[Chapter 1 – Verse 5]We Are Not Gods
The next day, I was bombarded with questions from friends after showing up to school unscathed despite jumping out the classroom window like a movie star. I also went to apologize to the teacher who witnessed it.
Senioritis.
The perfect excuse that works for everything.
"I was thinking, maybe Moon-soo's aptitude is movie star?"
"No way. Dangerous scenes are done by stuntmen."
"Then he'll be a stuntman!"
"Even stuntmen don't do reckless stuff like Moon-soo."
Kids who love meddling in others' business debated my aptitude.
'Movie star, stuntman. Both wrong. My aptitude is shaman.'
The old me would've played along, but now, just listening to their chatter made me feel good.
Because I've changed!
The mere fact that I wasn't repeating the same moments made the whole world look beautiful.
"Hey, look at Moon-soo's face."
"He's suddenly grinning like an idiot."
"Leave him alone. Probably lost in some fun daydream."
"He's not looking good."
Even if they misunderstood, it was fine!
"Finally…"
Until now, I'd ignored them like mannequins, but they were starting to feel like real people.
As a result, I realized I existed in a space filled with people.
Bonds between people.
Promises set by society.
Things I'd lost in my heart were slowly coming back to life.
'No, not yet.'
It's too early to relax. If I lose to Song Sun-young in today's race, I'll lose it all again.
"Student Kang Moon-soo."
"Yes."
"If you don't want to, don't jump out the window—just tell me. Could you solve problem 2 on page 341?"
A teacher asking a student to solve a problem!
It'd be easy to regress with the occult and erase it, but this is the karma I have to bear.
"Of course."
Because that's how I can keep moving forward.
***
I don't know the details, but it seems Song Sun-young's mother, a former national athlete, used her connections to secure part of the sports university pool for us to use briefly.
'I'm nervous.'
As I changed into my swimsuit and entered the pool, my heart raced with tension.
More than when I first took the aptitude test!
'Where's Song Sun-young… Oh!'
She, who was always later than me, was already here today.
"You're early."
Her swimsuit, designed for minimal water resistance, showed she was determined to beat me.
Her long legs, usually just beautiful, felt intimidating today.
"Don't forget our promise."
Her fierce gaze, heavy with resolve, bore into me. Gone was the carefree arrogance of before. I'd nearly caught up, after all.
"You too."
If I win, she promised not to kill herself, no matter her aptitude.
If I lose, I'd become her Adam, living in our own paradise…
'Not a bad deal if I lose.'
A life free from money worries in a capitalist society, with a beautiful Eve forever!
Even if everyone else seems like mannequins, I wouldn't be alone. She's probably thinking the same.
'Win or lose, it's good.'
No outcome was the worst.
'…No.'
I have to win. If the occult fails even once, Song Sun-young dies.
I shook off the complacent reliance on the mysterious occult.
"Ready…!"
The lifeguard, a swim coach by aptitude, was our referee.
With years of overseeing athletes' races at the sports university, he'd judge better than any layperson.
"…"
"…"
Having cleared part of the pool with other users' permission, we stood side by side at the starting line.
The signal was the clock on the pool's front wall.
When the second hand hit 12, we'd start.
Tick, tick, tick… Tick!
'Now…!'
Splash!
Diving smoothly, I focused only ahead.
'Breathing, technique, stamina…'
I didn't care where Song Sun-young was, only thinking about my fastest speed.
Everything she taught me flashed through my mind.
Swoosh-
Pushing through the water, I surged forward.
'Thank you.'
Song Sun-young planned to lose confidence and change her aptitude.
I was forced to learn swimming because of her, but it was filled with joyful, happy memories.
Tap.
My fingertips touched the wall.
That meant,
"Phew!"
I surfaced, taking a big breath.
Beeeep-
The referee's whistle echoed like thunder.
'Where's Song Sun-young?'
I immediately turned to check her position.
"Haa…"
Leaning against the pool wall, she was catching her breath, looking at me.
'Did I lose? Did I win?'
It was too close to tell.
Thinking the same, we both turned to the lifeguard.
"Who won?"
"Who was faster?"
The lifeguard, staring at the stopwatch in a daze, snapped to attention at our urging and shouted,
"Oh, right. The winner is…!"
***
Sitting side by side, we cooled off our bodies and sweat with our feet in the pool water, passing the time in silence.
"…"
"…"
No conversation, no checking each other's expressions, but I thought this wasn't so bad.
But everything with a beginning has an end. This silence couldn't last forever.
"…I lost."
Splash, splash~
Song Sun-young, calmly acknowledging her defeat, playfully kicked her legs in the water.
I could tell she was pretending to be nonchalant.
"It was close."
"Still, a loss is a loss. My mom was like that in an important race too… They don't give half a medal or a pension for 'almost winning.'"
"Do you hate competing with others?"
"…I don't hate it. If I really did, I wouldn't have gotten swimmer as my aptitude."
"That's… true."
It was a thoughtless question, and a pretty dumb one. If she hated competition, her aptitude wouldn't have been swimmer in the first place.
But it's also undeniable that she despises her fiercely competitive aptitude.
I couldn't help but ask.
"What do you want to do?"
"I don't know."
"Why not take the aptitude test first and then figure it out?"
"…Moon-soo."
"Speak."
"I know what you're worried about. But I think it's worth the risk. If I prepare and kill myself just one more time, would that be okay?"
"What preparation?"
"To get rich."
"Oh…"
Song Sun-young seemed to plan on memorizing stock or real estate info and regressing one last time.
It's a matter of flexibility.
But is there a guarantee that one last exception would be safe?
No.
"I'm not saying I won't keep my promise. Just one more time."
"…"
"It's not a bad deal, right? It's your chance to get rich too."
"Hm…"
It was a fatally tempting offer, like the devil's whisper.
Rational, practical, future-oriented…
If the occult worked just one more time, it'd be a perfect plan.
"Moon-soo, let's do it."
"…Sorry."
"Why?"
"I get that it's an easy, fast way to get rich. But it's not worth betting your life on."
"We've gone back in time without issues so far."
"Not anymore."
My gut was screaming.
If we keep relying on the occult like this, we'll regret it deeply.
"How do you know?"
There's no clear evidence or proof. But I had to show her.
"Because I'm a shaman."
The reason for my certainty.
"Oh…"
"I know because I'm a shaman. There's no next time for us."
"…Are you sure?"
"I'm sure."
If I'm wrong, I'd be robbing her of the chance to get rich forever.
But I won't regret it.
"I can't believe you."
"I don't want to give up the chance to get rich either."
But I still won't regret it!
"Oh…"
"You're not the only one giving it up. But we have no choice. There's no next time."
"…Okay."
"Thank you for believing me!"
"One last question."
"Anything."
"If I had won, what would you have done? You said there's no next time."
A fair question.
I answered without hesitation.
"I would've died with you. Because it'd be my fault for not stopping you."
"…"
"You don't believe me?"
"…I have one request."
"What?"
"If I try to kill myself again, stop me."
"Got it."
"Let's go before that guy bothers us."
The swim coach, stunned by our race times, was eyeing us like a hyena stalking prey.
Could we slip away quietly?
"…Ladies first."
"What?"
"I'll handle him. You go."
"Oh! Thanks."
Understanding my meaning, Song Sun-young smirked and headed to the changing room.
"Hey, kid…!"
"She's my friend. And I won, by the way. If you have something to say, say it to me."
I've got a part-time job soon, so I can't talk long, though!
***
Maybe it's because I realized time, once spent, doesn't come back?
I used my time wisely, without wasting it.
"Big Bro Moon-soo~!"
My second-year junior, Choi Kang-hoon, who I've been close with since we were snotty-nosed elementary schoolers, came running up.
I'd never paid attention to guys' looks, but I noticed his legs were just as long as Song Sun-young's.
'Could he be…'
I could easily picture a group of girls cheering for this handsome guy walking by a pool.
"…Bro?"
"Ahem! Nothing. What's up?"
"I heard you're dating a pretty senior."
"Who's spreading that nonsense…"
"They say it's all over school. Someone saw you picking out women's underwear at the department store."
"…"
I want to wring the neck of whoever started that rumor.
"Bro, is it true?"
"Yeah, it's true. But I can't agree with the dating part."
Since the swimming race, our relationship has been awkward.
We only exchange glances when we pass in the school hallways.
"Wow!"
"For a guy who gets confessed to by girls every day—"
"That's so cool! Manly!"
"Is it…?"
'Didn't he say kicking away a girl's confession was manly?'
I couldn't figure out what Choi Kang-hoon's idea of "manly" was.
"Bro! Bro!"
"What now?"
"If I jump out a window like you, will I be manly too?"
"Gah! Never do that! Don't even try—cough, cough!"
Choking in shock, I frantically tried to stop him.
'Is he trying to get himself killed?!'
He'd become a ghost before becoming his idea of a cool guy.
"I know. I'm too scared to jump."
"Good… Wait, how do you know?"
"I tried it at home."
"Dear God…"
I could vividly imagine how shocked his parents must've been.
If they found out he did it because of me?
Chills ran down my spine.
"You're really amazing, Bro."
"Kang-hoon, someone who ignores perfectly good stairs to use a window isn't amazing—they're just an idiot."
"Not that."
"Then what?"
"The aptitude test results just came out. Everyone's freaking out, but you're totally chill."
"Well…"
I've seen those results more than once.
"So, what's your aptitude?"
"Looks like the rumors haven't spread yet."
"They just came out. Isn't it too early for rumors?"
"Oh, right."
I got mixed up with past memories.
"If it's you, Bro, always in the spotlight, the rumors will spread fast… So, what's your aptitude?"
"Shaman."
"Whoa! For real?!"
"Yeah."
"That's awesome! I knew your aptitude would be manly!"
"…Kang-hoon?"
"Yeah!"
"Do you even know what a shaman is?"
"Of course! They beat up bad ghosts. I've watched so many of Yoo Il-am's broadcasts!"
"I see…"
I could tell Choi Kang-hoon and I had very different ideas about "Shaman Yoo Il-am."
"Oh! Bro! Your girlfriend's here!"
"I don't have a—"
"Shaman."
Song Sun-young's voice called me from behind.
That was fine, but Choi Kang-hoon's cat-like grin, like he'd caught a fish, was very annoying.
"You already told your girlfriend about your aptitude?! Cool! Taking care of her first!"
"That's not—"
"I'm quick on the uptake, so I'll leave you two alone! Bye~!"
"Hey, listen to your bro first—Choi Kang-hoon! Hey! Hey~!"
Whoosh~
Using his long legs, Choi Kang-hoon vanished like the wind.
"Quick on the uptake, my foot…"
"You're the one who's clueless. What were you about to tell your close junior? If I'm not your girlfriend, then what am I?"
"My girlfriend!"
"Am I?"
"…"
"Kidding. But I'm a little suspicious. Aren't you curious about your girlfriend's aptitude?"
"I'm curious!"
I had a strong feeling I'd be in deep trouble if I said I wasn't!
"For real?"
"For real."
"Then look."
Flutter~
Song Sun-young unfolded the paper with her aptitude test result.
Swimmer
"Oh…"
"So, Moon-soo, I have a favor to ask."
"As long as it's not about suicide."
"Stay by my side. I really want to kill myself."
"…Okay."
It was too terrifying a request to refuse.