"You don't look surprised."
Cedric observed my expression as he released me from his embrace. I put on a straight face, but I honestly didn't know why Cedric fell for me. Rather than surprised, I was more confused.
"Try getting confessions from all your members, you might understand my feelings for a bit."
"Haha, there's no way that could happen to me in this lifetime. After all, one of my team members is you."
I frowned at his words, not because it offended me but because that was true.
There's no way I would ever confess when it took me this long to realize my own feelings and made up my mind.
"Just like Xain said, it's better to pour out your feelings and let you know first, I feel more refreshed." Cedric smiled as he took a step back. "So my kiss is allowed? You could have dodged but you decided to receive my kiss instead."
I nodded, "I am fully aware of your intention, and you asked for a favor, so I willingly oblige."
Harold told me before, all my members had feelings for me. So starting from that time, I was conscious of my member's behavior.
The only one that hadn't confessed to me was Cedric, he always kept his distance and watched. When he suddenly got close, my instincts were telling me something was going to happen. But out of respect for his feelings, I decided to accept it.
Cedric gave me a judging look, "Your way of thinking is too logical, you hurt my heart with your indifference, you know?"
"Ah, no, I didn't mean it that way, I'm grateful for your feelings for me. But I'm going to start dating Ilyas, so I need to draw the line, I'm sorry-"
"Alright, alright, I understand, the more you speak the more my heart gets destroyed." He sighed as he turned off the running tap water and walked away. "Let's head back, we are here for far too long already."
I followed after him and tapped Cedric's shoulder, giving him a teasing smile.
"So... You have officially blessed my relationship with Ilyas now?"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, captain." Cedric rolled his eyes, but I was more shocked by the fact that he called me by my title.
I protested, "Hey, why are you being so distant all of a sudden? Call my name as usual, you calling me 'captain' is giving me bad vibes!"
"Shut it, you heart destroyer playboy, I don't want to call you by name until my broken heart is healed."
We were all smiles by the time we got back to our table. As long as we communicate with the intent of understanding each other, there's nothing that couldn't be tolerated.
That night, we enjoyed our dinner to the fullest.
.
.
Cedric was a child born from an accident. His parents were still young and irresponsible, so when his father found out his mother was pregnant, he left her.
Cedric was an unwanted child in his mother's life, but fortunately, his uncle and aunt managed to persuade his mother to give birth to him.
But his childhood wasn't great, his mother turned to drugs and alcohol to cope with her stress. And as a result, whenever his mother was angry, Cedric would become the perfect punching bag for her to lash out her anger on.
Whenever he opened his mouth, things would be thrown at him. When he asked for food, his mother would hit him.
He could only silently endure the hunger and thirst by salvaging trash and leftover food on his mother's plate. Time was especially harsh for him in the winter, he had to endure hunger as well as the cold floor of his house with only a layer of thin cloth that was bought by his uncle years ago for summer.
No one could help him. His uncle and aunt had left the country to pursue their career. He was left to be taken care of by his abusive mother. Every time his uncle called, his mother would tell him to act nicely and threatened to throw him away if he didn't.
That's why, for him to survive, he had to grow his wit.
Cedric was by no means stupid, in fact, he was a smart kid. Unfortunately, with lack of money, he couldn't apply for school and was forced to study from books his mother had when she was in elementary. He grew up as a teenager this way – with no education, malnourished and close to violence.
So awakening as an esper was a blessing to him.
It didn't take him long to adjust to the violent nature of being an esper. Going in and out of gates was actually a perfect excuse for him to seek something he had been craving for – a place to pour out his years of misery. He judged the world unfair and took revenge by slaughtering his enemy.
That's when his twisted mindset grew. Seeing his enemy bled and crushed was part of his joy. So if things that he took a liking to were taken away from him, he became furious.
Having little to nothing all his life, he became quite possessive of things he had and things he took a fancy to.
So when Ilyas came, he thought he had to possess him, he had to make Ilyas his.
But that was shattered by someone unexpected.
"Try questioning this to yourself, do you want Ilyas to be your exclusive guide because of his guiding ability or because you need him as a partner?"
It wasn't a question Cedric actually paid attention to. Ethan was just an obstacle he had to take down to get what he wanted. At least that's what he thought.
But Ethan was more cunning than he could imagine, he did as he please, dragging him and Xain around like they owed him money.
He acted like their mother, although he acted strict sometimes, he mostly treated them with kindness, something Cedric never felt in his life. Before long, Cedric realized the true sunshine that roped his heart wasn't Ilyas but Ethan.
It was no longer a desire to possess but a desire to stay together because of comfort.
He showed Cedric that kindness could change a person consumed by madness like him.
But alas, fate was never in favor for Cedric. The other members of his team confessed first and Ethan chose Ilyas, leaving no room for Cedric.
That's why he chose another measure.
Rather than words, he kissed Ethan to convey his feelings. But to his surprise, Ethan didn't comment on it, he just apologetically rejected him and stayed firm on his choice of dating Ilyas.
So it was a goodbye kiss.
The feelings Cedric had should be buried deep within his heart. He had to be content with watching the one he love went to another person.
But as long as they were still a team, that's enough. There were a lot of chances to meet Ethan and talk to him, Ethan would still tease him and laugh together with him.
That little bit of kindness was all he needed.