A cold knot tightened in my stomach as my mind took me back to the series of events that led to me coming here.
Once again, I am Kazim and I will be the narrator...writer...author...yeah, author of this tale.
My story is quite twisted and not what you would expect so grab your popcorn because this ride might last a while.
But, before I proceed with the tale, I have to introduce you to the main characters of this story.
We were five in number and friends since childhood so let the introduction begin.
The first character I want to tell you about is the smartest (irony) character, Tochukwu. He was the only one that wasn't a friend from childhood because we befriended him in high school.
Tochukwu was very good at one thing: flopping.
He flopped at literally everything: academics, social skills and even personal hygiene.
But that's what made us love him.
His imperfections.
But the main reason was his ability to always have a good sense of humour in every situation.
I mean, who wouldn't like a guy who would make you reveal your 24 carat teeth?
So he was a great guy (if he didn't flop so much).
The second and third were the couple in our friend group.
Yeah, you read that right, COUPLE!
I mean, everything friend group has a couple (God will punish gays).
Jumai and Adewale.
Those two didn't act like they had been dating since primary school,
They acted like husband and wife.
Jumai was an introvert and she absolutely hated socializing.
But she could be very sweet when she warmed to you (which can take six to seven millenniums depending on your personality).
Adewale was the calm type.
He was the oldest so he acted like one.
But we didn't call him daddy, only Jumai could.
He even had a beard and a deep voice.
I believed they were a perfect fit and would end up marrying and have twenty-five kids.
Too far?
The fourth character is Sally.
She was a product of both religions so she only supports one of them when she has to.
But her appearance, well...like an angel.
First of all, she was too damn pretty.
She looked like an angel that descended downward from heaven in moonlight.
Second of all, she was very...big. I don't mean fat but she had a crazy figure 8.
Not even a figure 8, a figure 88!
And she was also quite intelligent. The pure definition of beauty with brains.
Sally was just fire!
Hot like a luminous flame, shining like a crystallized diamond and enchanting like an ethereal fairy.
Plus, she had a model-like walk that would captivate any guy.
The last one is yours truly, moi. I was 6'5 around that time and already growing facial hair.
I don't think I have ever been handsome because anytime I look in the mirror, there's a wild-eyed baboon staring at me.
I really don't want to talk a lot about myself because I am the one narrating the story and you will learn a lot about me as time goes on.
So, back to the scene at Azim's house.
Seven hefty niggas staring at us (I am black so I am qualified to use the N word).
The only word that could come out of my mouth was,
"Run!"
And so we did.
Luckily for us, the room had a window that could be opened quite easily.
Adewale yanked the window open breathlessly and jumped down two floors and the rest of us followed suit.
Well... except Sally.
She looked quite frightened.
I tried to push her but she refused to budge, she was just whimpering and shaking.
I looked back and saw the seven guys, armed to the teeth, just staring at us without bothering to chase.
I wondered why they didn't chase but still, I was worried about Sally.
Adewale, who has landed perfectly screamed,
"Get your bodies down now! What are you both waiting for?"
He actually said asses but I am trying to keep this book PG so I have replaced it with selves.
Jumai looked anxious.
Tochukwu was itching his...head.
I had had enough. (English, WTF!)
I grabbed Sally and utilizing strength I didn't even know I possessed, I threw her down.
She let out a loud yell.
Luckily, Adewale and Tochukwu caught her and they calmed her down.
I was just about to perform my epic jump as well but I felt a hand on my shoulder.
The hand felt cold and lifeless.
If I had been a bit calmer, I might have turned back.
But I was so spooked that I shrieked like a new born baby and landed a nasty uppercut to the person's...I thought it was a person...jaw.
Then I executed a front flip down the window and would have died if not for Adewale who, if he was any calmer, who have chastised me for being a numbskull caught me.
I mean, who flips down two floors when he has seven Arnold Schwarzeneggers after him...well, Kazim.
But he was also spooked so he just yelled something in an esoteric language that sounded like "Gay unicorn!"
So we all took the hint and ran like our lives were at stake...oh yeah, they were.
Even though I was running (the fastest, by the way), That hand felt familiar.
THE NEXT DAY
Luckily for us, the previous day was a Friday so we could meet together on this day.
On our Whatsapp group named Rightful Squad (only Tochukwu could come up with such a corny name), we had agreed to meet at Adewale's apartment.
Adewale had stopped living with his parents since his first year in high school and it earned him infinite aura at school.
We didn't even notice until he invited us to his apartment.
It was a "self contain" type of apartment. I liked it because It wasn't too big but it was big enough for comfort.
I really envied him but I passed out when I found out how much he paid for rent.
Why is it so expensive?!
We had all agreed to meet at high noon...I am just kidding, two in the afternoon to decide our next course of action.