A hospital room—Lin had never occupied one. He usually went from the repair capsule straight into a wheelchair, which he then rode for over a month.
He found the room number, pushed the door open, and entered. The patient's injuries weren't severe; the worst was a self-inflicted fracture. But considering the limb amputation and psychological trauma, he was placed in a private room.
The ventilation in the room was good, with a separate air circulation system. A bouquet of freshly replaced carnations sat on the bedside table, dewy and beautiful. Light streamed in from the window, casting a bright, thin veil.
Lin carried a basket of fruit to the bedside and placed it on the nightstand. The person in the bed, leaning against the pillows, quietly looked at him.
"I never expected you to be the first to visit me. That is truly... interesting." Spaciel placed his amputated arm outside the blanket. Mei's surgical skill wasn't exceptionally brilliant, but it was precise enough. The amputation didn't affect the normal movement of the remaining half of Spaciel's limb.
Compared to his madness during their last encounter, Spaciel was much calmer now. His long hair was neatly styled, restoring his image as a refined Doctor. Only his still-pale complexion showed that his physical condition wasn't good.
Lin pulled up a stool and sat down: "The fruit basket is from Mei. She's too busy to get away, so I'm visiting for her."
Spaciel clutched the back of his head with his remaining hand and laughed loudly: "Hahahaha, that makes sense. Why would you ever willingly visit the enemy who killed your wife?"
"..." Lin saw that his smile didn't seem fake. He thought for a moment and asked, "Do you still want to hit me?"
"Forget it. Hitting you only leaves me more wounded." Spaciel shook his head, shifting his hips back to sit higher, looking toward the light on the windowsill. "Besides, after you asked that, how could anyone still bring themselves to hit you?"
"I'm sorry."
"Why are you apologizing?"
"..."
"I've thought a lot since I woke up. I thought about everything from the day I met Karen to the birth of Sijin. Oh, right, we were planning to celebrate at the restaurant where Karen and I first met that day."
Spaciel's eyes glimmered, and a gentle smile played on his lips: "You wouldn't believe it, but my first meeting with her was also on her birthday. I had just finished writing my graduation thesis and hadn't eaten all day. I randomly found a restaurant, but I was so starved and dizzy that I didn't notice the place was booked out for a birthday celebration."
"I thought the restaurant was having a special event, so I sat down and started stuffing my face. The birthday girl was sitting right next to me, watching this stranger crash her birthday party with curiosity, until I felt the surroundings were too quiet, looked up, and met her eyes."
Spaciel couldn't help but chuckle at the memory of that scene, which was awkward yet seemingly destined: "The meeting of people can be so bizarre. Who knew that an ordinary science student who was nearly starving would eventually end up with the girl whose meal he crashed."
Lin was quieter than ever before. He was afraid to interrupt the man's memory, memorizing every word Spaciel said.
"Later, we went through a lot. I joined the Moth of the Fire Chasers, and she did too. Then she got pregnant and gave birth to Sijin. Since then, my life had two more important people. And it was from Sijin's birth that my originally rational and rigid thinking started to change."
"Why is life so miraculous? The birth of a new life is an insignificant part of this world, yet it is an indispensable one. A life from birth to death is truly a collection of miracles."
"Can you understand that?"
Lin nodded.
"I hope so." Spaciel might have felt Lin was being perfunctory, but he didn't care. "From having nothing to having two incredibly important women by my side, the flaws in my humanity were slowly being repaired."
"So now, do you feel like you've lost your humanity again?"
"Huh? No, no, no, how could I." Spaciel chuckled comfortably. "Do you know what Karen said about you when I talked to her?"
"..."
"That you are a great life, no different from any other human."
Spaciel spoke as if to himself: "At first, I thought you were an emotionless programmed machine, but recalling Karen's words, I seem to understand your perspective."
"You don't treat a single human as a special existence. To you, all humans are equal. You also possess love, hate, and sorrow, but within this equal view, your choice for the 'correct' path outweighs your choice for your 'self'."
"Simply put, you minimize the self; you are an absolute altruist."
The carnation branches drooped.
Spaciel couldn't help but laugh out loud: "It's utterly bizarre. An altruist is interpreted as a self-serving killing machine, and to truly understand you, one has to approach it from the philosophy of life."
"So, you still haven't answered my question," Lin gently shook his head.
"Haven't I answered? I'm interpreting you from the philosophy of life, meaning through a foundation of humanity. That's how I understand that you pulled the trigger then so that I would have a target for hatred and venting, and so that Kevin wouldn't have a psychological burden. A cruel act, yet the purpose was for the good of others. This is truly..."
"...You don't have to pretend you don't hate me anymore."
"Of course I hate you!" Spaciel suddenly gritted his teeth and whispered harshly. "Even knowing all this, so what! Even if I know everyone was helpless then, know I acted like a lunatic, know your 'rationality' was absolutely correct, so what!"
"I wanted to shift my hatred onto the people who attacked the Fifth Branch, but they informed me that person had already been executed! So what am I supposed to do? Live on cheerfully and magnanimously? Bury the past by carrying the will of my deceased wife and the kinship of my daughter? What a joke!"
"Can human emotions simply dissipate with the words 'correct'? Can they dissipate just because you're an altruist working for the good of others? Could the impulse to smash your head in be stopped by any of those things!"
Spaciel's voice grew louder, alarming the nurse, who pushed the door open from outside. Lin waved his hand, signaling her to stand down.
"But... I still don't want to kill you anymore..."
His voice dropped low.
"Everyone was helpless at that moment, but I wish I had developed the serum to cure Honkai sickness before then."
"I wish I had discovered the Fifth Branch was being invaded sooner."
"I wish... I had died sooner."
Spaciel covered his face, and tears streamed down his slackened skin.
"Every human life is equally great..."
"But I failed to protect my 'insignificance'."
Tears fell into the light.