Three days after Adrian's transformation, Kieran decided it was time for his first real feeding.
They traveled to Shanghai after sunset—vampires could move in daylight, but it was painful, weakening. Night was their natural element.
Kieran had arranged to meet a donor at a private club—the kind of place where vampires and humans mingled, where the supernatural world was known and accepted.
"Remember," Kieran said as they entered, "take only what you need. Listen to their heartbeat—when it starts to slow too much, stop. And if you can't stop, I'll pull you away. There's no shame in needing help."
Adrian nodded, nervous. The club was full of humans, and the scent of blood was overwhelming. Every heartbeat called to him, every pulse point visible through skin that suddenly seemed translucent.
"Focus," Kieran murmured. "Block out the others. Follow me."
They went to a private room where a young woman waited. She was beautiful—deliberately so, Adrian realized. Donors were often chosen for their appeal.
"Lord Ashford," she greeted, her voice musical. "And this must be your new progeny. I'm Lily."
"A pleasure," Adrian managed, trying not to stare at her throat.
"First time?" Lily asked kindly. "Don't worry. I've been doing this for years. Just be gentle, and stop when I tap your shoulder three times."
She tilted her head, exposing her neck, and Adrian's vision went red.
The hunger roared to life, demanding, insistent. He lunged forward, his fangs sinking into her throat before conscious thought could intervene.
Blood flooded his mouth—warm, fresh, alive. Nothing like the stored blood bags. This was life itself, flowing from her veins to his, and it was indescribable.
Adrian drank desperately, the hunger an aching void that demanded to be filled. Lily's heartbeat was loud in his ears, her scent surrounding him, her blood singing through his system.
Then three taps on his shoulder.
Adrian didn't stop. Couldn't stop. The hunger was too great, the blood too good.
Kieran's hand gripped the back of his neck, firm and commanding. "Adrian. Stop."
Adrian snarled, unwilling to release his prey—his prey, this was his—
"Stop. Now." Kieran's voice held compulsion, vampire to vampire, and Adrian's body obeyed despite his mind's protest.
He pulled back, fangs retracting, and saw Lily pale and swaying. Her heartbeat was too slow, her breathing shallow.
"I'm sorry," Adrian gasped, horrified. "I didn't mean—"
"It's okay," Lily said weakly. "First timers always take too much. I'm fine."
But she clearly wasn't fine. Kieran had already pulled out his phone, calling for medical assistance—human doctors who knew about vampires and could treat blood loss discreetly.
Adrian backed away, his hands shaking. "I almost killed her."
"But you didn't. You stopped when I commanded you to stop." Kieran turned to him once the doctors arrived. "That's good. It means you can be controlled, can be trained. Some new vampires can't even do that."
"I felt her dying and I didn't want to stop. What does that make me?"
"A vampire. A predator learning to control their nature." Kieran pulled him close. "This is why we practice. Why we use donors instead of hunting random humans. You'll get better."
But Adrian felt sick—or as sick as a vampire could feel. He'd almost killed someone. Would have killed her if Kieran hadn't intervened.
"Come on," Kieran said gently. "Let's go home. You need rest."
"Vampires don't need rest."
"We need time to process, to reflect. That's close enough."
Back at the penthouse—which had been fully repaired after Viktor's attack—Adrian stood at the window, staring out at the city full of potential prey.
"I'm a monster," he said quietly.
Kieran appeared behind him, wrapping his arms around Adrian's waist. "You're a vampire learning control. There's a difference."
"You keep saying that. That there's a difference between predator and monster. But where's the line?"
"The line is choice. A predator hunts to survive. A monster hunts for pleasure, for cruelty, because they can." Kieran rested his chin on Adrian's shoulder. "You didn't want to hurt Lily. You were driven by hunger, by instinct. That's not monstrous—that's nature."
"What if I can't control it? What if I'm always going to be one step away from draining someone dry?"
"Then I'll be there to stop you. Every time, for as long as it takes." Kieran turned Adrian around to face him. "You're not alone in this. You have me, Marcus, Wei. We'll all help you learn control. And eventually, it will become second nature."
Adrian wanted to believe him. But the taste of Lily's blood was still in his mouth, and the hunger—temporarily sated—was already beginning to stir again.
"How often will I need to feed?"
"Daily, for now. As you gain control, it will be less frequent. I feed every three or four days currently."
"And if I can't find a donor? If I'm somewhere without access to ethical feeding?"
Kieran's expression was serious. "Then you take what you need from criminals, from people who harm others. You never, ever feed on children, on the innocent, on the vulnerable. Those are the lines I've drawn for myself. The lines that separate me from the monster I was."
"Were you really a monster?"
"Yes. For the first century after your death, I was a creature of pure destruction. I killed without discrimination, fed without conscience, spread terror wherever I went." Kieran's voice was hollow. "The monks found me after I'd slaughtered that village I told you about. They saw something worth saving—I still don't know what—and they dedicated themselves to teaching me control. It took decades."
"I don't want to take decades to learn control."
"You won't. You have me, and I have a thousand years of experience. You have a reason to learn control—the promise of eternity together. I had nothing but guilt and self-hatred." Kieran kissed his forehead. "You'll be fine. Better than fine. You'll be magnificent."