
"Go on," the Earl said dryly.
"Dumbledore specifically placed me in this family, understand?" Cohen asked.
"Hmm?" The Count pecked at his own wing. "The way you're asking me this is like you're going to pluck my feathers one by one and ask me 'Do you agree?' 'Do you agree?'—" "Do you agree
?" Cohen asked seriously. "I'm very democratic. If you disagree, I'll eat your soul."
"You didn't ask me to agree to anything!" The Count bit off one of his feathers in anger. "Or—I guess you don't know—owls don't have the right to disagree!"
"It was you wizards who came up with the 'Owl Purchase Contract'! I swear, when I've eaten all the field mice in the world, I'll start eating wizards, all of you bastards who exploit these little animals—"
"Wait, you mean... you have to obey my orders, right?" Cohen almost understood the secret hidden in the Count's complaint.
"Do you think every owl will be bribed for life by your owl food, which is as big as its own cerebellum?" the Count said venomously.
"Let me verify this. I'm quite insecure." Cohen raised his eyebrows.
"Yeah, I'm sure you'll often worry about an owl attacking you - after all, I'll have a wand hidden on me, and every time a wizard buys me, I'll yell Avada Kedavra at him - and then you'll find out I'm a fucking owl, owl, you know? I don't even have hands to hold a wand!"
(End of this chapter)