The next morning, the seaside battlefield is prepared. We claim a spot on the pristine white sand, setting up a large beach umbrella and a small army of towels and chairs. The air is thick with the scent of salt and sunscreen, and a palpable, competitive tension.
Then comes the grand swimsuit reveal.
Hana and Miki are first. Hana is wearing a cute, modest, light blue one-piece with a floral pattern, looking exactly like the sweet, innocent girl she is. Miki is in a practical, dark green, athletic-style two-piece, a swimsuit that says 'I am here to swim laps, not to mess around.'
Then, the two main combatants emerge from the changing rooms.
Rina is a vision of calculated cuteness. She is wearing a frilly, pastel pink bikini, adorned with ribbons and bows. It is a swimsuit designed to scream 'adorable, harmless little sister,' while also being just daring enough to be undeniably alluring. It is a masterpiece of strategic warfare.
Haruka, on the other hand, is a vision of cool, mature elegance. She is wearing a sleek, black, high-waisted bikini with sharp, modern lines. Combined with her designer sunglasses and a wide-brimmed hat, she looks less like a high school student and more like an off-duty supermodel. It is a display of effortless, intimidating confidence.
Kenji, upon seeing them, makes a strange gurgling noise, and a thin trickle of blood erupts from his nose. "It is too much…" he whispers reverently before collapsing onto his towel. "Too much beauty…"
I, for my part, am wearing a long-sleeved, high-necked, black rash guard that covers my entire torso and arms, and a pair of long, baggy board shorts that go down to my knees. I look like I am about to attend a funeral at a surf competition. Rina and Haruka both give me a look of profound disappointment. My defensive strategy is working perfectly.
Then comes the first engagement: The Sunscreen War.
"Aah, Onii-chan," Rina says, her voice a helpless, syrupy sweet melody. "I cannot reach my back. Could you… help me put on my sunscreen?" She holds out the bottle, her back turned to me.
Before I can even formulate a refusal, Haruka interjects. "Do not bother him, Hinamata. He is probably not very good at it." She turns to me, a cool smile on her face. "Rui-kun, you seem like you would have a more even, methodical touch. Would you mind? I would hate to get a patchy tan."
I am trapped. Two beautiful girls are asking me to rub lotion on their backs. It is the plot of every terrible harem anime, and it is happening to me. I look to Miki and Hana for help, but they have both suddenly become intensely interested in a seashell several yards away. Traitors.
"Fine," I grit out. I squeeze a dollop of sunscreen into my hands and apply it to Rina's back with the clinical, detached efficiency of a bomb disposal expert, using only my fingertips and moving as fast as humanly possible. I do the same for Haruka. The entire process takes fifteen seconds, but it feels like an eternity of pure, concentrated mortification.
To escape the tension, I suggest a game of beach volleyball. It is a terrible mistake.
It is me, Rina, and Hana versus Kenji, Haruka, and Miki. The game immediately devolves into a proxy war. Every spike from Rina is aimed directly at Haruka's head. Every block from Haruka is a calculated, aggressive rebuttal. They are not playing volleyball; they are having a death match with a net in the middle. I am caught in the crossfire, repeatedly getting hit by a ball that seems to be traveling at the speed of sound.
After a particularly brutal spike from Rina nails me directly in the face, I call a time-out. "I am getting drinks," I announce, making my escape.
I trudge over to the small drink stand on the boardwalk, my head ringing. I just want a moment of peace.
"One bottle of water, please," I say to the vendor.
"Coming right up," a soft, familiar voice says from beside me.
I turn. And my brain short-circuits. Standing right next to me, wearing a cute, modest sundress over her swimsuit and holding a bottle of green tea, is Aiwa Matsuki.
"Matsuki-san?!" I gasp, my voice full of disbelief. "What are you doing here?"
She is just as surprised as I am. "Hinamata-kun! Wow! What a coincidence!" she says, her face breaking into that familiar, shy, happy smile. "My family is here for a small weekend vacation."
We are having a normal, pleasant conversation. It is a beautiful, wonderful moment of sanity in a day of absolute chaos.
And then, that moment is shattered.
"Onii-chan, what is taking you so long?" Rina's voice, sharp and suspicious, cuts through the air.
She has appeared right behind me. And right behind her is Haruka, her arms crossed, her eyes narrowed. They both followed me. They both see me, smiling and talking happily with the one girl they both now perceive as a potential threat.
The look on their faces is identical. It is a look of pure, synchronized, and utterly terrifying jealousy. The beach war has just opened a new, unexpected front, and I am standing right at ground zero.